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1. Examine your opponent. You can easily tell if someone is going to mess you up or not, at least I hope. Once examined go to 2 if you aren't going to be messed up or 18 if you are. 

2. Spam them with your bow. If no bow or out of arrows go to 3. If they're in close range, skip to 14. If they're dead, move to 17. 

3. Throw potions at them (who even makes potions anymore lol). If no potions move to 4. If they're in close range, skip to 14. If they're dead, move to 17. 

4. Use any plugin abilities (McMMO and Heroes are some main ones). If none or out of mana or can't use them, move to 5. If they're in close range, skip to 14. If they're dead, move to 17. 

5. Re-consider the situation. If you aren't going to be messed up move to 6, if you are move to 18. 

6. Pray to jesus that you don't die, but then realize christianity is fake and say amen after. Move to 7 once this is done. 

7. Go read my other blog about bad minecraft servers, and check if this server is one of those. If so, move to 19. Otherwise, continue to 8. 

8. Remember that part in The Stanley Parable where there's the game that is a button that when you press it, it displays an 8 and says 8? Good times. If you do remember, move to 10. If you have never played The Stanley Parable, or have forgotten or never reached this point in the game, continue to 9. 

9. Feel bad about yourself. Continue to 10. 

10. Realize that I skipped 8. If you actually checked, continue to 11, otherwise, move to 12. 

11. Feel bad about yourself. Continue to 12. 

12. Enough loligagging, there is a battle at hand! Do your usual battle cry to strike fear in the opponent! If you actually did this, continue to 13, otherwise, move to 14. 

13. Realize that there actually is no mic function and your mother is probably coming down to check on you because you just screamed some offensive words or something. Continue to 14. 

14. Pull out your sword and start clicking on the opponent with it while simultaneously clicking on the right side so that you look really dumb, but actually block while swinging. Once they're dead, move to 17. If you died, continue to 15. 

15. Rage quit because you probably just lost like years of work that could have been put to something actually useful, like getting some vitamin D in the outdoors or something. Continue to 16. 

16. Throw your headset/earbuds/computer/whateveryoucangetyourhandson at the wall and then realize how mad your mother is going to be about your behavior. Seriously, I thought this was a mature community, not some CoD 12 year old rage community. If you reached here you failed and your mother is going to spank you a lot. 

17. Congrats. You successfully killed the opposition, and thus gained a bunch of loot which you probably can't even carry. Go feel proud of yourself, because you did it. If you reached here then you won. 

18. Quit the server and wait overnight, only to be surprised the next day by lava all around you, and no escape what so ever, thus dying. Move to 16. 

19. Quit the server and never play on it again, because you realized you could be spending your time on a better server. If you reached here, you won. You did it better than trying to kill him. You successfully identified a bad server and have ridden yourself from it. 

20. Completely skip everything I said and never actually be on the server (or just have read this after being a scrub). If you ignored everything I said and went straight here, you're the real hero. You, instead of wasting your time fighting some dude in a digital game, spent your time on more useful stuff. This, is the true ending. You won. gg 

I need to go get a life.