Marv The Two-legged Two-armed Octopus (A Story for Judd's Masterpiece Skin)
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Level 37 : Artisan Scribe
Posted 11/15/11 4:30:57 am
MARV. The two armed, two legged Octopus. This is a tale for another time...but I'll tell you now anyways. Brace yourself for the epictopusness.
Marv was born aboard a ship at sea - not a pirate ship or a royal navy schooner, but merely a barnacle-fishing ship called the Scuttler. Yup, those fisherman were the laziest and only barnacle fishers in the world, and would simply wait in the open sea for barnacles to attach to their vessel before scraping them off, using the help of Marv's family. Marv was birthed in the red knit cap of the 6th mate, the last and least important member of the Scuttler's crew. Though he emerged from humble beginnings, the legend of Marv grew and grew until he became one of the most well known unknown quadrupedal octopi of our time.
At merely two years of age, Marv's first leg was lost in an accident involving a large butcher knife and the cook of the Scuttler mistaking him for a cuddle-fish (which were a mighty fine delicacy on the high seas, eaten by octopus and seaman alike).
Several years later, when Marv turned three years old (octopus years are not measured in time but the amount of eels an octopus wrestles with throughout his or her life), he finally set out to shore on his own, packing his bags and kissing (well, beak-ing, I guess) his mommy goodbye. Unfortunately, one of his legs got caught in the cabin door on the way out and he forgot to go back for it, so excited he was to leave the open seas for the open road.
With two arms and four legs still remaining, Marv set out for his first goal as an octopus (technically sextopus now, though) of the road, seeking the pleasures of women and land-eel wrestling and sometimes both at once! Unfortunately, Marv's encounters with these mysterious creatures didn't go well (the women, not the land-eels), and it cost him and arm and a leg to get away from his female-related predicaments. Fortunately he was a slippery fellow (literally) and got away with losing only one leg. Now at two arms and three legs, and having seventeen more successfully wrestled eels under his belt, he set off for the frozen northlands in hopes of finding his cousin, the Killer Ultimate Destroyer of A Thousand Seas Squid, Sherman.
The twenty-one year old Marv began his life of partying, drinking briny seawater, and tango-ing with butterfly fish daily with his cousin, who was known as Shermy for short. One night, after a particularly heated session of dancing, Marv's leg simply fell off and hopped away, apparently beginning a life of crime and later amassing vast amounts of wealth.
Marv didn't care though, and his two remaining legs, along with his two beefy arms, stayed stronger than ever. He tangoed until the sun got tired of watching him tango (which was a very long time) and then he and Shermy decided to join the army in the fight against spatula abuse.
|Tags:||Art, Octopus, Juddaba|
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