Syntax Serenade



It was a calm and placid night. Not too antagonistic, not too suspicious, just... a night. Perfect for crime, and even better for justice. Too beautiful to be true, but not too true to be beautiful.



FML City was in full swing that night, in long-awaited celebration of a brand new update. As with every new update, this one was loaded with surprises, most invisible to the naked eye... Nonetheless, in the grand yet intriguingly ominous Shader Heights, a feast to make any program envious was about to begin.



And of course, what is a grandiose feast without grandiose guests? This party was attended by none other that the cream of the modding crop, the tip of the modding top, the real MVPs. Forgiano Modicelli, the true pioneer of the industry, headed the table. Without this ancient, though sometimes forgetful, mastermind, FML City would’ve never gotten off the ground. Flanking him was the young  and snotty superstar, Pixel Monica, and Tinker O’Construct, the overnight and overly humorous millionaire. Beside them resided Dr. Flan and Professor Teknik, academic powerhouses whose intelligence was never to be doubted.



But there was one seat left open, one that belonged to the most mysterious man in the realm. Lin K. Seyi, a shadow in the bright metropolitan lights, had yet to arrive to the table. He had been suspected of many a crime before, but never caught in the act, due to his ocean of minions that devoted their lives to him. If harm ever came his way, whether just or unjust, it was met with an impenetrable shield of raging naivete. His presence was not one to be missed.



After waiting for some minutes, the code began to grow cold, and Pixel Monica, not one to wait for anything, popped a question to the others:



“Is this creep coming or what? Ugh, I just wanna strangle anyone that makes me have to eat cold code... Hey Nei, could you go out there and check for him? I’m got places to be and servers to friend-zone. And make it snappy!”






While the butler was gone, the other guests began hypothesizing what had happened to him. Had he just been late to the party? Or had something gone fatally wrong? After some more minutes, Nei rushed into the room, panicked, and with a dab of blood on his .class file.



“Everyone, come quick! There’s pre-configured elements everywhere!”



The dinner guests, displeased that they were required to do something, slowly made their way to what would be the crime scene. They eyed Nei suspiciously, and he hurriedly explained what he saw:



“I just found him here, and there, and there, and... oh my, over there as well... Anyway, he’s clearly dead. I can’t tell what sort of wound it was, but it was clearly a forceful hit. What should we do?”



The scholars analyzed the situation, and remembered a comment that had been made earlier by Pixel Monica. They turned and gave her an accusing look. She responded out of fear:



“Uh-um... W-what if we called the Mods? Surely they m-might be able to h-help us?”



Suddenly, a mysterious voice echoed out of the darkness behind them.



“I don’t think that will be nece-”



“It was I! I killed him!” Forgiano waved his fist in the air wildly and laughed maniacally.



“... Gramps, you don’t even know who died. Nei, could you get a chair for this old man? Mysterious voice, please continue.” Pixel Monica flipped her hair impatiently.






“As I was saying, that will not be necessary. I am the great AZ, and I have wandered this Planet for 3,000 years, seeking any violators of the Prime Corrective. This... beast was the spawn of many an artificial program, and my Hammer of Justice takes great pleasure in ripping the roots out of the ground of this infernal practice. And now, I must depart from your presence, as I must face the flood of whiny messages I am destined to receive.” And with that, the mysterious being flew off, into the darkness, as magically as they had entered.



“I guess you could say he was modded in code blood!” Tinker piped up. The company laughed and returned to their feast (which had been warmed up during the conversation), resting comfortably in the fact that not one, but two crises had been averted. The world was a bit safer, and there was more food to go around.



A cry echoed from the depths of the earth. A horde of Level Ones raised their fists together in frustration.



“CHROOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOON!”