Hello! I am Derp Noobhouse. I might look like your average noob, but i am secretly a SUPERHERO!

At day, a regular derp. BUT AT NIGHT, a sleepy regular derp.

BUT AT THE NEXT DAY, SUPER DERP! Faster than a potato, stronger than a fish, can leap over a chicken WITHOUT fall damage, it's SUPER DERP!!!! here is how it ALL began...


*dramatic flash back*

CHAPTER ONE: The First Chapter

It was a beautiful sunny day, so i decided to go fishing. I got my old fishing rod from my dirt house, and went down to the bay.
Once I got to the bay, I sat down. I put some bait on my rod, and started fishing! after a while, i heard a group of people walking and talking, then one of them said, "hey, NOOB!" It was Avery Cool Guy, Avery is one of the coolest people in ALL of Craftsville (Craftsville is where I live by the way)! He always picks on noobs like me, he bullies people until they worship him, and he has barely ANY manners, we have the most BEAUTIFUL friendship!!! "What are you doing NOOB, FISHING?" It was pretty obvious i was fishing, nobody would just throw bait in the ocean for no reason (except uncle Gary, but let's not talk about him, this is MY story after all). "My gang and I are going to the mall to eat some YUMMY cake, you wanna come?" I just shook my head, he left, and I continued fishing.


CHAPTER TWO: Fishing day

It was getting late and i didn't catch ANY fish yet! Then i said to myself, "At Least it is a nice and sunny day!" But all of a sudden, it started RAINING and a THUNDER STORM CAME! I thought "HOLY MOLY THE CLOUDS ARE SHOOTING HOT CHEESE STICKS!" That was my first time witnessing thunder. While the thunder storm was happening, I caught a FISH! While I was trying to reel in the fish, the fish was struck by HOT CHEESE STICKS LIGHTNING! I guess it was SO surprised that it LEAPED into the air and pounced on me and BIT my face!

CHAPTER THREE: Getting Powers

After I was bitten by the fish, i fainted. When I woke up, it was nice and sunny again. I grabbed my fishing utilities and was going to head home, but I thought i was forgetting something. So I looked in the water to see if i dropped anything, and i saw my reflection. THE FISH WAS STILL ON MY FACE! I screamed and fainted again. When I woke up (AGAIN), I just grabbed my fishing utilities and headed home, I didn't want to faint again. When I arrived at my house, the door was open (well, i didn't HAVE a door, but I saw WEIRD footprints), I went inside, nobody was there, i went DOWNSTAIRS, and I found a lever, I was pretty sure my house didn't have a lever before. I flipped the switch, and out of nowhere, a door appeared. I opened the door and there was a LABORATORY! I saw a picture of a CUTE UNIBEAVER (Unibeavers are beavers with magical horns, they are kinda like unicorns), so I went in to get a closer look. While I was looking at the picture of the unibeaver, I was STABBED IN THE CHEST WITH A WOODEN SWORD, but I didn't feel anything. Then AN ANVIL FELL ON MY HEAD, but i didn't feel anything. Then I was SHOT IN THE BUTT CRACK WITH A BOW AND ARROW, but I didn't feel anything. While I was looking at the Unibeaver, not noticing that someone was trying to brutally murder me, someone behind me said, "WHY WON'T YOU DIE! THIS IS A SECRET LABORATORY, NO ONE IS ALLOWED!" I turned around, it was a villager who had derpy eyes. I told him that this was my house, and I started slapping his face with my fish that bit me. The fish was SUPER fast! The villager with derpy eyes was about to say something, but i didn't want to hear it, so I used the fish and concentrated REALLY hard to summon a unibeaver, but instead, i summoned a bunch of random potatoes and fish! "The mighty fish has powers!" said the villager with the derpy eyes surprisingly.

CHAPTER FOUR: A New Friend


The villager with derpy eyes said "I am Dr. Bryan Nood, please don't hurt me with your superpowers." He told me how he worked for a company called "Find Us And You Die" and his job was that he needed to find someone that would help them defeat some super villain. Nobody would help them in his home town, so he came here. But since the hotels around here cost too much, he just built a lab hidden in my house. "It seems the fish gave you powers, follow me." said Dr.Nood. I followed him, and we went in this room with weird science stuff. He got out an old box, and gave me a red mask and cape. "You will need these, your identity MUST be a secret." oH yEs!! a cApE aNd a mAsk wiLL keEP mY IdENTITY A SECRET!!! Can't believe he thinks a mask and a cape will keep my identity safe. But then again, I didn't notice a secret lab in my house for a week. ANYWAYS... After he gave me the mask and cape, he took out a needle, and took some DNA (or some science thing) from the mighty fish (that's what I call the fish that bit me now), then he was about to use the needle on me to get some of MY DNA! "NOOO!!! I HATE NEEDLES!! THEY HURT" I shouted."relax, it will only be for a little bit." Dr.Nood said calmly. After he got my DNA, he put some of the mighty fish's DNA in me, and put some of MY DNA in the mighty fish. "Now if you are not near your weapon, mighty fish, you can just use your powers to make it come to you, like Thor and his hammer!" Nood proudly said as if he saved 100 kids. After that we slept in our beds. The next day, he took me to his boss

CHAPTER FIVE: Find Us And You Die ( F.U.Y.D.)

Dr.Nood and I started walking to the F.U.Y.D. tower. We walked and walked and walked and walked and walked and walked and walked and walked and walked and walked and walked and walked and walked and walked and walked and walked and walked and walked and walked and walked and walked and walked and walked and walked and walked and walked and walked and walked and walked and walked and walked and walked and walked and walked and walked and walked and walked and walked and walked and walked and walked and walked and walked and walked and walked and walked and walked and walked and walked and walked UNTIL we FINALLY reached F.U.Y.D. tower. It felt like 5 DAYS, but it was actually just 5 minutes. We went inside the tower, I asked if we had to walk up the stairs, he said "Don't worry! We will take the elevator." But then we saw a sign near the elevator, it said the words of HORROR! "Elevator Out Of Order, Please Use Stairs." UGH!!! Dr.Nood's boss was at the TOP level, and there were 99 LEVELS!!! So Dr.Nood and I climbed and climbed and climbed and climbed and climbed and climbed and climbed and climbed and climbed and climbed and climbed and climbed and climbed and climbed and climbed and climbed and climbed and climbed and climbed and climbed and climbed and climbed and climbed and climbed and climbed and climbed and climbed and climbed and climbed and climbed and climbed and climbed and climbed and climbed and climbed and climbed and climbed and climbed and climbed and climbed and climbed and climbed and climbed and climbed and climbed UNTIL we reached level 99. We went in the boss's room. He and Dr.Nood started talking science stuff and big word nonsense, so i didn't really say anything. I saw that the boss had a name tag that said "Henry Smiley," but he didn't seem to smile AT ALL! Then I heard my name, it was my turn to talk.

CHAPTER SIX: The TALK

"Why don't you tell Mr.Smiley how you got your powers Derp." Nood said as if he was my DAD. "Well, I was fishing , then I caught a fish, it was struck by a hot cheese stick, then it bit me in the face, i fainted, and i got powers" I proudly spoken with a smile. Mr.Smiley just continued frowning and asked me if I wanted to join F.U.Y.D. "If you don't join, we will have to kill you." he stated with a frown. I didn't want to get killed, so I said yes. " Your first mission is to find and stop Dr.Pro." Smiley announced. I heard that Dr.Pro is an evil genius who wants to DESTROY every city and town that disliked him, which is every city and town. Craftsville is next. I was going to warn them that Dr.Pro would probably attack F.U.Y.D. tower because it is so big and easy to destroy. But before I could say a word, the tower started to fall.

CHAPTER SEVEN: Big Derp Fight PT.1

"Use your powers to super jump out of the window and stop Dr.Pro, don't worry about us!" stated Dr.Nood heroically. "Don't listen to him, PLEASE WORRY ABOUT US!" the frightened frowner shouted. I trusted Nood and jumped out of the window. I was expecting for the mighty fish to help me fly or something, but instead, i just fell all the way down screaming. But then i remembered that Nood said "super jump," not "fly." so I landed on my feet and jumped ALL THE WAY BACK UP (with no fall damage either)! It wasn't flying, but it was SOMETHING, so I super jumped towards Dr.Pro. I found Dr.Pro at the beach, and it looked like he was about to battle MY BEST FRIEND (Avery Cool Guy)! I was thinking that Avery would defeat Dr.Pro for me, but instead, Avery stubbed his toe on a rock and ran all the way home shouting "MOMMY!!!" It didn't look like Dr.Pro was actually strong, all he had was an iron sword, so i just summoned potatoes and fish and used my mighty fish to throw all the potatoes and fish at him. But then Dr.Pro turned his lab coat into a GIANT ROBOT! "what are you going to do NOW? your FOOD are no match for ME NOOB!"

CHAPTER SEVEN: Big Derp Fight PT.2

It was the end, he was going to step on me with his giant robot foot. But when all hope seemed lost, his robot stopped moving! "huh? what happened!?" the villain exclaimed. It seems like his robot ran out of fuel, which would make sense because he used it to destroy the other cities and towns. I just took him out of his robot, and used the mighty fish to slap him silly until he fainted, then I handed him to the cops. I was expecting a big and epic fight, but at least Craftsville is safe, FOR NOW...




And THAT is how I became a superhero! remember to comment, diamond, favourite, share and SUBSCRIBE!!!!!

part two: https://www.planetminecraft.com/blog/super-derp-s-stories-2-battle-of-the-derps/