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The Elder Tree (Rewrite!)

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Catsuite's Avatar Catsuite
Level 22 : Expert Pony
28
Sit and listen my child, to a tale of two valiant adventurers, who lived in the kingdom of Kestrel. This faraway kingdom was ruled by an evil lord, who went by the name of Eldyr. This man felt NO remorse. Any form of crime in his kingdom was punishable BY DEATH. For this very reason, our two heroes have had to evade his royal guards for many moons. These criminals were named Steve and Jake.

"Hurry!" Jake said in a hushed voice.
"I'm going as fast as possible!" Replied Steve
Steve and Jake had been burglarizing a house, and Jake heard the door begin to open. This was one of their more prestigious burglaries. They were robbing the Golem Master's house. This was the villager responsible for building the Iron Golems that protected the entire village. CLANK. CLANK. CLANK. The golems stormed into the house, and the Golem Master followed.
"FIND THEM!" He commanded.
Steve heard this and called out for Jake, but he was already gone. The door behind him slammed shut. 'Dang, he has a Sound-Activated lock on his door.' Thought Steve. As he paced around the room, Steve tripped over a rug, sending him flying towards the torch holder just in front of him. He hit the holder and it fell to the floor. Soon the entire room was ablaze. Just across the room there was an open window, the one that Jake had escaped through. Steve bolted across the room, and leaped out the window. He fell for what seemed like ages until landing on a market stall. He got up slowly, and saw a large group of golems lead by the Royal Guard. He began to run for it. He ran past market stalls, twisting and turning to try and avoid the villagers. As he ran past the crowds of worried mothers and angered fathers, He was being closely followed by the Royal Guard. Children had stopped playing their games to watch the chase. However, someone managed to jump in front of him, knocking him to the ground.
The Royal Guard ran up to him, and the commander Chato pulled him up. He took all stolen goods and weapons off of Steve, and dragged him off to the dungeons, to prepare for execution.
However, just before Steve was thrown into his cell, Chato seemed to have let go of him. Steve turned around to see that Jake had quietly taken out all of the guards, and dismantled the golems.
He took Steve and brought him to what Jake called "A special place". Steve soon found that this place was his childhood play-area. This play-area was called The Elder Tree. This massive tree housed a variety of Fairy species. Steve and Jake would always come to this spot to play when they were children. While the two were gawking at the massive tree, a man crept up behind them.
"I never die..." He muttered.
Steve and Jake spun around to see that Chato was still alive. They pulled out their swords, readying for Chato's first attack.
"You....fools... you think I would come unprepared?" Chato said
Chato pulled out a large greatsword, and swung hard at the both of them. They swiftly dodged this attack, and then swung at him in unison. He jumped up and kicked both their swords away from him. The swords flew towards Steve and Jake,and landed directly in their stomachs.....

What is that child? You want more? Why, there is nothing left to tell to you! You can see that our heroes have lost in battle! You are still trying to tell me that every story has to have a happy ending? Fine then! Come back tomorrow and I will have more for.




So ungreatful!
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1
04/19/2016 8:53 pm
Level 23 : Expert Taco
Meowmers_n_Buttz
Meowmers_n_Buttz's Avatar
Wiw! I love the cliff hanger!
I especially love the intro, and how it starts as someone telling you a story. Dis is great (>w<)
1
04/19/2016 9:04 pm
Level 22 : Expert Pony
Catsuite
Catsuite's Avatar
No need for all the love xD. I will admit this is better than the original, but I think I could have done just *this* much better.
1
04/20/2016 11:53 am
Level 23 : Expert Taco
Meowmers_n_Buttz
Meowmers_n_Buttz's Avatar
Btw, chu like Undertale?
I spot a Sans :3
1
04/20/2016 11:56 am
Level 22 : Expert Pony
Catsuite
Catsuite's Avatar
I love Undertale. I even have a Skele-ton of Sans' puns stored in the back of my mind
1
04/20/2016 3:25 pm
Level 23 : Expert Taco
Meowmers_n_Buttz
Meowmers_n_Buttz's Avatar
x3
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