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Why should the use of Emoticons and "fake" laughter be looked upon as GOOD things?
In a normal, real-life, conversation, a person goes through many voice, attitude, and posture changes. This can range from sarcasm, to fidgeting, to becoming defensive. These changes are VITAL to human interaction. Without them, we would have no idea how someone is feeling, or whether or not to take what they've said personally, seriously, or as a joke.
Online (without voice and video calling), however, we're unable to use our tones, posture, and attitude to give meaning to our words. So, how are we supposed to really communicate? If we tell a race joke, such as "What's the difference between a park bench, and a Mexican? - I dunno, what? - Only one of them can support a family of four," what does anyone have to go off of to tell if you're being a jerk, or if you're just using silly stereotypes to evoke conversation and good-spirited fun? You know you only mean it as a joke, and even though other people will understand it, as well, there will be some who won't.
(Not talking about the trolls, who just spam "omg ur racist" at everything, I'm talking about people who legitimately care)
The answer is simple. Nothing. They have absolutely nothing to go off of, and it's completely up to them to assume what your intentions were. Now, I don't know how most of you were taught, in middle school English, but the teachers here all had one saying, when referring to the word "assume," and over the years, I've heard many, many people use this phrase.
This holds true to all interaction. If you assume something about someone, whether you act on that assumption or not - Say you're assuming the coffee guy at StarBucks didn't wash his hands, because he was only in the bathroom for a short time - you're putting your own beliefs into a situation. You don't KNOW what went on in that bathroom, or even what he was doing in there. It could be he went to check on his Co-Worker, who had to run in a few minutes before you arrived, because he was getting sick. It could be that he went in there JUST to wash his hands. It could be that he thought he had to pee, didn't, washed his hands, and then came back out. The point is, you just don't know. This situation could play out many different ways, but for the sake of space, I'm only going to give two examples.
The confrontation:
After seeing this man walk out of the bathroom, and assuming he went and didn't wash up afterwards, you walk up to the counter and demand to see the manager.
Confused, the man asks why, to which you reply "I feel he should be aware of the fact that one of his employees isn't washing his hands after using the restroom."
"Who?" The man asks. "I was just in there, and no one but me has been out since you've gotten here."
"Well, there's your answer." You reply
Of course, from here, he's going to defend himself. You're upset with him, he's upset with you, you're making a huge scene over something that could have been avoided, just by simply putting yourself in his shoes, and looking at the GOOD things that could have happened, instead of the one BAD thing.
The "over-assumption":
After seeing this man walk out of the bathroom, and assuming he went and didn't wash up afterwards, you decide you don't want to eat/drink here, anymore, because if one of the employees isn't washing their hands, it's likely that none of them is.
While this doesn't directly affect anyone but yourself (you now have to find a new hangout, coffee/tea stop, etc..), it is a bit of a sad thing. You're not only assuming that this one man is bad, you're putting your assumption of him onto the other employees at this StarBucks. (and there are times when people will put it on the stores themselves, and never go to any of the chain again) These people have done nothing wrong, and you don't even know that this man has done anything wrong.
As the above examples suggest, assuming is a very ignorant thing to do, and isn't at all beneficial to communication. So, what are we to do? We haven't advanced far enough, technologically, to attach video and voice to every message sent everywhere via internet or text, so how are we to express ourselves?
That's where Emoticons come in. A simple smiley face and an "lol" can change the meaning of a message. It can turn a "You suck!" into "lol You suck! :)"
Now, of course, it also depends on who it's coming from. If someone you don't know sent you an "lol You suck! :)" you could be a bit confused. It could be meant as mocking. There's no tone, so there's still a bit of grey area, but that grey area has to be mushed out by actual conversation, or by context. You can't just assume the person means it in a hurtful way.
But let's look deeper into Emoticons. What do they mean? Well, for the most part, they're meant to replace tone, body language, and only sometimes facial expressions. Here's a little guide to common Emoticon purposes:
(And yes, I know not all of the names will be correct, I'm naming them based on what they do, because, believe it or not, there are people out there who have no idea what emotions really are.)
:) Smiley
Usually used to show happiness, contentment, or even a small bit of laughter. Is also used sarcastically, i.e; You suck. :)
;) Winky
Usually used suggestively. Is also used to emphasise or imply secretive conversation, or between friends as an "in-joke."
:P Tongue-out
Usually used to playfully mock. Is also used to flirt, or to suggest humour.
;P Winky tongue
Usually used as a way to be playfully suggestive. (Suggestive, but not serious.) Is also used as an "Oh, totally (but not really)" tone.
:D Big smiles
Usually used to show excitement, joyousness, and laughter. Is also used much like the smiley, "You suck :D"
;D Big winky smiles
Usually used to express mischevious behaviour. Is also used as a normal winky face.
._. .-.
Usually used as a mix of body language and tone. As if the person using them is saying "Whaaaaat?" or "Oh, god. What?" and either tilting their head or having big eyes - Also seen as 0.0, 0.o, O.O, o.o, O.o, and other variations.
_._ -.-
Usually used as tone .. Think "what the heck?" or "Jesus, did he really do that?"
:3=
This is a walrus.
:3 =3 =^.^=
These are cat faces.
<(^.^<)
This is one of many Kirby poses.
QK
This is a ninja.
030 O3O -3- _3_ .3.
In my opinion, these are either fish or duck faces.
The above are used to imply cutesy behaviour, usually only by people (Mostly young girls, but it's becoming more prevalent in guys, the closer we get to becoming gender-neutral about things) around the ages of 11-17, but sometimes becoming a huge habit, and staying with people through their 30's and early 40's. This habit almost always dies off, eventually.
As you can see, even these few Emoticons can make a big difference in how we read someone's messages, or how we view them. They very much play a part in communication (and I've not even gotten to the "lulz," yet), and should in no way be frowned upon, no matter how silly you think they are.
Now, to the "lulz"
Yes, yes, I know. It seems pretty trivial, to type "lol" or "ROFLMAO," when it's not really happening .. But, how else are we to suggest laughter? "hahaha?" Well, even that's being criticised, and who wants to read "hahaha" over and over again? As with Emoticons, there are many ways to express many things, and if we try to limit how we express ourselves, everything just starts to seem the same. Body language and tone and attitude vary GREATLY, from person to person, and it should be no different, when we're trying to describe our feelings via chat. Yes, I know, it can be hard to understand what each of these things means to each person you meet - But is it any less hard, trying to understand what a person's body language means? Or what tone they're taking? For some people, possibly. It could be much harder to understand text than body language. For others, like myself, understanding a person's feelings, whether through text or in real life is very easy. What we all need to understand, however, is that everyone is different, and you have to take time to get to know someone before you can truly and completely judge the meanings in anything they say or do - And without the use of Emoticons and "fake" laughter, there's absolutely no way to do that online.
In a normal, real-life, conversation, a person goes through many voice, attitude, and posture changes. This can range from sarcasm, to fidgeting, to becoming defensive. These changes are VITAL to human interaction. Without them, we would have no idea how someone is feeling, or whether or not to take what they've said personally, seriously, or as a joke.
Online (without voice and video calling), however, we're unable to use our tones, posture, and attitude to give meaning to our words. So, how are we supposed to really communicate? If we tell a race joke, such as "What's the difference between a park bench, and a Mexican? - I dunno, what? - Only one of them can support a family of four," what does anyone have to go off of to tell if you're being a jerk, or if you're just using silly stereotypes to evoke conversation and good-spirited fun? You know you only mean it as a joke, and even though other people will understand it, as well, there will be some who won't.
(Not talking about the trolls, who just spam "omg ur racist" at everything, I'm talking about people who legitimately care)
The answer is simple. Nothing. They have absolutely nothing to go off of, and it's completely up to them to assume what your intentions were. Now, I don't know how most of you were taught, in middle school English, but the teachers here all had one saying, when referring to the word "assume," and over the years, I've heard many, many people use this phrase.
This holds true to all interaction. If you assume something about someone, whether you act on that assumption or not - Say you're assuming the coffee guy at StarBucks didn't wash his hands, because he was only in the bathroom for a short time - you're putting your own beliefs into a situation. You don't KNOW what went on in that bathroom, or even what he was doing in there. It could be he went to check on his Co-Worker, who had to run in a few minutes before you arrived, because he was getting sick. It could be that he went in there JUST to wash his hands. It could be that he thought he had to pee, didn't, washed his hands, and then came back out. The point is, you just don't know. This situation could play out many different ways, but for the sake of space, I'm only going to give two examples.
The confrontation:
After seeing this man walk out of the bathroom, and assuming he went and didn't wash up afterwards, you walk up to the counter and demand to see the manager.
Confused, the man asks why, to which you reply "I feel he should be aware of the fact that one of his employees isn't washing his hands after using the restroom."
"Who?" The man asks. "I was just in there, and no one but me has been out since you've gotten here."
"Well, there's your answer." You reply
Of course, from here, he's going to defend himself. You're upset with him, he's upset with you, you're making a huge scene over something that could have been avoided, just by simply putting yourself in his shoes, and looking at the GOOD things that could have happened, instead of the one BAD thing.
The "over-assumption":
After seeing this man walk out of the bathroom, and assuming he went and didn't wash up afterwards, you decide you don't want to eat/drink here, anymore, because if one of the employees isn't washing their hands, it's likely that none of them is.
While this doesn't directly affect anyone but yourself (you now have to find a new hangout, coffee/tea stop, etc..), it is a bit of a sad thing. You're not only assuming that this one man is bad, you're putting your assumption of him onto the other employees at this StarBucks. (and there are times when people will put it on the stores themselves, and never go to any of the chain again) These people have done nothing wrong, and you don't even know that this man has done anything wrong.
As the above examples suggest, assuming is a very ignorant thing to do, and isn't at all beneficial to communication. So, what are we to do? We haven't advanced far enough, technologically, to attach video and voice to every message sent everywhere via internet or text, so how are we to express ourselves?
That's where Emoticons come in. A simple smiley face and an "lol" can change the meaning of a message. It can turn a "You suck!" into "lol You suck! :)"
Now, of course, it also depends on who it's coming from. If someone you don't know sent you an "lol You suck! :)" you could be a bit confused. It could be meant as mocking. There's no tone, so there's still a bit of grey area, but that grey area has to be mushed out by actual conversation, or by context. You can't just assume the person means it in a hurtful way.
But let's look deeper into Emoticons. What do they mean? Well, for the most part, they're meant to replace tone, body language, and only sometimes facial expressions. Here's a little guide to common Emoticon purposes:
(And yes, I know not all of the names will be correct, I'm naming them based on what they do, because, believe it or not, there are people out there who have no idea what emotions really are.)
:) Smiley
Usually used to show happiness, contentment, or even a small bit of laughter. Is also used sarcastically, i.e; You suck. :)
;) Winky
Usually used suggestively. Is also used to emphasise or imply secretive conversation, or between friends as an "in-joke."
:P Tongue-out
Usually used to playfully mock. Is also used to flirt, or to suggest humour.
;P Winky tongue
Usually used as a way to be playfully suggestive. (Suggestive, but not serious.) Is also used as an "Oh, totally (but not really)" tone.
:D Big smiles
Usually used to show excitement, joyousness, and laughter. Is also used much like the smiley, "You suck :D"
;D Big winky smiles
Usually used to express mischevious behaviour. Is also used as a normal winky face.
._. .-.
Usually used as a mix of body language and tone. As if the person using them is saying "Whaaaaat?" or "Oh, god. What?" and either tilting their head or having big eyes - Also seen as 0.0, 0.o, O.O, o.o, O.o, and other variations.
_._ -.-
Usually used as tone .. Think "what the heck?" or "Jesus, did he really do that?"
:3=
This is a walrus.
:3 =3 =^.^=
These are cat faces.
<(^.^<)
This is one of many Kirby poses.
QK
This is a ninja.
030 O3O -3- _3_ .3.
In my opinion, these are either fish or duck faces.
The above are used to imply cutesy behaviour, usually only by people (Mostly young girls, but it's becoming more prevalent in guys, the closer we get to becoming gender-neutral about things) around the ages of 11-17, but sometimes becoming a huge habit, and staying with people through their 30's and early 40's. This habit almost always dies off, eventually.
As you can see, even these few Emoticons can make a big difference in how we read someone's messages, or how we view them. They very much play a part in communication (and I've not even gotten to the "lulz," yet), and should in no way be frowned upon, no matter how silly you think they are.
Now, to the "lulz"
Yes, yes, I know. It seems pretty trivial, to type "lol" or "ROFLMAO," when it's not really happening .. But, how else are we to suggest laughter? "hahaha?" Well, even that's being criticised, and who wants to read "hahaha" over and over again? As with Emoticons, there are many ways to express many things, and if we try to limit how we express ourselves, everything just starts to seem the same. Body language and tone and attitude vary GREATLY, from person to person, and it should be no different, when we're trying to describe our feelings via chat. Yes, I know, it can be hard to understand what each of these things means to each person you meet - But is it any less hard, trying to understand what a person's body language means? Or what tone they're taking? For some people, possibly. It could be much harder to understand text than body language. For others, like myself, understanding a person's feelings, whether through text or in real life is very easy. What we all need to understand, however, is that everyone is different, and you have to take time to get to know someone before you can truly and completely judge the meanings in anything they say or do - And without the use of Emoticons and "fake" laughter, there's absolutely no way to do that online.
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lol
Perhaps your perplexity derives from the presumption that most members of the Minecraft community are somewhat... feeble at flourishing a social connection -- try not to be too discouraged over the matter, I'm sure things will turn out for the better.