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The Winning Parcel
A parcel came for me last year,
It came to me by boat,
And my parcel turned out to be,
A pretty, long-eared goat.

But though my goat is pretty,
She likes to shout and yell,
And today I regreat to say,
That sometimes she does smell.

I entered her last summer,
In a contest, just to see,
How well my goat could misbehave,
And the winner turned out to be:

Surprise, surprise, my goat,
My long-eared Nubian,
This year I tried again to enter, but,
They would not let her in.

A Chicken's Diet
Don't give your chickens onions,
It'll make 'em real sick,
Not a bite, not a much,
Nor a little lick!

"But what would happen if we did?"
You're probably wondering,
They'll sprain their ankle, snap their leg,
Or maybe break their wing.

Don't give your chickens onions,
By now you understand,
Go get your awful onions,
And throw them off your land!

Failed Limericks

Frank's Tank
There once was a strange boy named Frank,
Who drove a very large tank,
He hopped though the door,
Then drove to the shore,
And discovered that heavy things sank.

The Lawn Mower
There once was a young moose named Kite,
Who could eat a whole field overnight!
He was rented each day,
With $5 as pay,
And would eat your whole lawn out of sight!