uhm so hey I have another garbage post thing for y'all yayay

I've been writing a lot cuz yay creative writing also I'm a sad bean yayayyay woot woot

and I was wondering if anyone has any suggestions for a story (tbh I'm open to anything ayyay) *dances around*

so yeah also here have a story I wrote for a bible assignment (sorry it gets a lil religious at the end), which I'm thinking of converting into a sorta angsty romance wOOT (and possibly changing names whoops)

it kinda ends off weird cuz I was way over the page limit aHA but yeah ;o

>-< any advice is grEAT

I Am Beautiful

Idiot, ugly, fat, gross, useless. These five words played over and over in my head, drowning out all of my other thoughts. I looked at myself in the mirror. Am I beautiful now? I think to myself. I had straight A’s, wide blue eyes, voluminous jet black hair, and the perfect hourglass figure. Did you even care that I threw up my dinner to keep myself from gaining extra pounds that would make me “fat” again? Did you care when I dyed my hair so black that it stained the skin beneath and caused my once long and blonde hair to fall out? Did you care when I got so many surgeries to make my “ugly” face beautiful enough for you? Did you care about when I coughed blood into my bathroom sink because of the dental surgery I received to make my teeth perfectly straight? No, all you cared about was that I was beautiful to you now. Now you call me an attention seeker and boy crazy. I filmed YouTube videos to keep my mind off the horrible words you seared into my brain. I walked out into my room to continue the current video I had been filming.
“...See you later guys!” I finished cheerfully and turned off my video camera. I decided I would edit the video later considering I wanted to continue the short story I had been writing. I reached over my bed to pull my laptop from my knapsack, but a crumpled piece of paper caught my eye instead. I let the paper fall into my hand and smoothed it out on my black bedding. Scrawled out onto the paper were the words:
We meet tonight at the 7/11 off Gingham and Forthord, Marie Jane. Bring candy :)
Signed,
Julia M.
Julia had been my first friend when I first came to Miranda Hills High; she had always been there for me, even when Heather and her goons heckled me over my weight or appearance. Julia had always stuck up for me and told me it was ok to be me, but I let those girls’ words distort my mind and change me. I had always pushed away what Julia called me: beautiful, kind, strong, amazing, worth the world. I distanced myself from everyone and everything I loved, turning to YouTube and creative writing as my escape.
My parents grew restless as they watched their daughter slowly slip away from them. I had been slipping away since I was young, though they never realized it. My father was in the military and I constantly had to move towns, losing friendships and forcing myself to cope with the pain. I put on a fake smile which I have perfected over the years. Until I met Julia, I had never smiled genuinely; I had always pasted on this fake smile. Julia was a great friend, but I slipped away from her too, eventually. She always tried to get through to me, but I shut everyone out, even her. My first true friend was nothing more but a nuisance to me now.
Slowly but surely, I crumpled up the paper again and shoved it back into my knapsack, deciding that I would just sleep for the rest of the night. I fell into the usual deep, yet restless, sleep that I always endured. The next morning, I woke up to my mother shaking me. I groaned and rolled out of bed to get ready. I put on the outfit I had put out for myself earlier and quickly downed a banana. I knew that the banana I had just eaten wouldn’t stay in my system for much longer. I had heard that today a new kid would be attending MHS. The girls were gossiping about how he was some super religious rich kid, so I didn’t put much thought into it. Little did I know how much this boy would change my life.
I sat in my usual spot in the back of the room in the corner, away from the prying eyes of my tormentors. I never really payed attention in math class, considering I already knew all the concepts that were being taught by my teacher. I usually just doodled while he sat in the front of the class droning on monotonously. Today was different however, according to Mr. Finch. Today, we had the new student like the girls had specified. His name was Tyler Roxton, and he was the opposite of what I expected him to be.
He wasn't some posh boy who dominated over everyone he met. He was sweet, caring, and smart. He shone everywhere he went, especially when he talked about this one Christ figure. He talked to me as if I truly was the amazing person that Julia had once told me I was. He made me feel like I really belonged and deserved to be here. I had heard about God and Christ and all that, but I had never believed they really meant anything. Tyler talked about Christ as if he was his best friend and had known him forever. He told me about this Youth Group he attended at his local church, and at once I was intrigued. He invited me to join him on Sunday at this Youth Group, and I immediately agreed.
That Sunday I dressed in my cleanest and most chic clothes to go meet Tyler and his friends, Gale and Lori, at the local Starbucks. I never really ordered anything at Starbucks and just sat there as my new acquaintances conversed about an assignment due tomorrow. Gale was soft-spoken and the tallest person I had ever seen. Lori was the exact opposite, extremely social and loud. I also noticed that her hair was styled in a bright pink pixie cut that I thought Heather and her goons would ridicule. She had so much confidence and separated from the popular crowd. She was herself, and as we walked out to Gale’s car, I envied that self-confidence.
I had let myself fall away and become something I’m not. I had let myself succumb to the insults hurled at me by girls who, in reality, were self-conscious as well. They most likely had the same insecurities as the average teen, but took it out in the form of hatred and anger. They manipulate everyone around them to make up for the lack of self-worth that they feel. I pondered this for another moment, but as usual I pushed it away. We had finally arrived at the Youth Group, and I was showered with compliments about my appearance and my personality.
I was overwhelmed, but with a good feeling- a sort of euphoric feeling, as if I had found my place. The Youth Minister spoke of Christ’s compassion and how he loves us no matter what we look like. I had always looked for someone like Jesus Christ and knew that this was the right place for me. I felt important. I felt loved. I felt appreciated. I finally felt something I hadn’t felt in a long time, and I smiled as Tyler wrapped an arm around me. I felt beautiful. At that moment, I determined one fact about myself that no one could change- I am beautiful.