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Just My Luck (first minecraft story :D tell me what u think)

hcb800's Avatar hcb8005/20/12 1:05 pm
1 emeralds 149 7
5/20/2012 7:43 pm
hcb800's Avatar hcb800
The parts are posted whenever I feel like,so about once or twice a week.This is my first minecraft story ever so be sure to tell me what you think!I'd love some constructive criticism!-Hcb

Part One:Wait WHAT?!?!?!
I sit up slowly Owwwwww ,my head is killing me!I rub the sand from my eyes,wait.....SAND?! There wasn't any sand in my bedroom!Well there was once,but that was only because my little brother Jojo had decided to wake me up,yeah that wasn't pleasant.I stand up and almost fall over,part from my headache but mostly from shock,I'm on a beach,or more of a desert.There are cactuses all around me,and in the distance I think I can see a village.I shake sand from my hair, "When I get home Jojo is SO dead." I look around,totally confused now,deciding what to next seemed easy.I'm going to head for the village,maybe I can get directions back to my town from there or at least some food.So I head off,cursing under my breath as my bare feet slip on the sand and I fall on my butt.Standing up again I walk slowly,only slipping one more time,oh fine six more times. When I reach the village I stop in my tracks,there was no village.It must have been a mirage!I kick a rock and yell a few choice words that at home would've gotten me grounded for a month,at least.I turn and stomp off into the sand,heading for a dense forest I had seen earlier but had dismissed.I calm down as I walk through the trees,when I see something green behind a tree.Now this was just freaky!I stare at the green thing,it had black eyes and a frowning mouth and tentacles.I back away slowly,praying it didn't turn around.But of course I snapped a twig and it started to crawl towards me "Oh crap!"I run away and hear an explosion behind me, What the heck!Where am I? I stop,panting,and punch a tree.I admit I have a tiny bit of a temper.When I look up I realize I've punched a hole in the tree!"Ok what the heck now?" I mutter and pick up the wood.I look up, the sun is going down I DEFINITELY don't want to meet another green thing.I collect some more wood in my arms and manage to build a small shelter before the moon comes up.Rubbing two sticks together I make a small fire and wait out the night.
Posted by hcb800's Avatar
hcb800
Level 1 : New Crafter
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7

1
05/20/2012 7:43 pm
Level 1 : New Crafter
hcb800
hcb800's Avatar
I'm thinking about starting this over and using a much better plot, better structure,a better form of writing,and a better storyline.I admit compared to my other writing I haven't posted this looks like it was done by a kindergardener xD Sorry that it's so bad! Do any of you think I should start over?

Edit:I admit I somehow forgot about ANY kind of formatting.Don't know what happened there.
1
05/20/2012 6:25 pm
Level 24 : Expert Taco
Mrcreepercraft
Mrcreepercraft's Avatar
eh -.-
1
05/20/2012 6:32 pm
Level 1 : New Crafter
hcb800
hcb800's Avatar
Yeah I know it's not my best writing.I do better with more of a fantasy genre of writing and any kind of poems.Of course none of my other writings are posted here but I'm thinking of a doing some minecraft poems,which I promise would be better than this. Thanks for commenting anyway!
1
05/20/2012 1:17 pm
Level 26 : Expert Nerd
_avijake_
_avijake_'s Avatar
Cool story bro
1
05/20/2012 6:19 pm
Level 1 : New Crafter
hcb800
hcb800's Avatar
thanks!
1
05/20/2012 6:29 pm
Level 45 : Master Princess
vinyl-ripp
vinyl-ripp's Avatar
I think he was being sarcastic. You need to structure it better.
1
05/20/2012 6:33 pm
Level 1 : New Crafter
hcb800
hcb800's Avatar
Oh.And I know this isn't my usual type of writing like I said before I am better with fantasy and poems.Thanks for the criticism!
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