First, IGN means "in game name" which would be your login name. I understand looking at servers can be a bit hard, finding one that suits you and your style. But not to worry, you will find one you like.. The servers you see with the questions are often the ones you do not want to join because they are most often hosted by people who don't really care what goes on. The best servers will just let you join right there. The term "Griefing" refers to what some people buy minecraft for, griefing is when you purposely go and break/destroy someone else's creations, which on most servers will get you banned.

I hope i helped, If you have anymore questions feel free to ask!

Thanks for taking the time to read this,
papertazer