I'm busy since more as a month to organize a exhibition in real life and didn't realize that i haven't posted anything here, ooops. I posted yet a blog to explain this event...

so like
im scared of sleeping due to horrible nightmares
i take meds for it but i still sometimes have them
after some therapy work, whenever a nightmare comes so does a dragon. and the dragon swallows me. and spits me back into my bed. and i wake up.

Quite (un)funny how I've already cut out 2 entire chapters for a relatively interesting beginning and had to temporarily get rid of 2 characters for a better pacing. Just so you know, I had like, 5 chapters planned out. Now I only have 2 chapters worth of story and have to figure out how to move all the important stuff from the deleted scenes to next chapters (I do have a general plot, I'm talking about the chapters that were planned out fully).

At first my intention was to write a story in a rather simple way — just describing whatever the heck is happening and that's it. And here I am, trying to make the beginning engaging, wondering what POV to use, trying to write less straightforward and more pleasing, changing the story just so it blends with the writing, thinking about logic way more than I did before, cutting out scenes that feel unnatural...

I'm just writing a real book at this point instead of a little cringy fic. This takes far more time than I expected. I'll have such a hard time translating it into English...

Anyway, once again, I really hope it turns out good... ish, at least. If I ever feel confident with the written chapters, I'll post 'em. Right now though, I fear that I'll have to rewrite a lot, so that basically means no publishing until everything's finished.

No, I do not intend on making long wallposts everyday. I just had a lot of thoughts and stuff. Thanks to whoever cares to read all that.

До скорого, ай гесс.

momther day

for how long can jam have a pending release of results

Messing around with style a tad, opinions?

looking for some cool spawn/hub builds to get inspo from
if any of y'all know of a server with a cool spawn area
or if any of y'allalalalalllllllllllllllllllll build cool spawn areas or know someone who does
lmk let me know lmk

!!YAPPING WARNING!! !!ОГРОМНЫЙ МУЖИК В БРОНЕЖИЛЕТЕ!!

I'm done with music. For the rest of the month.

Turns out music addiction exists. Turns out it's bad. Wow. Who would've thought.

I listen to a lot of music, though. I listen to it for hours, all while spinning around my flat. I'm regularly trying to discover new songs. I memorize the lyrics. I decompose them. I translate them in my mind. I'm whispering them to myself the whole day.

The good thing is, I'm not really suffering as of right now. I don't have much trouble falling asleep and I still enjoy music as always.

But, yeah, I'm addicted. Having melodies and lyrics in your head at all times kinda sucks ass. Spending hours just listening to stuff also doesn't strike with me.

So, just for the sake of it, I won't be listening to music for the rest of the month, as I said. Just to see what happens (if happens at all)



Already having a hard time when hearing any melody playing. Instant reminder to mumble something.

Another annoying thing is... my characters. You see, a lot of organisations and characters from my universe were based on songs (either that, or I might've found fitting songs for some later on).

Pale Association? — When The Weak Go Marching In
Deuce Association? — Traffic Jam
Dante? — First Death
Lyra? — Through Me To You, DOKUZU

So, yeah. All the time I just have an urge to— to snap the sinew I want to get within you I want to scar the tissue butterfly and rectify you

To end the post, here are my favorites that you must listen to:

Mili — favorite Japanese band (favorite album: To Kill A Living Book)
Дайте танк (!) — favorite Russian band
Ferry — favorite vocaloid musician
Ado — favorite singer (shares the place with Mili's vocalist)

That's it. If you're reading this, you're probably insane (or genuinely interested in the topic ig)

My next objective is murdering "TikTok attention span" syndrome in me. Not once have I watched a TikTok, but YouTube's making me procrastinate so damn much. Skill issue tbh.

Аривидерчи ор смфн айдк

I usually don’t do spoilers like this, but there hasn’t been a new build for a long time. so here it is.

Hello world

I polished my popular (but old) Sultan Saladin skin!

👀 Be sure to have a second look at this old gem!


Man I am fresh out of skin ideas. Help, someone please give me ideas lol