Halloween again! It's already been a year since the last time you wasted hundreds of monies on candy, costumes, and confetti that you keep finding in odd places. Last year was fun, but this time you want to go all out with decorations. And not the silly, gaudy stuff, either. High quality decor! Maybe with a theme? Jack-o'-lanterns seem acceptable. 
          After purchasing dozens of plump pumpkins, you sit down to carve yourself a heckaton of jack-o'-lanterns. Your first few pumpkins turned out pretty sad-looking (and the first one probably isn't even fit for pie anymore), but eventually you get the hang of it and manage to pump out a small horde of spoopy punkins. You think you're all done when you notice your last pumpkin, a strangely large one compared to the others. Perfect, you think. I'll use this one for the main decoration! In no time, you've carved the spoopiest face of all on this prize pumpkin. After admiring your handiwork, you realize you have no idea what the heck you're actually going to do with all these lanterns. Do you even have candles? ...Nope. You gaze dumbly at your odd, lumpy collection of squash as you try to think of what to do with these pumkins.
          Suddenly, an idea comes to you! Why not a scarecrow, with the big pumpkin for a head? There's probably plenty of scarecrow stuff out in the old barn around back. Living on an old family farm has, like, one benefit! Not the WiFi though, that's crap. After a laborious afternoon, your porch and walkway are decorated with haybales, fluffy cotton webbing, and jack-o'-lanterns, waiting for their makeshift sock candles to be lit. Hmm. On second thought, burning most of your socks to illuminate your lanterns might not've been the best idea, but it's late and you have no idea where to get candles (Almost anywhere, dimwit). The centrepiece of your decorations looms over the GO AWAY mat near the front door, ready to terrorize small children. The last rays of the sun have dissapated, so you decide to turn in for the night. As you pass the scarecrow, you could swear you saw the head move ever so slightly, tracking your movements. Startled, you double take, and peer closely at the scarecrow. When nothing happens (as expected), you creep away to bed, slightly embarrassed you've been scared by your own creation.
          The next evening, the trick-or-treaters are just beginning to wander about. You hover near the front window waiting for the doorbell. A plump child, followed by a disinterested older sibling, toddles up to your door. Great, it's those Harper kids. Very annoying, and the older one egged your car last year. Oh well. You hop to the bowl of candy you've set aside for tricker-or-treaters and shuffle to the door as the bell rings. Before you can open it, a muffled scream sounds from the other side of the door. Did they just notice the scarecrow? you think. That's pretty sad. You swing open the door, ready to proffer your wares to greedy hands, when you realize your porch has painted itself red. What looks like blood has spattered across the entire porch, staining everything a deep cherry red. You groan, thinking it's a prank, that someone has splashed fake blood all over your porch. Hopefully it will wash off. There's no sign of the Harpers, and it's chilly out, so you turn to go back inside when the face of the scarecrow catches your eye. There is a thick red liquid trickling down from the pumpkin's crudely carved mouth. Unsettled, you take a closer look. and leap back as the scarecrow definitely, definitely, creaks and turns to look at you. A low moan, rising to a full-throated scream escapes your lips as the scarecrow reaches out to grab you, bringing you closer to it's cavernous mou- nom nom nom.