Allow me to tell you a tale of a very dark October 31st, that took place on Villa Rosa Avenue, in the suburbs of Vancouver. You're allowed to cry, and to scream as well (mostly because you're not in the same room as me). Be warned! (For all of you actually concerned, it's not scary, sorry for the spoiler if not concerned).




It Got Me!!!





“Where'd you find this thing?!” Dan asked his wife as he pulled a dinky dinosaur
costume out of a cardboard box.



“Oh that? Heh, Value Village sells everything.” she replied as she
prepared a massive glass bowl of candy that children would soon come
to the door begging for.



Dan looked back at the costume he was holding up by a couple fingers,
afraid that it would eat him or something. It was green, and all the
scaly/ spiky parts were glossy purple. Dan had forgotten about
Halloween, and forgot about his promise to take his 5-year-old son
and 7-year-old daughter trick-or-treating.



“Do I really have to wear this?”



“It's just for tonight, our kids really need you out there. They've been
waiting weeks for this, and besides, they're far to young to go out
alone.”



“...Fine, I'll do it. You better be here when I get back though.”




With a kiss on the cheek to his wife, he headed up the stairs to their
room and shoved the costume on, just thinking about how many pictures
would be taken of this. He glanced at their mirror and quickly turned
away, already mortified at wearing the thing.



He trudged back down the stairs, and, with a deep breath and a pause,
shouted “Alright kids, who's ready to trick-or-treat?!”



There was a fair amount of screaming as the kids charged out the door,
leaving him in their dust.




“Hey, wait!”



Dan ran out the door and looked down the street to see which way they
went. It was only 7:00, so not many other kids were out yet. Maybe
that was a good thing.




He saw them at the neighbours' house, already knocking on the door. He
joined them waiting for an answer, and they bounced in anticipation.
There was the sound of footsteps, then a click, then:



“Welco-”



“TRICK OR TREAT!!!”



The kids didn't wait for an answer, they just plunged into the huge bowl
that was waiting in the elderly woman's arms. Squeals of glee
emanated from its depths, and Dan gave a look that read “I'm
sorry!” to poor old Mrs. Heibner.



“Oh, it's ok, Dan, let your kids take all they want. It's good of you to
be doing this with your children. Do you suppose I could have a
picture of that fabulous get-up you have on?”



“...Yeah, sure...”



“Oh, you're such a dear. I'll be back in a moment”



Several houses, candy-dives, and funny pictures later, Dan's kids were still
full of energy and dragging him around the remaining homes in the
culdesac. He walked along behind them, when at one house his kids
swung the door open so fast and unexpectedly that it caught Dan in
the jaw, in a perfect KO.



****************



A pillow. A blanket. He was on someone's bed. Groggy, Dan stood up and
everything was blurry. His eyes cleared a bit, and he saw a dinosaur
in a mirror. No, there was a dinosaur, but it was... EATING HIM?! He
knocked the door off its hinges as he charged out of the bedroom
door. The inhabitants of the house looked on, quite startled, and his
kids poked their heads out of yet another candy bowl just in time to
see him run screaming from the house.



“IT GOT MEEEEEE!!!!!!! WHY!!!! OH GOSH WHY!!!!”



His head cleared about 5 minutes later, and after many apologies and
awkward explanations to police, he returned home with his kids at
about 11:00 that night. When he got home, his wife was waiting.



“Where the heck have you BEEN?!” The kids should have been in bed about...
3 hours ago!”



“...Sorry hon.”



“Sorry?! There were police! I was scared for you! I thought you died or
something. What happened out there?”



Dan mumbled a bit, then paused, considering what his next words would be.





“I... Um-uh, I... It's... it's kind of a long story...”