Well hello there. My name is Phillip. The fierce. Phillip the Fierce. Yes, I know Phillip isn't a very frightening name for a monster. But that's what my parents named me. And it's been downhill from there.

Actually, my life started out pretty well. I was a smart monster, I graduated monster school with a high GPA, and was assigned to the CPC (Creeper Population Control). I quite enjoyed that job. Creepers are delicious. In addition, I enjoy watching things blow up. So things were definitely going well. So well I put in a transfer to the CSH (Center for Scaring Humans). I was hoping to be stationed somewhere nice. Maybe a haunted house, or an abandoned factory... But no, it turns out that my name just isn't scary enough for a serious job. Oh, and they told me the one-eyed thing is overdone and cliche. Well sorry, that's just how I am!

So I try to go back to the CPC, but the transfer was already underway, and couldn't be cancelled. So I made it onto the CSH... assigned to the Closet Division. WORST. JOB. EVER. The kid is obnoxious and loud all day, so I can't even get enough sleep to be scary at night. And his closet smells bad. REALLY BAD. All his shoes are in here, and they smell like nasty human feet!

So I really would appreciate you guys giving me diamonds. I hope I can win this Monster contest. Maybe then I can prove that I've got what it takes, and get transfered somwhere better. Say, a graveyard, or a cave on the edge of town... anyplace would be better than this!