There is a beautiful place;
With meadows upon meadows of vibrantly colored flowers, with beautiful butterflies of many variety
There's emerald green trees, carrying nested rainbow pigmented birds;
The suns heat was almost tangible, graspable.
It looks Infinite, yet unreachable

There's a beautiful place, that I watch so closely;
From dreadfully far.
I watch from the place I am trapped in,
Where the flowers are wilting and are suffocating by thorn bushes
Where the butterflies relentlessly sting, simply being wasps with disguise
The birds sing, they may land on a branch once in a while, sing a song of encouragement, they sing, before the thorns hurt them too and they fly away on careless wings;
Back to the beautiful place, Where no harm can come to them.
The trees are dead, The thorn bushes surround them and grow on them.
The thorns pulling at the tree, Causing them to break bark and branches.

The birds visit once again, Songs of encouragement
Before retreating to their oasis
Flying over the gap, the abyss,
That I have yet to fill.

There is a dreadful place that I'm trapped in.

12/25/18 12:15 AM

The places aren't so different with time, parallels.
I find myself wondering,
Listenning to the birds' song,
The way to the beautiful place;
A way over that empty void, the merciless abyss.
I find myself staring so longingly it feels like the colors are stained to my eyes, even when I blink the image is ingrained, unchanged.
I know my goal, I know my starting end;
What needs to be found is the bridge, what I need to find to fill the gap,
Small, temporary things, the small things I enjoy give me a taste of what the beautiful place has to offer;
Though soon I have to return home, to the dreadful place,
I find myself feeling more dreadful than before, though with this sliver of crushed hope I believe more that I can find a way out, to solace.The more I enjoy the more solace I find, the bridge to the gap; My way across.
To love life, to enjoy it's gifts. I didn't enjoy or love the dreadful place at first, as it's painful and overall not a fun time;
Though the longer I went and the more I looked the more I found.
Things to busy myself with, things to enjoy. I no longer noticed the stinging or the thorns,
my wounds were sore though healing.
The bridge was being built, love being the key.
Love isn't just a gift one can give, but it's a way of seeing, of being.
I haven't learned to love all that I should;
I try, I keep trying.
I want to love, I want to enjoy. I wish for happiness though nothing will change without me being the change,
The bridge and key,
The enjoyment, love and happiness in my own life;
I hope that this beginning and this foundation I've given myself is enough to be able to love and enjoy life,
The journey that will take me from dread to beauty will be difficult,
Though so is loving, enjoying and forgiving.

2/3/2021 12:00 AM