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So recently I was playing on a minecraft server and a guy popped up giving the whole "Hi! I'm from planet minecraft!" schpeel. Instead of telling him to screw off as I normally would, I decided to drop him a line and mess around with him for a bit. This is the result.
Interview with a guy "From planetminecraft."
Person: Hi! I'm from planet minecraft!
Person: I need to conduct a test on this server to see if it's up to planetminecraft standards. I'll need OP for that.
Me: Oh yeah sure. Just a second. I need to ask a few questions to make sure that you're not a troll.
Person: Who are you?
Me: I'm the owner. I'm on an alternate account so it doesn't show.
Person: Ok. Could you give me OP now?
Me: Nope! I've gotta ask those questions first!
Person: Wouldn't it be easier if you just gave it to me?
Me: Silly billy! I can't do that. You're not swaggy enough.
Person: Swaggy?
Me: Y'know. The secret police and all that. They worship the great god of swag. Don't question it.
Person: Allright... about that OP.
Me: Oh right! First question: How many muffins have you eaten today?
Person: What does that have to do with minecraft?
Me: DON'T QUESTION THE PROCESS!
Person: Ummm sorry. I guess I haven't eaten any today.
Me: Oh thank swag. Trolls ALWAYS eat muffins. It's the first sign!
Me: Second question, do you worship the great god swag?
Person: No.
Me: SHUN THE NONBELIEVER! TOSS HIM IN THE VOLCANO OF DOOM!
Person: Wait wait wait!
Me: NONE CAN WAIT FOR THE NONBELIEVER! SHUN HIM!
Me: SHUN HIM!
Person: Sorry sorry! I thought that read sag not swag. Of course I worship him!
Me: Oh good. We'd have to toss you in the volcano for that!
Me: Third question, do you like waffles?
Person: Yes.
Me: Do you like pancakes?
Person: Yes... (I think he sees where this is going :P)
Me: How about French toast? Do you like that?
Person: Sure.
Me: DOO DOO DOO DOO CAN'T WAIT TO GET ENOUGHLES! YAY!
Person: Is that it?
Me: Nerp. There's one more very important question.
Person: Ok.
Me: What part of planetminecraft are you from?
Person: The blogging section.
Me: Oh great! You passed the test. Now you can get in the waiting line with the rest of the "Planet minecraft staff"
Me: /me winks
Person: I really am staff.
Me: Yeah, I know.
Me: /me winks
Person: Really!
Me: I know that! Why do you keep telling me?
Me: /me winks
Person: God [REDACTED] I CAN'T BELIEVE THIS [REDACTED]! THIS SERVER IS SO GETTING REMOVED FROM PLANTED MINECRAFT!
Me: No.
Me: Please.
Me: Don't.
(Person has gone offline)
Me: What an idiot.
And that's the story of how I made a random ten year old rage until he peed his pants. Maybe, I'm not really sure. I hope I'm right.
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We can't help you! We're not employers! And if you ARE from Planet Minecraft and check to see if the server meets your so- called "standards", the heck are you guys gonna do about it if the server doesn't meet your liking? Are you gonna caps me to death?
Person: HIDERE IM FROM PLANET MINECRAFT I OWN IT."
Me: OKAY, NOW WAIT IN THAT LINE OVER THERE. ;)
PERSON: OKAY.
*10 hours later*
PERSON: IM REMOVING THIS AND BANNING YOU FROM PLAN MINCERAFT.
Me: OKAY, DOES IT LOOK LIKE I GIVE A SHIT? NO.
*MarioZeldaFTW has banned ShigeruMinecraft(I DIDN"T FACKING KNOW?!)*