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Okay, so where to start? This takes HUGE inspiration from Whiteout-'s Mental Writing. This story is also based off of all the crazy people and events that I've encountered since I became active on PMC, so this story is going to be mentally weird.
Please Note:
The story will be updated over time, but it may take a while.
Dialogue has been italicized, so it's easier to identify.
Without further ado, let's begin the insanity...
Chapter 1: A Tale Of Avoidance
It was a warm summer night in a bright city, and cars whooshed down the road, one of them hitting a manhole in the process. And from that manhole came a dirty, minuscule rat, carrying an envelope with a bright green stamp. He scurried down the road and approached a tall apartment building. Leaving the letter on the ground, he climbed up to a panel full of doorbells and pressed one that was colored purple. From inside a purple apartment, a teenage boy, who was sitting by his fireplace, heard a ding that echoed throughout his entire home.
Avoidance jumped at the sound of his doorbell ringing. But wait, why was the doorbell ringing? No one ever contacted him because he was a depressed pessimist that dodged any chance of a real social interaction, therefore decreasing his chance of ever making any real friends. It's not like he wanted to hang out with people anyway. He would much rather sit by his purple fireplace and absorb its heat. People found it odd that he sat by a fireplace all day in the summer, but he couldn't help it. He was always cold...
When he arrived at his apartment door, he found a little rat that carried an envelope. It bowed at the sight of Avoidance and held the envelope as high in the air as its microscopic hands could. Avoidance cautiously took the envelope from the rat's paws and opened it, shocked at its contents.
Avoidance was unsure of how to respond to this situation. The last invitation he received was burned in his fireplace for warmth. He heard that the prom he was invited to, hosted by JadeFire170, was all fun and games. However, he also heard that a trident terrorist, who went by the name of dreamCritting, caused eighty percent of the prom's population to leave with tridents sticking from their limbs. But still, Jadefire170 had disappeared after the prom, never seen or heard from again. Avoidance didn't want the Rat Lord to suffer the same fate, so he finally made up his mind.
"Sure, why not?" He said, clearly bored from the thought of attending a party. And with that, the rat skittered back to the manhole with Avoidance following closely behind. Avoidance suddenly stopped as the rat jumped directly into the manhole and disappeared into the darkness. He pulled his hoodie strings to make the hood cover everything but his eyes before starting to climb down the manhole's ladder. "Looks like I'm getting dirty tonight."
After what felt like an hour of climbing, Avoidance reached the bottom of the sewer, jumping into the cold water below. "Ew, that's nasty," he said to himself. As he climbed out of the water, WbMystery's corpse floated through the water, causing Avoidance to scream like a little sissy and dash through the sewers until they started to look more like a corridor. He soon reached a humungous, crimson door with a golden Marley knocker. It screamed as he knocked on the door, followed by a creak as the door opened. Avoidance was shocked. Behind that door, it looked like the interior of a fancy restaurant. Rats were serving food to multiple tables. chhlo, CreeperKid_, syrupnx, Infernalviper11, PersonWhoPlaysMinecraft, AstroVulpix, and Sinus Productions were all being treated to a tasteful dining experience. However, everything was not as beautiful as it seemed. Towards the back of the restaurant, -Valery screamed as dozens of rats dragged him through a rusty door. Avoidance would have continued to watch the scene, but a young lady blocked his view with a scowl.
"Salutations, scrub," -Evie spoke with a look of utter disgust. "State thy business before the Rat Lord, or face the consequences." The rat from earlier, now sporting a crown on its head, climbed up on to -Evie's shoulder and stared at the boy.
"Uh, that rat gave me an invitation to this place... Here it is," Avoidance said, handing the letter off to -Evie. She gazed at it thoroughly before turning her attention back to the purple boy.
"Excellent, lad," she said with a smile. "And how shall the invitation be accepted?"
Avoidance went blank at those words. Gratitude? Enthusiasm? He didn't feel either one! Really, he didn't want to be there at all.
"Choose!" -Evie demanded impatiently.
"I don't know which one to pick! I don't even want to be here! Can I just go over to that corner of the sewer and live with the rats?" Avoidance shouted.
The Rat Lord turned his back on Avoidance, and -Evie grimaced. "Foolish boy, the Rat Lord is insulted by such repulsive words. Thou shall be sent to the dungeon! Guards!" A horde of rats grabbed Avoidance and dragged him towards the rusty door. He made no attempt to resist.
"It was fated to happen," he glumly stated.
"Twas," -Evie replied, "Now, off to the dungeon with you, maggot."
Everyone seemed shocked as Avoidance was dragged through the restaurant by his hair. Once the rats reached the rusty door, they worked together to open it and dragged the purple boy inside. As it closed behind them, not a single sound was heard...
Chapter 2: Waffle We Waiting For?
"Please, stop! This is torture! Torture, I say!" Avoidance pleaded as a rat minion stuffed a cream cheese bagel into his mouth. "Oh, woe is me. That's the twelfth one in the last hour. Can't I at least get some water?" In response to his request, another bagel was shoved into his mouth hole. "Mmmmm!"
"They're fattening you up, you know."
"What?" Avoidance looked to his left to see another person being hooked to a pair of ceiling chains. "Who the heck are you, and what the heck do you mean?"
The man chuckled, looking off to the side. "I know because the Rat Lord himself told me."
"He can talk?" Avoidance gaped.
"Indeed, and his voice is surprisingly deep for such miniature vermin." What a fancy, little sad sack." The man replied.
The sound of a door slamming echoed through the room, and -Evie entered, a furious expression on her face. "What does thou mean, insulting the almighty Rat Lord like that! You'd best watch your mouth, Pigman Defense Attorney. We'll stuff you and serve you out there faster than any prisoner in this dungeon!"
"Wait, all the food being served out there is made of prisoners? So that means those bagels... Oh, disgusting!" Avoidance yelled.
"Well, what did you expect?" -Evie asked. "We can't exactly afford food down here in the sewers.
"Well lucky for you, we're not going to stick around for dessert. You see, I have a trump card," PDA said.
"Oh, and what exactly would that be?"
"This!" CreeperKid_ yelled from behind, tossing a lingering potion of slowness onto -Evie.
"Nooo..." She yelled in slow-motion.
CreeperKid_ freed PDA, Avoidance, and all of the other prisoners in the Rat Lord's dungeon.
"I'm free! Freedom!" AdamsHeller yelled in excitement as he ran out the rusty door and jumped a table, knocking over a basket of prisoner-meat breadsticks. Rats stormed the room with tiny toothpicks in their claws. PDA grabbed onto CreeperKid_, who grabbed onto Avoidance. PDA threw an ender pearl threw a small crack in the wall, and in a flash, all three of them appeared in another dungeon, where a guy was chained to the walls.
"Took you long enough, guys. And who's the purple dude?" IHasFins questioned.
"Honestly, don't really know. Just saved him from being rat food. Now, let's get out of here. What are we waiting for?" PDA said, IHasFins and him running up a flight of stairs.
"Come on, we'll bust you out of here," CreeperKid_ said to Avoidance, gesturing him to join them up the stairs.
"Um, okay," Avoidance said with suspicion, "But fill me in with what's going on. I have no idea, and no one's telling me. This is all getting on my nerves! Why did I attend this stupid party?"
CreeperKid_ started, "Pigman Defense Attorney is king of the Pigmen, and IHasFins is king of the Atlanteans. IHasFins started a war with the Waffle Kingdom, but he lost, and the Waffle Lord had him thrown in jail. The Pigman Kingdom and the Atlantean Kingdom are allies, so Pigman Defense attorney came to his rescue, hiring me to assist. I went undercover in the Rat Lord's party because his dungeon is connected to the Waffle Kingdom's. They share a sewer rent, you see. We plan to bust him out and take advantage over the Waffle Kingdom. You got all that, buddy?"
The look on Avoidance's face was a perplexed one, indeed. Finally, he replied with...
At last, they reached the top of the stairs. IHasFins quieted everyone. "Okay, guys. We're going to have to to cross through the Waffle Kingdom to get back to Atlantis. It'll be difficult, but if we lay low, I know we'll be able to come back and get their-"
"Kick our what?" A voice asked as the door at the top of the stairs opened. Everyone snapped their necks in that direction of voice.
Dressed in her battle armor and her cape, there she stood. It was Whiteout-, the Waffle Lord herself. A smug grin appeared on her face as she leaned against the door. Behind her stood two cronies. RookiePlayer, her second in command, stood with his arms crossed and a hard expression. He cracked his knuckles and showed his teeth. To his side was RystaButAteASock, Whiteout's loyalest follower. She bounced up and down with an expression of excitement, clearly exhilarated by the oncoming conflict. They looked ready to unleash a massive butt whooping.
"What a pleasant surprise, IHasFins. Pigman Defense Attorney, so nice to see you as well. Tell me, what coaxes you both into leaving the comforts of my lovely dungeon?" Whiteout- said with a flattery tone.
"Oh, poop," Avoidance squeaked.
Chapter 3: You Reek Of Syrup
In a flash, Pigman Defense Attorney reached into his pocket and grabbed another ender pearl, only for it to be swatted away by Whiteout-'s sword.
"Not this time!" Whiteout growled, closing in the on the four prisoners. They slowly backed up as the waffle elites inched closer. IHasFins began to panic.
"Hold on a second, Whiteout-! This is all just a huge misunderstanding. Why don't we just sit down and talk this out like civil lead-"
"No!" She screamed, swinging her sword at him and taking off a few of his hairs. "I'm not here to negotiate with you, IHasFins! You started a war with my kingdom for no reason other than to tick me off, and you're gonna pay! Your Atlantean Kingdom, they're all gonna pay! Hehehe! HAHAHAHAHA!" She laughed maniacally, her mouth starting to foam.
Did she actually have rabies? Either way, Avoidance wasn't sticking around to find out. He attempted to make a run to the left, only to run right into CatUnicorn123's grasp. She hugged him like she was insane.
"Oh my god! Your purple skin is so cute! It really makes me want to hug you, and I mean a hug without mercy."
She hugged Avoidance so tightly that it made his face turn purple. Though no one could tell because he was already purple. But it didn't stop there. She started sniffing him the way a werewolf in a fan fiction would, and it really creeped him out. RookiePlayer grabbed PDA and CreeperKid_ in a headlock. They struggled to escape, but it was no use trying to resist the grip of the Waffle Commander.
"Now," Whiteout began, "I hang your neck over my toaster fireplace!" She yelled as she drew back her sword and prepared to behead IHasFins. Her sword an inch away from his throat, a resounding "Wait!" sounded in front go Whiteout-. CatUnicorn123 continued to sniff Avoidance even harder before dropping him on the ground with, causing him to land with a thud.
"Oof!" Avoidance grunted as he hit the ground.
CatUnicorn123 calmly walked over to Whiteout- and whispered something in incomprehensible in her ear. The Waffle Lord's expression became unreadable, and she moved her sword away from IHasFins. Dropping it on the ground, she made her away over to Avoidance and stood before him.
"Tell me, child," she started, "What did you eat for breakfast this morning? Answer incorrectly, and your fate is sealed at this moment. From what my Top Waffle just told me, you reek of syrup."
"Um, it was..." Avoidance stuttered.
"Well, I'm waiting," Whiteout- egged him on.
"He had pancakes!" CreeperKid_ interrupted. "I was with him this morning, and he ate a giant plate full of pancakes! I was just sitting at the table watching, and poof! They were gone in a flash. I even heard that he forked them until they bled syrup. That explains the smell!"
"Okay, enough! I get it, CreeperKid_! What the heck are you even doing here? You're supposed to be allegiant to the Waffle Kingdom!" Whiteout- said.
"I am," he replied, "I caught these troublemakers trying to escape prison and vandalize our kingdom, so I came over here to stop them."
"Lies!" PDA yelled accusingly. "He assisted in breaking IHasFins out of prison, and he's going to help overthrow your kingdom!"
"Dude, shut up! You'll ruin the plan!" IHasFins responded with anger.
"Both of you, shut up!" Whiteout- demanded. She turned her attention back to Avoidance. "Is what he says true, purple boy? Did you really eat pancakes for breakfast this morning?"
"Uh, yeah?" He lied with an awkward tone.
At that moment, Waffle Lord Whiteout- quickly grabbed Avoidance and squeezed him in a hug as hard as CatUnicorn's. He turned purple again, but it was unnoticeable because, unsurprisingly, he was still purple. She put him down and joyfully spun around.
"Yes, it's true! We really have found a new subject for our kingdom! Anyone who eats pancakes in such a violent fashion must hate them and, therefore, love waffles!" Whiteout came up and grasped Avoidance's shoulders. "Boy, have I got a treat for you! I'm going to give your a tour of my glorious Waffle Kingdom." She then turned around and looked at CreeperKid_, who was still smiling despite the fact he was in a headlock. "Eh, I guess you can come too. Though, this is like the fifth tour you're gonna receive."
RookiePlayer released CreeperKid_ and locked IHasFins in his place.
"Rookie, take the royal pains back to the dungeon, please," Whiteout- Instructed.
"Yes, Waffle Lord," he replied, dragging the arguing kings down the stairs once again.
"Forget the Waffle Kingdom, I'm gonna wreck your kingdom when I get out of here!" IHasFins yelled at PDA.
After they had barely disappeared into the darkness, Whiteout- grabbed Avoidance's hand and eagerly dragged him down the street. "Come on! You'll love this!" She insisted.
CreeperKid_ strutted behind, sneering to himself. "Oh, it's too easy to make people do whatever I want."
Chapter 4: My Utopia, Your Utopia
The Waffle Lord showed no interest in ceasing her foolish antics, continuing to eagerly drag Avoidance through the streets of her kingdom. Avoidance was rather surprised by her immense strength. Her grip remained firm, and he was pretty sure that if he face planted onto the road, she would continue to drag him until the concrete tore off all the skin on his face and revealed his skull. Citizens watched with curiosity as the duo passed by their gingerbread and pastry-like houses, and each one looked as if there was some kind of dangerous characteristic beneath their psychotic eyes.
A man named WaffleBear looked like he had just rolled out of bed, the wrong side of the bed. He looked ready to murder anyone who dared approach him.
A young girl named izzypro played catch with her little brother, Izzypros lil waffle. However, they played it with a knife rather than a regular ball. Were these people certifiably insane? Apparently so.
Another boy by the name of Yeliouw walked up and punched the little brother in arm, causing him to fall down and dramatically cry. Izzypro started swearing at the boy, and she held the knife out at him to defend her brother.
Avoidance was starting to become frightened by the strange townspeople. Would it have been a better idea for him confess that he had eaten waffles for breakfast that morning and not pancakes. Waffles were just his thing. He did waffles, Selfishness did bagels, Pessimism did french toast, and Resentment did pancakes. Wondering if his siblings even missed him, he couldn't help but lie in the moment. He was afraid of the terrible things the Waffle Lord would do to him, much worse than he had suffered at the hands of the Rat Lord. She had the characteristics of an axe murderer. Then again, maybe it would have been better for her to have ended his life at the top of that staircase. He had already felt like there was nothing worth living for before his invitation to the Rat Lord's party, and his death now would probably be even more gruesome. He was already attacked by rats, forced into a dungeon, stuffed with bagels until he was almost sick, kidnapped by a pair of kings, and threatened by an insane queen. Now, he was lying to survive, but he feared she would soon see through his flimsy fib. All of these experiences had traumatized him so much that he was beginning to wonder if he would become even more suicidal after this event, if he even survived. His stomach ached from the fluttering of butterflies. His brain was yanking its stem in an attempt to make him turn around. "You need to leave immediately! Get out, quick! You'll perish in the worst of ways in this death trap! Get. Out. NOW!" It begged him.
"Um, excuse me?" Avoidance started. "Where are you taking me? I don't think the people here care for me..."
Whiteout- turned around and flashed him a big grin. "Oh, you don't have to worry about them. That's just how everyone is in this kingdom. We all have a touch of insanity to us. And to answer your question, I'm taking you to my castle, so I can get one of my trusted warriors to give you the grand tour! The warriors know what they're doing! That little girl, who was playing catch with her brother, is actually another one of them!"
Kids could wield weapons in this kingdom? Everyone really was insane, but did he dare question the Waffle Lord's authority?
"So you're all mad here? Is this like Wonderland or something?" Avoidance asked.
CreeperKid_, who was still straggling behind, cringed at the statement and hid his face in shock.
Whiteout-'s face morphed into one of complete disgust. "Wonderland? Heck no! We're not mad here, dear child. We're MENTAL! There's a huge different. First of all, that fictional land you speak of has a cruel, angry leader. I'm nothing like that!"
Avoidance rolled his eyes.
"And besides that, this kingdom is a flawless utopia. My utopia, your utopia, CreeperKid's utopia, every citizen's utopia! This kingdom is heaven! This kingdom is perfect! This kingdom is our ultimate creation, which we've all poured our blood, sweat, and very existence into maintaining! We ARE the Waffle Kingdom!"
With an awkward face, Avoidance shrugged to present his confusion. He had no idea what she was rambling about. "What if I didn't want to live in this kingdom? I do have a family to get back to."
Whiteout- finally stopped and turned around to face the purple boy, her face equally as confused. Suddenly, she bursted out laughing and waved her hand in dismissal. "Oh, Avoidance. You really are one colorful character!"
"Not really. I'm just purple," he replied.
"That's not what I meant," she continued, wiping a tear from her eye, "Who wouldn't want to be a part the Waffle Kingdom? You've done us all a huge favor by vanquishing some of those scummy pancakes. You're clearly one of us! And this "family" you speak of is more than welcome to live here too if they're as amazing a person as you."
Avoidance looked down at the ground in guilt, but a loud screech caused him to look up in the sky. LugiaGal- flew through the air with jellyfishh riding on her back, carrying a spear. LugiaGal- released another mighty roar, and xShadowStarx made a battle cry of her own, pointing her spear in the air.
"Those are two of my trustworthy waffles," Whiteout- said, "They're off to ambush the Pancake Kingdom from the air, but they can never land on that kingdom's ground. Never! It does weird things to your brain, Avoidance, worse than the Atlantean or Pigman Kingdoms." she said with a look of intensity. "Now, we've arrived at my castle. Come over here, and I'll introduce you to another one of my trustworthy waffles. This one guards the castle from harm. Cool, right?" She said, gesturing to the castle guard,AstroVulpix.
"Greetings, my Waffle Lord. Are these two friends or foes?" AstroVulpix asked.
"They're cool. Just open the door already," she replied impatiently.
So much for her opinion on "cool" guards.
After their entrance was granted, the castle doors slowly opened, revealing a grand hallway with fifty foot ceilings, but this wasn't hat Avoidance was currently focused on. CreeperKid_ has been strangely quiet during this whole walk, only stopping to gasp at the Wonderland comment. Despite only knowing him for a couple of hours, it didn't seem like him at all to keep his mouth shut for so long. He face clearly showed unrest and confusion, but what was he thinking? Perhaps, he was as shocked by this situation as Avoidance was, but that didn't seem likely.
Avoidance's thoughts were cut short when a big, pink guy in a purple sweater pounced on him and locked him in a bear hug that was as tight as CatUnicorn's.
"You must have partied till you were purple! I love being purple!" @Lord Kevin shouted.
"Kevin, let him go!" Whiteout- yelled harshly!
Lord Kevin wiped a tear from face as he dropped Avoidance on the ground. "Fine! But he's my new best friend! I'll be back to make him mine forever!" He then ran away and started crying, tripping about five seconds in."
"New best friend? I just met him!" Avoidance thought.
"Okay, who is this "tour guide" going to be? Are they gonna point a sword at me? Headlock me? Hug me till I can't breathe? Stare at me with their sleep deprived face? Throw knives at me? Punch me? Scream? I'm ready for whatever garbage person this kingdom throws at me next! Bring it on!" He screamed, only to be punched in the face by Whiteout.
"Whiteout-, stop! You gave him a black eye!" CreeperKid_ shouted in defense.
"He had it coming!" She retaliated. "As much as he's done for the kingdom, I'm not gonna let him stand here and trash talk it and its citizens! And you may refer to me as Waffle Lord, unless you don't know your place!"
Both Avoidance and CreeperKid_ remained silent. Avoidance could only stand in horror as he touched his black eye, which stood out even on his purple skin.
"Good," she beamed, seemingly over Avoidance's outburst, "Now, I present to you, Avoidance. It's my one and only tour guide, chickenpants93!"
No one spoke a word. Chickenpants93, who stood in the castle's entrance, had his eyes locked onto CreeperKid_. CreeperKid_ returned the stare, not blinking once. Their faces both lacked all emotion. Did they know each other already? They had to with this awkward confrontation. Even Whiteout- was confused by their behavior.
"Jeez, CreeperKid_. I know you've already met Chickenpants on your previous four tours, but at least act excited for Avoidance, so he doesn't think the kingdom is a bore. Is that what you want? Is it? Huh?" She questioned.
CreeperKid_ said nothing. He only continued to stare.
"Whatever, I'm gonna go smash some stuff. Later, peeps," she said, walking away from her castle until she was out of sight.
After what seemed a minute, Chickenpants finally broke the silence. "Why don't you two come on in."
And enter they did, but Avoidance still continued to contemplate his reality. Once thing was for sure. He didn't want to be a part of this crazy kingdom, but he was being forced to anyway. He was a prisoner, a fugitive, and he was stuck under the iron grasp of the Waffle Lord. She had given a black eye, threatened to annihilate so many people in front of him, and it was possible that his bloodstained hoodie would be hanging as a flag before this was over, demonstrating to other citizens what would happen if they stepped out of line.
He looked back at daylight one last time, only to see a small glimpse before the palace doors slammed behind him. He was officially in the lion's den.
Please Note:
The story will be updated over time, but it may take a while.
Dialogue has been italicized, so it's easier to identify.
Without further ado, let's begin the insanity...
Chapter 1: A Tale Of Avoidance
It was a warm summer night in a bright city, and cars whooshed down the road, one of them hitting a manhole in the process. And from that manhole came a dirty, minuscule rat, carrying an envelope with a bright green stamp. He scurried down the road and approached a tall apartment building. Leaving the letter on the ground, he climbed up to a panel full of doorbells and pressed one that was colored purple. From inside a purple apartment, a teenage boy, who was sitting by his fireplace, heard a ding that echoed throughout his entire home.
Avoidance jumped at the sound of his doorbell ringing. But wait, why was the doorbell ringing? No one ever contacted him because he was a depressed pessimist that dodged any chance of a real social interaction, therefore decreasing his chance of ever making any real friends. It's not like he wanted to hang out with people anyway. He would much rather sit by his purple fireplace and absorb its heat. People found it odd that he sat by a fireplace all day in the summer, but he couldn't help it. He was always cold...
When he arrived at his apartment door, he found a little rat that carried an envelope. It bowed at the sight of Avoidance and held the envelope as high in the air as its microscopic hands could. Avoidance cautiously took the envelope from the rat's paws and opened it, shocked at its contents.
Avoidance was unsure of how to respond to this situation. The last invitation he received was burned in his fireplace for warmth. He heard that the prom he was invited to, hosted by JadeFire170, was all fun and games. However, he also heard that a trident terrorist, who went by the name of dreamCritting, caused eighty percent of the prom's population to leave with tridents sticking from their limbs. But still, Jadefire170 had disappeared after the prom, never seen or heard from again. Avoidance didn't want the Rat Lord to suffer the same fate, so he finally made up his mind.
"Sure, why not?" He said, clearly bored from the thought of attending a party. And with that, the rat skittered back to the manhole with Avoidance following closely behind. Avoidance suddenly stopped as the rat jumped directly into the manhole and disappeared into the darkness. He pulled his hoodie strings to make the hood cover everything but his eyes before starting to climb down the manhole's ladder. "Looks like I'm getting dirty tonight."
After what felt like an hour of climbing, Avoidance reached the bottom of the sewer, jumping into the cold water below. "Ew, that's nasty," he said to himself. As he climbed out of the water, WbMystery's corpse floated through the water, causing Avoidance to scream like a little sissy and dash through the sewers until they started to look more like a corridor. He soon reached a humungous, crimson door with a golden Marley knocker. It screamed as he knocked on the door, followed by a creak as the door opened. Avoidance was shocked. Behind that door, it looked like the interior of a fancy restaurant. Rats were serving food to multiple tables. chhlo, CreeperKid_, syrupnx, Infernalviper11, PersonWhoPlaysMinecraft, AstroVulpix, and Sinus Productions were all being treated to a tasteful dining experience. However, everything was not as beautiful as it seemed. Towards the back of the restaurant, -Valery screamed as dozens of rats dragged him through a rusty door. Avoidance would have continued to watch the scene, but a young lady blocked his view with a scowl.
"Salutations, scrub," -Evie spoke with a look of utter disgust. "State thy business before the Rat Lord, or face the consequences." The rat from earlier, now sporting a crown on its head, climbed up on to -Evie's shoulder and stared at the boy.
"Uh, that rat gave me an invitation to this place... Here it is," Avoidance said, handing the letter off to -Evie. She gazed at it thoroughly before turning her attention back to the purple boy.
"Excellent, lad," she said with a smile. "And how shall the invitation be accepted?"
Avoidance went blank at those words. Gratitude? Enthusiasm? He didn't feel either one! Really, he didn't want to be there at all.
"Choose!" -Evie demanded impatiently.
"I don't know which one to pick! I don't even want to be here! Can I just go over to that corner of the sewer and live with the rats?" Avoidance shouted.
The Rat Lord turned his back on Avoidance, and -Evie grimaced. "Foolish boy, the Rat Lord is insulted by such repulsive words. Thou shall be sent to the dungeon! Guards!" A horde of rats grabbed Avoidance and dragged him towards the rusty door. He made no attempt to resist.
"It was fated to happen," he glumly stated.
"Twas," -Evie replied, "Now, off to the dungeon with you, maggot."
Everyone seemed shocked as Avoidance was dragged through the restaurant by his hair. Once the rats reached the rusty door, they worked together to open it and dragged the purple boy inside. As it closed behind them, not a single sound was heard...
Chapter 2: Waffle We Waiting For?
"Please, stop! This is torture! Torture, I say!" Avoidance pleaded as a rat minion stuffed a cream cheese bagel into his mouth. "Oh, woe is me. That's the twelfth one in the last hour. Can't I at least get some water?" In response to his request, another bagel was shoved into his mouth hole. "Mmmmm!"
"They're fattening you up, you know."
"What?" Avoidance looked to his left to see another person being hooked to a pair of ceiling chains. "Who the heck are you, and what the heck do you mean?"
The man chuckled, looking off to the side. "I know because the Rat Lord himself told me."
"He can talk?" Avoidance gaped.
"Indeed, and his voice is surprisingly deep for such miniature vermin." What a fancy, little sad sack." The man replied.
The sound of a door slamming echoed through the room, and -Evie entered, a furious expression on her face. "What does thou mean, insulting the almighty Rat Lord like that! You'd best watch your mouth, Pigman Defense Attorney. We'll stuff you and serve you out there faster than any prisoner in this dungeon!"
"Wait, all the food being served out there is made of prisoners? So that means those bagels... Oh, disgusting!" Avoidance yelled.
"Well, what did you expect?" -Evie asked. "We can't exactly afford food down here in the sewers.
"Well lucky for you, we're not going to stick around for dessert. You see, I have a trump card," PDA said.
"Oh, and what exactly would that be?"
"This!" CreeperKid_ yelled from behind, tossing a lingering potion of slowness onto -Evie.
"Nooo..." She yelled in slow-motion.
CreeperKid_ freed PDA, Avoidance, and all of the other prisoners in the Rat Lord's dungeon.
"I'm free! Freedom!" AdamsHeller yelled in excitement as he ran out the rusty door and jumped a table, knocking over a basket of prisoner-meat breadsticks. Rats stormed the room with tiny toothpicks in their claws. PDA grabbed onto CreeperKid_, who grabbed onto Avoidance. PDA threw an ender pearl threw a small crack in the wall, and in a flash, all three of them appeared in another dungeon, where a guy was chained to the walls.
"Took you long enough, guys. And who's the purple dude?" IHasFins questioned.
"Honestly, don't really know. Just saved him from being rat food. Now, let's get out of here. What are we waiting for?" PDA said, IHasFins and him running up a flight of stairs.
"Come on, we'll bust you out of here," CreeperKid_ said to Avoidance, gesturing him to join them up the stairs.
"Um, okay," Avoidance said with suspicion, "But fill me in with what's going on. I have no idea, and no one's telling me. This is all getting on my nerves! Why did I attend this stupid party?"
CreeperKid_ started, "Pigman Defense Attorney is king of the Pigmen, and IHasFins is king of the Atlanteans. IHasFins started a war with the Waffle Kingdom, but he lost, and the Waffle Lord had him thrown in jail. The Pigman Kingdom and the Atlantean Kingdom are allies, so Pigman Defense attorney came to his rescue, hiring me to assist. I went undercover in the Rat Lord's party because his dungeon is connected to the Waffle Kingdom's. They share a sewer rent, you see. We plan to bust him out and take advantage over the Waffle Kingdom. You got all that, buddy?"
The look on Avoidance's face was a perplexed one, indeed. Finally, he replied with...
At last, they reached the top of the stairs. IHasFins quieted everyone. "Okay, guys. We're going to have to to cross through the Waffle Kingdom to get back to Atlantis. It'll be difficult, but if we lay low, I know we'll be able to come back and get their-"
"Kick our what?" A voice asked as the door at the top of the stairs opened. Everyone snapped their necks in that direction of voice.
Dressed in her battle armor and her cape, there she stood. It was Whiteout-, the Waffle Lord herself. A smug grin appeared on her face as she leaned against the door. Behind her stood two cronies. RookiePlayer, her second in command, stood with his arms crossed and a hard expression. He cracked his knuckles and showed his teeth. To his side was RystaButAteASock, Whiteout's loyalest follower. She bounced up and down with an expression of excitement, clearly exhilarated by the oncoming conflict. They looked ready to unleash a massive butt whooping.
"What a pleasant surprise, IHasFins. Pigman Defense Attorney, so nice to see you as well. Tell me, what coaxes you both into leaving the comforts of my lovely dungeon?" Whiteout- said with a flattery tone.
"Oh, poop," Avoidance squeaked.
Chapter 3: You Reek Of Syrup
In a flash, Pigman Defense Attorney reached into his pocket and grabbed another ender pearl, only for it to be swatted away by Whiteout-'s sword.
"Not this time!" Whiteout growled, closing in the on the four prisoners. They slowly backed up as the waffle elites inched closer. IHasFins began to panic.
"Hold on a second, Whiteout-! This is all just a huge misunderstanding. Why don't we just sit down and talk this out like civil lead-"
"No!" She screamed, swinging her sword at him and taking off a few of his hairs. "I'm not here to negotiate with you, IHasFins! You started a war with my kingdom for no reason other than to tick me off, and you're gonna pay! Your Atlantean Kingdom, they're all gonna pay! Hehehe! HAHAHAHAHA!" She laughed maniacally, her mouth starting to foam.
Did she actually have rabies? Either way, Avoidance wasn't sticking around to find out. He attempted to make a run to the left, only to run right into CatUnicorn123's grasp. She hugged him like she was insane.
"Oh my god! Your purple skin is so cute! It really makes me want to hug you, and I mean a hug without mercy."
She hugged Avoidance so tightly that it made his face turn purple. Though no one could tell because he was already purple. But it didn't stop there. She started sniffing him the way a werewolf in a fan fiction would, and it really creeped him out. RookiePlayer grabbed PDA and CreeperKid_ in a headlock. They struggled to escape, but it was no use trying to resist the grip of the Waffle Commander.
"Now," Whiteout began, "I hang your neck over my toaster fireplace!" She yelled as she drew back her sword and prepared to behead IHasFins. Her sword an inch away from his throat, a resounding "Wait!" sounded in front go Whiteout-. CatUnicorn123 continued to sniff Avoidance even harder before dropping him on the ground with, causing him to land with a thud.
"Oof!" Avoidance grunted as he hit the ground.
CatUnicorn123 calmly walked over to Whiteout- and whispered something in incomprehensible in her ear. The Waffle Lord's expression became unreadable, and she moved her sword away from IHasFins. Dropping it on the ground, she made her away over to Avoidance and stood before him.
"Tell me, child," she started, "What did you eat for breakfast this morning? Answer incorrectly, and your fate is sealed at this moment. From what my Top Waffle just told me, you reek of syrup."
"Um, it was..." Avoidance stuttered.
"Well, I'm waiting," Whiteout- egged him on.
"He had pancakes!" CreeperKid_ interrupted. "I was with him this morning, and he ate a giant plate full of pancakes! I was just sitting at the table watching, and poof! They were gone in a flash. I even heard that he forked them until they bled syrup. That explains the smell!"
"Okay, enough! I get it, CreeperKid_! What the heck are you even doing here? You're supposed to be allegiant to the Waffle Kingdom!" Whiteout- said.
"I am," he replied, "I caught these troublemakers trying to escape prison and vandalize our kingdom, so I came over here to stop them."
"Lies!" PDA yelled accusingly. "He assisted in breaking IHasFins out of prison, and he's going to help overthrow your kingdom!"
"Dude, shut up! You'll ruin the plan!" IHasFins responded with anger.
"Both of you, shut up!" Whiteout- demanded. She turned her attention back to Avoidance. "Is what he says true, purple boy? Did you really eat pancakes for breakfast this morning?"
"Uh, yeah?" He lied with an awkward tone.
At that moment, Waffle Lord Whiteout- quickly grabbed Avoidance and squeezed him in a hug as hard as CatUnicorn's. He turned purple again, but it was unnoticeable because, unsurprisingly, he was still purple. She put him down and joyfully spun around.
"Yes, it's true! We really have found a new subject for our kingdom! Anyone who eats pancakes in such a violent fashion must hate them and, therefore, love waffles!" Whiteout came up and grasped Avoidance's shoulders. "Boy, have I got a treat for you! I'm going to give your a tour of my glorious Waffle Kingdom." She then turned around and looked at CreeperKid_, who was still smiling despite the fact he was in a headlock. "Eh, I guess you can come too. Though, this is like the fifth tour you're gonna receive."
RookiePlayer released CreeperKid_ and locked IHasFins in his place.
"Rookie, take the royal pains back to the dungeon, please," Whiteout- Instructed.
"Yes, Waffle Lord," he replied, dragging the arguing kings down the stairs once again.
"Forget the Waffle Kingdom, I'm gonna wreck your kingdom when I get out of here!" IHasFins yelled at PDA.
After they had barely disappeared into the darkness, Whiteout- grabbed Avoidance's hand and eagerly dragged him down the street. "Come on! You'll love this!" She insisted.
CreeperKid_ strutted behind, sneering to himself. "Oh, it's too easy to make people do whatever I want."
Chapter 4: My Utopia, Your Utopia
The Waffle Lord showed no interest in ceasing her foolish antics, continuing to eagerly drag Avoidance through the streets of her kingdom. Avoidance was rather surprised by her immense strength. Her grip remained firm, and he was pretty sure that if he face planted onto the road, she would continue to drag him until the concrete tore off all the skin on his face and revealed his skull. Citizens watched with curiosity as the duo passed by their gingerbread and pastry-like houses, and each one looked as if there was some kind of dangerous characteristic beneath their psychotic eyes.
A man named WaffleBear looked like he had just rolled out of bed, the wrong side of the bed. He looked ready to murder anyone who dared approach him.
A young girl named izzypro played catch with her little brother, Izzypros lil waffle. However, they played it with a knife rather than a regular ball. Were these people certifiably insane? Apparently so.
Another boy by the name of Yeliouw walked up and punched the little brother in arm, causing him to fall down and dramatically cry. Izzypro started swearing at the boy, and she held the knife out at him to defend her brother.
Avoidance was starting to become frightened by the strange townspeople. Would it have been a better idea for him confess that he had eaten waffles for breakfast that morning and not pancakes. Waffles were just his thing. He did waffles, Selfishness did bagels, Pessimism did french toast, and Resentment did pancakes. Wondering if his siblings even missed him, he couldn't help but lie in the moment. He was afraid of the terrible things the Waffle Lord would do to him, much worse than he had suffered at the hands of the Rat Lord. She had the characteristics of an axe murderer. Then again, maybe it would have been better for her to have ended his life at the top of that staircase. He had already felt like there was nothing worth living for before his invitation to the Rat Lord's party, and his death now would probably be even more gruesome. He was already attacked by rats, forced into a dungeon, stuffed with bagels until he was almost sick, kidnapped by a pair of kings, and threatened by an insane queen. Now, he was lying to survive, but he feared she would soon see through his flimsy fib. All of these experiences had traumatized him so much that he was beginning to wonder if he would become even more suicidal after this event, if he even survived. His stomach ached from the fluttering of butterflies. His brain was yanking its stem in an attempt to make him turn around. "You need to leave immediately! Get out, quick! You'll perish in the worst of ways in this death trap! Get. Out. NOW!" It begged him.
"Um, excuse me?" Avoidance started. "Where are you taking me? I don't think the people here care for me..."
Whiteout- turned around and flashed him a big grin. "Oh, you don't have to worry about them. That's just how everyone is in this kingdom. We all have a touch of insanity to us. And to answer your question, I'm taking you to my castle, so I can get one of my trusted warriors to give you the grand tour! The warriors know what they're doing! That little girl, who was playing catch with her brother, is actually another one of them!"
Kids could wield weapons in this kingdom? Everyone really was insane, but did he dare question the Waffle Lord's authority?
"So you're all mad here? Is this like Wonderland or something?" Avoidance asked.
CreeperKid_, who was still straggling behind, cringed at the statement and hid his face in shock.
Whiteout-'s face morphed into one of complete disgust. "Wonderland? Heck no! We're not mad here, dear child. We're MENTAL! There's a huge different. First of all, that fictional land you speak of has a cruel, angry leader. I'm nothing like that!"
Avoidance rolled his eyes.
"And besides that, this kingdom is a flawless utopia. My utopia, your utopia, CreeperKid's utopia, every citizen's utopia! This kingdom is heaven! This kingdom is perfect! This kingdom is our ultimate creation, which we've all poured our blood, sweat, and very existence into maintaining! We ARE the Waffle Kingdom!"
With an awkward face, Avoidance shrugged to present his confusion. He had no idea what she was rambling about. "What if I didn't want to live in this kingdom? I do have a family to get back to."
Whiteout- finally stopped and turned around to face the purple boy, her face equally as confused. Suddenly, she bursted out laughing and waved her hand in dismissal. "Oh, Avoidance. You really are one colorful character!"
"Not really. I'm just purple," he replied.
"That's not what I meant," she continued, wiping a tear from her eye, "Who wouldn't want to be a part the Waffle Kingdom? You've done us all a huge favor by vanquishing some of those scummy pancakes. You're clearly one of us! And this "family" you speak of is more than welcome to live here too if they're as amazing a person as you."
Avoidance looked down at the ground in guilt, but a loud screech caused him to look up in the sky. LugiaGal- flew through the air with jellyfishh riding on her back, carrying a spear. LugiaGal- released another mighty roar, and xShadowStarx made a battle cry of her own, pointing her spear in the air.
"Those are two of my trustworthy waffles," Whiteout- said, "They're off to ambush the Pancake Kingdom from the air, but they can never land on that kingdom's ground. Never! It does weird things to your brain, Avoidance, worse than the Atlantean or Pigman Kingdoms." she said with a look of intensity. "Now, we've arrived at my castle. Come over here, and I'll introduce you to another one of my trustworthy waffles. This one guards the castle from harm. Cool, right?" She said, gesturing to the castle guard,AstroVulpix.
"Greetings, my Waffle Lord. Are these two friends or foes?" AstroVulpix asked.
"They're cool. Just open the door already," she replied impatiently.
So much for her opinion on "cool" guards.
After their entrance was granted, the castle doors slowly opened, revealing a grand hallway with fifty foot ceilings, but this wasn't hat Avoidance was currently focused on. CreeperKid_ has been strangely quiet during this whole walk, only stopping to gasp at the Wonderland comment. Despite only knowing him for a couple of hours, it didn't seem like him at all to keep his mouth shut for so long. He face clearly showed unrest and confusion, but what was he thinking? Perhaps, he was as shocked by this situation as Avoidance was, but that didn't seem likely.
Avoidance's thoughts were cut short when a big, pink guy in a purple sweater pounced on him and locked him in a bear hug that was as tight as CatUnicorn's.
"You must have partied till you were purple! I love being purple!" @Lord Kevin shouted.
"Kevin, let him go!" Whiteout- yelled harshly!
Lord Kevin wiped a tear from face as he dropped Avoidance on the ground. "Fine! But he's my new best friend! I'll be back to make him mine forever!" He then ran away and started crying, tripping about five seconds in."
"New best friend? I just met him!" Avoidance thought.
"Okay, who is this "tour guide" going to be? Are they gonna point a sword at me? Headlock me? Hug me till I can't breathe? Stare at me with their sleep deprived face? Throw knives at me? Punch me? Scream? I'm ready for whatever garbage person this kingdom throws at me next! Bring it on!" He screamed, only to be punched in the face by Whiteout.
"Whiteout-, stop! You gave him a black eye!" CreeperKid_ shouted in defense.
"He had it coming!" She retaliated. "As much as he's done for the kingdom, I'm not gonna let him stand here and trash talk it and its citizens! And you may refer to me as Waffle Lord, unless you don't know your place!"
Both Avoidance and CreeperKid_ remained silent. Avoidance could only stand in horror as he touched his black eye, which stood out even on his purple skin.
"Good," she beamed, seemingly over Avoidance's outburst, "Now, I present to you, Avoidance. It's my one and only tour guide, chickenpants93!"
No one spoke a word. Chickenpants93, who stood in the castle's entrance, had his eyes locked onto CreeperKid_. CreeperKid_ returned the stare, not blinking once. Their faces both lacked all emotion. Did they know each other already? They had to with this awkward confrontation. Even Whiteout- was confused by their behavior.
"Jeez, CreeperKid_. I know you've already met Chickenpants on your previous four tours, but at least act excited for Avoidance, so he doesn't think the kingdom is a bore. Is that what you want? Is it? Huh?" She questioned.
CreeperKid_ said nothing. He only continued to stare.
"Whatever, I'm gonna go smash some stuff. Later, peeps," she said, walking away from her castle until she was out of sight.
After what seemed a minute, Chickenpants finally broke the silence. "Why don't you two come on in."
And enter they did, but Avoidance still continued to contemplate his reality. Once thing was for sure. He didn't want to be a part of this crazy kingdom, but he was being forced to anyway. He was a prisoner, a fugitive, and he was stuck under the iron grasp of the Waffle Lord. She had given a black eye, threatened to annihilate so many people in front of him, and it was possible that his bloodstained hoodie would be hanging as a flag before this was over, demonstrating to other citizens what would happen if they stepped out of line.
He looked back at daylight one last time, only to see a small glimpse before the palace doors slammed behind him. He was officially in the lion's den.
Discontinued
I'm sorry, everyone. I've lost the motivation to continue working on this story. The kingdoms are dying off, and I get bored working on the same thing for a long time. I think I prefer shorter stories with different characters. Also, I've been feeling kind of down lately, mostly loneliness and worthlessness. I can't get myself in the mood to write anything humorous at the moment. When I feel better, I might make a short spinoff. But for now, I'd rather work on skins for the numerous contests I want to enter. I'm truly sorry to soulblqde, Creative_Kylee, and her sister OrangeJuicePizza for not including them in the story like I promised. I'm also sorry to chickenpants93 and CreeperKid_ for not letting the story continue enough to let their roles be revealed.
The Ending
Chicken and Creeper give Avoidance a tour of the entire Waffle Kingdom before going into a large auditorium to watch PersonWhoPlaysMinecraft make a performance onstage. During the performance, the fog machines activate, and no one can see. The Pancake Kingdom attacks during this time, and screaming can be heard throughout the kingdom. Chicken and Creeper use this opportunity to take Avoidance to their hideout deep under the Waffle Kingdom and reveal their true plan. The two of them are the resistance and loyal to neither kingdom, believing that they just cause pain to the subjects. Creeper was originally a waffle, so he acts more sassy, while Chicken was a pancake, so he's kind of a tech guy. They take Avoidance to their leader, PMCGrandma, and she reveals that the Waffle Kingdom drives people to insanity, and the Pancake Kingdom makes them too intelligent for their own good. The kingdoms are polar opposites, and have been at war for years. Entering either kingdom's domain will either make the person mental or intelligent, robbing them of their original identity. This is why the Waffle Lord was so strict about anyone entering the Pancake Kingdom. Grandma gives Avoidance some homemade cookies, and tells him to eat them. It turns out, cookies are an anti-breakfast food, so they'll prevent Avoidance from becoming part of either kingdom's domain. This is how Grandma, Creeper, and Chicken can travel from place to place. They devise a plan to end both kingdoms once and for all. If they feed the cookies to the Waffle and Pancake Lords, the curse will be broken, and everyone who's under the kingdoms' influence will be freed. They free IHasFins and Pigman Defense Attorney, and all of them have a confrontation with RystaButAteASock, who's the new commander because Rookie was killed in battle. After they convince her to let them by and save everyone, they catch Whiteout- and Pancake Lord off guard because they're battling each other, and feed them the cookies. Instead of gaining immunity to the kingdoms, they turn into their true forms, a regular waffle and a pancake The Rat Lord brings the two foods into his restaurant, where they'll eventually be eaten. Everyone is freed and confused as to why they're in the Kingdom in the first place. Avoidance, along with everyone else, says his goodbyes and returns home through the manhole which he originally descended from. He meets his siblings at home, who were actually worried about him, and he notices he's received a letter to a graduation ceremony. He decides that it would be best to only accept invitations from friends, and he makes plans to attend the graduation.
I'm sorry, everyone. I've lost the motivation to continue working on this story. The kingdoms are dying off, and I get bored working on the same thing for a long time. I think I prefer shorter stories with different characters. Also, I've been feeling kind of down lately, mostly loneliness and worthlessness. I can't get myself in the mood to write anything humorous at the moment. When I feel better, I might make a short spinoff. But for now, I'd rather work on skins for the numerous contests I want to enter. I'm truly sorry to soulblqde, Creative_Kylee, and her sister OrangeJuicePizza for not including them in the story like I promised. I'm also sorry to chickenpants93 and CreeperKid_ for not letting the story continue enough to let their roles be revealed.
The Ending
Chicken and Creeper give Avoidance a tour of the entire Waffle Kingdom before going into a large auditorium to watch PersonWhoPlaysMinecraft make a performance onstage. During the performance, the fog machines activate, and no one can see. The Pancake Kingdom attacks during this time, and screaming can be heard throughout the kingdom. Chicken and Creeper use this opportunity to take Avoidance to their hideout deep under the Waffle Kingdom and reveal their true plan. The two of them are the resistance and loyal to neither kingdom, believing that they just cause pain to the subjects. Creeper was originally a waffle, so he acts more sassy, while Chicken was a pancake, so he's kind of a tech guy. They take Avoidance to their leader, PMCGrandma, and she reveals that the Waffle Kingdom drives people to insanity, and the Pancake Kingdom makes them too intelligent for their own good. The kingdoms are polar opposites, and have been at war for years. Entering either kingdom's domain will either make the person mental or intelligent, robbing them of their original identity. This is why the Waffle Lord was so strict about anyone entering the Pancake Kingdom. Grandma gives Avoidance some homemade cookies, and tells him to eat them. It turns out, cookies are an anti-breakfast food, so they'll prevent Avoidance from becoming part of either kingdom's domain. This is how Grandma, Creeper, and Chicken can travel from place to place. They devise a plan to end both kingdoms once and for all. If they feed the cookies to the Waffle and Pancake Lords, the curse will be broken, and everyone who's under the kingdoms' influence will be freed. They free IHasFins and Pigman Defense Attorney, and all of them have a confrontation with RystaButAteASock, who's the new commander because Rookie was killed in battle. After they convince her to let them by and save everyone, they catch Whiteout- and Pancake Lord off guard because they're battling each other, and feed them the cookies. Instead of gaining immunity to the kingdoms, they turn into their true forms, a regular waffle and a pancake The Rat Lord brings the two foods into his restaurant, where they'll eventually be eaten. Everyone is freed and confused as to why they're in the Kingdom in the first place. Avoidance, along with everyone else, says his goodbyes and returns home through the manhole which he originally descended from. He meets his siblings at home, who were actually worried about him, and he notices he's received a letter to a graduation ceremony. He decides that it would be best to only accept invitations from friends, and he makes plans to attend the graduation.
| Credit | Whiteout- for inspiration, -Evie for the Rat Lord idea, CreeperKid_ for his role in the story. |
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tho I think I'm dead now
"Everyone died. The end." -Patrick Star
(I didn’t get a notification ;-;)
WbMystery please continue
Also remembering how many mental writing chapters I have missed
and your not lonely :)))))))))))))))))))))))))))))))))0
I know you decided to stop, but thanks, it means a lot XD
This is actually gonna help me a lot while working on PMCTale, I'm considering the kingdoms effects canon.