ok so it only happens on multiplayer worlds, but there is literarly nothing in the logs, even the crash report shows thats it supposedly only uses 1GB
paste.ee/p/rnCNVbut changing vm arguments to this:
-XX:+UseG1GC -Dsun.rmi.dgc.server.gcInterval=2147483646 -XX:+UnlockExperimentalVMOptions -XX:G1NewSizePercent=20 -XX:G1ReservePercent=20 -XX:MaxGCPauseMillis=50 -XX:G1HeapRegionSize=32M
reduced the amount of ram usage displayed in task manager, it still hit 100% tho and crashed the game