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Endless Fall - A Minecraft Story

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planetblox2000's Avatar planetblox2000
Retired Moderator
Level 42 : Master Mlem Mlem Bat
183
Hey, this is my entry for the Cubic League's story contest. That contest can be found here: www.planetminecraft.com/forums/minecraft-story-blog-contest-t469747.html

Without futher ado, here is the story.

Endless Fall




The entrance to the mine was gaping open, like the mouth of some great hungry beast, ready to devour anything in its path. The beginning of the cave was lit up with some sunlight, but I could see that further in, it was a dark abyss. It was pure silence where I was standing, except the soft patter of pig’s feet some 10 feet away.


My pickaxe was clutched tightly in my scratched and bruised hand. My clothes were ragged, I had fought tooth and nail to get here. This mine held more diamonds than anywhere else, the old legend says. And now I am here. My cosy home seemed very far away now. I checked my inventory; torches, swords and some food. I braced myself, and entered the darkness.


I could barely see. I took out my torch, and the area was lit. As I walked, my shadows danced on the solid grey walls. It was pure silence, apart from the small steps of my feet. I looked around the cave, and saw no valuable items, not even any coal. The only glint came off the parts of walls that had been smoothed down. Then, the ground suddenly got softer, and I could feel my feet sinking. Before I realised I was standing on sand, it was too late. The ground collapsed, and I dropped like a stone.


I landed in a pool of cold, icy water. I heaved myself up from the ground, and looked around. My torch had been extinguished. I couldn’t see anything, not even the walls or the ground. I was blind. I began to walk, feeling around to make sure I didn’t slip. I felt no wall and turned a corner. Right at the end I saw a light. I run, thinking it was the exit to this dreadful labyrinth.


I reached the light, and my heart sank as I looked inside. Lava. Then I heard steps behind me and turned around to a zombie running at me, teeth bared and it’s grey eyes rolling in the sockets. I quickly jumped out the way, and the zombie slipped and fell, screaming into the golden hell below me.


I retrieved my pickaxe and began to dig straight down. I mined down and down, and the only sound was the rhythmic breaking of blocks. Then, I broke a block and I plummeted down again. I landed on something cold. I could see the faint outlines of particles floating. I had hit bedrock. I climbed up, and felt around for my pickaxe. I grabbed it and began to walk.


I felt every stone on the wall, yet I could feel no diamonds. Every tale that I had heard had been a lie. This cave was barren of any valuable materials. “There must be a way out of this cavern.” I thought to myself, and gave up on my mission for diamonds. I turned back around, and began to walk back. Then, I stepped forward. I felt no block underneath by foot. Before I realised there was a bedrock block missing, it was too late.


I fell, and flailed around for some kind of ledge to grab onto. But there was no ledge. I realised I was in the void the dreaded abyss. I just fell and fell, hoping to hit the ground eventually, but in my heart and soul I knew I would be falling forever. I couldn’t see anything. This was true darkness.


After falling for a few minutes, I realised there was no going back. I took my sword out, and plunged it into my chest. At once I felt the life leaving me. Then, I relaxed and let Death take me for his own.

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1
05/12/2015 11:29 pm
Level 28 : Expert Unicorn
ChurbsPotato
ChurbsPotato's Avatar
Fabu-tastic 
11/10
1
02/18/2015 11:23 am
Level 29 : Expert Explorer
TheHipster
TheHipster's Avatar
Nice.

but you used "pure silence" twice and that too quickly. 
What I mean is, you could've used another word. Like "It was an empty silence" just an example.

Also, Harry Potter reference?
I relaxed and let Death take me for his own. 

I like how you described the cave, making it sound as if it was a monster, alive and hungry.
Good story, I enjoyed it.
1
02/14/2015 10:35 am
Level 16 : Journeyman Pixel Painter
OnyoWigglyPotato
OnyoWigglyPotato's Avatar
A nice use of vocab, pretty interesting read.
1
02/14/2015 10:40 am
Level 42 : Master Mlem Mlem Bat
planetblox2000
planetblox2000's Avatar
Thanks! Glad you enjoyed it!
1
02/14/2015 9:10 am
Level 22 : Expert Archer
theman0001234
theman0001234's Avatar
Great Story!
1
02/14/2015 10:40 am
Level 42 : Master Mlem Mlem Bat
planetblox2000
planetblox2000's Avatar
Thanks!
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