My name is Technoblade and I am the fastest skyblock player alive.

When you need someone to fix your sink, you call a plumber. When you need someone to fix your electricity, you call an electrician. And when you need someone to OVERTHROW A BRUTAL TYRANT, YOU CALL AN ANARCHIST!

Phil. Phil, I feel like I live, I feel like I live in a World Of Cardboard Phil. No matter how much I try to hold back, they just die. I just hit that person with a carrot– INSTANTLY OBLITERATED. They just INSTANTLY. I'm trying to hold back my power, it doesn't work! It's doesn't work! Even at 2% power, they just die instantly! What have I done??

The thing is, when you got 50,000 people, a few of them are gonna be serial killers. There's not really anything anyone can do about that. That's their problem. All you can do is say 'yo murder is cringe. don't– don't do murders' and hope that convinces them. And it's not gonna convince them, because these are not the type of people that listen to reason. The moral of the story here, is that if you see a murder being committed you should immediately call them a boomer. Don't do that, that's a terrible idea. Call the police. Anyways.

Now, I know what you're gonna say: "Technoblade, you monster! You really killed millions of your own kind just to make a sword?" And it– look, look, look, come on, you gotta understand. There was nothing else I could do, I was mildly inconvenienced!

Dude, these orphans are getting destroyed!

As we were celebrating 100 kills, we had no idea, that our next battle would be our last. The remaining players had all formed a massive cross-teaming alliance, with one shared goal: Taking us down, once and for all.
Was it allowed? Probably not, but it didn't matter. It was too late to stop them.
If we wanted to secure victory, we would have to win, 3 versus 21.

AY CARAMBA, ¿¡¿DÓNDE ESTÁ LA BIBLIOTECA?!?

I had to take a break from drowning to get a glass of water.

Of course I don’t suffer from hubris because hubris is a flaw, and I am perfect. Therefore, I don't have hubris.

Let’s play a relevant game, like Grinch Simulator.

Dante was cancelling things so fast people thought it was Twitter.

Bruhhhhhh.

Hippity hoppity, get off my property.

I’m having fun. I dropped out of college for this.

If you wish to defeat me, You must train for another 100 years.

Never say all your tactics in a youtube video, you fool, you moron.

WE WIN THESE!

I tried to raise my shield, but I accidentally sheared the ground, or whatever you call this mechanic. All I know is that I clearly did not take my ADHD medicine this morning, because I immediately become distracted and forget about the duel for about ten seconds, but then I remember "Oh, right, $100,000" and go in for the kill.

Btw this should be my 1,100 skin! But I still miss Technoblade. I hope whenever he is, he's having a blast out there. o7