Published May 1st, 2020, 5/1/20 4:31 pm
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152
rabbit-eared version
Warning: Very very dark comedy/parody.
Down in Alabama, March 12, 1987.
Harper Harrison, senior in high school.
Son of a man who runs a business making cattle ranch hats.
Daddy's brains were completely screwed up from the illegal chemicals he uses to make the leather working process smoother. Believes he is still living in 1979 and riddled with impulsive, violent tendencies.
Nurse lives in the Harrison household to care for the crazy man. She is tired all the time because that Harper's daddy is a total handful.
Harper has exhibited extremely anti-social behaviors. He makes his classmates uncomfortable.
Gets angry over minor inconveniences, fights while drinking underage, forced a cat into a ziploc for 17 minutes
He's screwed up just like his daddy
First thing daddy did when Harper came home drunk was to crudely grab a handful of his blond hair (very much unlike both his parent's dark brown hair) and yank.
”what’s with all this straw in your head? Why is there straw in your head? Why is it so friggin damn yellow??”
Harper tries to pry his grip off
“Let go, that hurts real bad!"
Harper Harrison, senior in high school.
Son of a man who runs a business making cattle ranch hats.
Daddy's brains were completely screwed up from the illegal chemicals he uses to make the leather working process smoother. Believes he is still living in 1979 and riddled with impulsive, violent tendencies.
Nurse lives in the Harrison household to care for the crazy man. She is tired all the time because that Harper's daddy is a total handful.
Harper has exhibited extremely anti-social behaviors. He makes his classmates uncomfortable.
Gets angry over minor inconveniences, fights while drinking underage, forced a cat into a ziploc for 17 minutes
He's screwed up just like his daddy
First thing daddy did when Harper came home drunk was to crudely grab a handful of his blond hair (very much unlike both his parent's dark brown hair) and yank.
”what’s with all this straw in your head? Why is there straw in your head? Why is it so friggin damn yellow??”
Harper tries to pry his grip off
“Let go, that hurts real bad!"
“Are you that damn mailman who slept with my wife?! You’re the mailman who slept with Martha!”
Harper is getting older, and staring to resemble his biological father. But that mailman died of a heart attack a decade ago.
"I'll kill you!"
Nurse wakes up from a nap, and tries to pry off daddy.
"That's your son, dipstick." she mutters
Daddy picks the nurse up by her collar, he drags her to the bathroom, shoves her head into the toilet.
Harper stands on the top of the stairs. Nurse comes back with wet hair.
She shoves Harper, he trips and falls down the stairs.
Daddy realizes Harper's not the mailman, he punches the nurse.
"I'm quitting." the nurse mutters after she wakes up from her knockout
Harper comes back to school with a bandage around his head and a cast. And a black eye because his daddy thought he was the mailman again.
Alex, the weird kid with a black walkman and blue hoodie sits next to him at lunch. He is obvious high.
"What's with your face, Harper? It looks sooooo darn swollen I swear I saw a hare sitting on this table."
"Eat me"
"You want any acid?" asks Alex
Harper grabs a handful of slimy, scorching hot corn and shoves it into the other guy's face.
Harper is getting older, and staring to resemble his biological father. But that mailman died of a heart attack a decade ago.
"I'll kill you!"
Nurse wakes up from a nap, and tries to pry off daddy.
"That's your son, dipstick." she mutters
Daddy picks the nurse up by her collar, he drags her to the bathroom, shoves her head into the toilet.
Harper stands on the top of the stairs. Nurse comes back with wet hair.
She shoves Harper, he trips and falls down the stairs.
Daddy realizes Harper's not the mailman, he punches the nurse.
"I'm quitting." the nurse mutters after she wakes up from her knockout
Harper comes back to school with a bandage around his head and a cast. And a black eye because his daddy thought he was the mailman again.
Alex, the weird kid with a black walkman and blue hoodie sits next to him at lunch. He is obvious high.
"What's with your face, Harper? It looks sooooo darn swollen I swear I saw a hare sitting on this table."
"Eat me"
"You want any acid?" asks Alex
Harper grabs a handful of slimy, scorching hot corn and shoves it into the other guy's face.
Gender | Male |
Format | Java |
Model | Alex |
Tags |
tools/tracking
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what-a-crazy-march
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