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So, you heard that consoles are crap and the glorious PC gaming master race is always looking for new members to its family. You decide that no matter what, you want to build a computer that'll let you pwn n00bs in Call of Duty with your eyes closed. Well, you're in luck. This blog's gonna teach you the ways of building a computer. Don't listen to that PC group that hangs around here. Those losers don't know what they're talking about. This is the end-all blog on how to build a beast gaming computer.
The CPU
Most people suggest different CPUs for different budgets, but we all know that most CPUs out there can run modern games just fine. You want to save money, right? So, get the cheapest CPU you can find. Celerons are usually the best. Not only are they cheap, but they don't use a lot of power so you'll save money on your electric bill, too!
The GPU
This is probably the most important part you need in a gaming computer. You want something that'll run four 4K monitors with Battlefield 4 stretched across all of them. Right now, the only GPU out there capable of this is none other than the GeForce 210. Think something that insanely powerful will cost a fortune? Think again--it recently dropped in price to around $35, which is a steal. Since they're so cheap, you should grab at least 3 of them and run them in SLI so you can get even more performance out of your new gaming powerhouse.
The RAM
It is well established that for most purposes, 8 GB of RAM is plenty for a gaming computer. Well, I am here to tell you that the established rule is a steaming pile of rotten potatoes. 8 GB of RAM is simply not enough if you want to get lots of FPS in games. You'll need Afootpluto's favorite amount of RAM--16 GB--to get the frames you want. People say they get 60 FPS in Battlefield 4? Well that's a shame; they could be getting 120 FPS if they had bought 16 GB of RAM. In fact, if you want more frames, you could get even more RAM--up to 32 GB in most Intel motherboards--to achieve even higher framerates. But, since most monitors only display 60 or 120 of those frames each second, getting more than 16 isn't always necessary.
Storage
Hard drives and SSDs are what you use to store your games, programs, and files. Hard drives are slower and larger than the blazing-fast, tiny SSDs, but they store a lot more for cheap. However, with all the cloud storage options available these days, who needs massive local storage? You can save all your games to the cloud! For the best performance for your money, just get the cheapest 64 GB SSD you can find. Store your OS on that, and install all your games to Dropbox, OneDrive, Google Drive, iCloud, or whatever you love to use. If you want to save even more money, you can put your OS in the cloud and skip local storage completely!
Case, PSU, and other Insignificant Parts
The rest of the parts in your computer aren't really important. Getting a good case isn't a priority these days, what with all those people using things from cardboard boxes to fish tanks to desks as cases for their beloved powerhouses of pwnage. Look around in your recycling bin for a good-sized box, and just tape your motherboard inside it. Make sure to use scotch tape though, so if you need to remove your motherboard for maintenance, it can be removed easily.
For the power supply, just get a cheap one with at least 500 Watts of power. Don't worry about power efficiency and poor customer reviews; the efficiency rating is just the man trying to get you to think you're saving the environment (when you're not), and the people who wrote those reviews are just clumsy fools who dropped their PSU packages when they got them from the UPS guy and blamed their broken PSU, fried computer, and burned-down house on the manufacturer.
Case fans? Pssh, who needs them? If you took my wise advice, you bought a Celeron, which uses so little power and puts out so little heat, it actually feels cold to the touch. Plus, cardboard breathes, so any ambient air current will cool your computer's insides.
Conclusion
I hope you enjoyed this blog on how to build a beast gaming computer the right way. i8's? Nah. R10 980X Ti's? Nope. People who suggest these things don't know what they're talking about and haven't been in the PC business for as long as I have. Take it from an expert.
(This blog is an entry to HariusAwesome44's Sarcastic Tutorial Contest)
Also,
The CPU
Most people suggest different CPUs for different budgets, but we all know that most CPUs out there can run modern games just fine. You want to save money, right? So, get the cheapest CPU you can find. Celerons are usually the best. Not only are they cheap, but they don't use a lot of power so you'll save money on your electric bill, too!
The GPU
This is probably the most important part you need in a gaming computer. You want something that'll run four 4K monitors with Battlefield 4 stretched across all of them. Right now, the only GPU out there capable of this is none other than the GeForce 210. Think something that insanely powerful will cost a fortune? Think again--it recently dropped in price to around $35, which is a steal. Since they're so cheap, you should grab at least 3 of them and run them in SLI so you can get even more performance out of your new gaming powerhouse.
The RAM
It is well established that for most purposes, 8 GB of RAM is plenty for a gaming computer. Well, I am here to tell you that the established rule is a steaming pile of rotten potatoes. 8 GB of RAM is simply not enough if you want to get lots of FPS in games. You'll need Afootpluto's favorite amount of RAM--16 GB--to get the frames you want. People say they get 60 FPS in Battlefield 4? Well that's a shame; they could be getting 120 FPS if they had bought 16 GB of RAM. In fact, if you want more frames, you could get even more RAM--up to 32 GB in most Intel motherboards--to achieve even higher framerates. But, since most monitors only display 60 or 120 of those frames each second, getting more than 16 isn't always necessary.
Storage
Hard drives and SSDs are what you use to store your games, programs, and files. Hard drives are slower and larger than the blazing-fast, tiny SSDs, but they store a lot more for cheap. However, with all the cloud storage options available these days, who needs massive local storage? You can save all your games to the cloud! For the best performance for your money, just get the cheapest 64 GB SSD you can find. Store your OS on that, and install all your games to Dropbox, OneDrive, Google Drive, iCloud, or whatever you love to use. If you want to save even more money, you can put your OS in the cloud and skip local storage completely!
Case, PSU, and other Insignificant Parts
The rest of the parts in your computer aren't really important. Getting a good case isn't a priority these days, what with all those people using things from cardboard boxes to fish tanks to desks as cases for their beloved powerhouses of pwnage. Look around in your recycling bin for a good-sized box, and just tape your motherboard inside it. Make sure to use scotch tape though, so if you need to remove your motherboard for maintenance, it can be removed easily.
For the power supply, just get a cheap one with at least 500 Watts of power. Don't worry about power efficiency and poor customer reviews; the efficiency rating is just the man trying to get you to think you're saving the environment (when you're not), and the people who wrote those reviews are just clumsy fools who dropped their PSU packages when they got them from the UPS guy and blamed their broken PSU, fried computer, and burned-down house on the manufacturer.
Case fans? Pssh, who needs them? If you took my wise advice, you bought a Celeron, which uses so little power and puts out so little heat, it actually feels cold to the touch. Plus, cardboard breathes, so any ambient air current will cool your computer's insides.
Conclusion
I hope you enjoyed this blog on how to build a beast gaming computer the right way. i8's? Nah. R10 980X Ti's? Nope. People who suggest these things don't know what they're talking about and haven't been in the PC business for as long as I have. Take it from an expert.
(This blog is an entry to HariusAwesome44's Sarcastic Tutorial Contest)
Also,
| Credit | Obama, Chuck Norris, Batman, The Academy, NASA, Bill O'Reilly, Afootpluto, UNSC, Rhett and Link, Michael Jackson, My Mama |
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Pretty good idea to skip out on the monitor. Then graphics don't matter, and you basically get 1,000 FPS.