I hate you're breath. It smells like putrescent potatoes that were left in the toilet of a fish cannery for to long.

I hate you're eyes. They look like worm infested wood with mud slobbered all over them. It reminds me of dead
squirrels for some reason.

I hate you're attitude. It makes me sick. Your positivity, utter forgiveness, its as fake as Michael Jacksons nose. Thats saying something.

I hate the way you talk. Because its you. It sounds like a chimpanzee being dragged up the motorway. That had rabies. And the plague. And was just shot with nerf gun loaded with explosives.

I think you're an idiot. When you talk about how you go to the animal shelter everyday to save poor homeless puppies on deaths row, I can tell your just talking bull feces (I held back there..). Your probably the one who shoots them, and puts them in plastic bags so they can float up the river. Unless you eat them. Thats why your breath smells so bad.

You're in love with Courtney. I bet you brainwashed her, threatened to shoot her, and locked her in a room full of rotting onions before she agreed to be your girlfriend.

Because I'm Jealous. I said it. Your so perfect, wonderful. Everything you do is so nice, and everybody loves you. You never mess up, you get straight As on every test, and you have an IPhone. I really want an IPhone. My nokia sucks.

(This isn't based on anything. Relax. I don't hate you, nor will I ever. I love you. Your my best friend)

This is still a work in progress, btw.

Thanks for all the (positive?) feedback! ;)

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