Communicating with family does not fall under any definition of "privacy rights." Privacy rights are in regards to privacy: browsing the internet without someone looking over your shoulder, showering in private, talking on the phone without people listening in (cough cough NSA cough).

That's a great idea, thank you for the suggestion. Your completely right

Squishy LemonI wake up and the only noise I hear is the humming that comes from the engine of the ship.
I know I’m not supposed to be awake now because nobody else is, but inevitably I still pull out my lap desk from under my bunk and swipe my shaky finger across the screen.
Nothing.
They must be locked, one of my first suspicions when I first arrived here.
They have strict policies upon being awake after curfew.
I set my lap desk back under my bunk and let my head rest in my pillow.
What time is it?
Late.
What is my family doing back home?
Probably sleeping.
Being here brings up many questions. I don’t know why, questions that are completely unnecessary like “How do you take a shower in space?” or “I wonder if this ship have a self-destruct button.”
As I said before, completely unnecessary.

My name is Arillius. I can’t tell you my last name because Commander Uuvig won’t let us.
‘For security measures’ He says.
On the bright side, at least we have privacy rights such as communicating with our families back home.
Before they didn’t even permit us to walk to the bathroom without a prefect on patrol.
And by now, from what I’ve said before, I hope you’ve concluded the place from where I’m taking note of all of this.
Space.

Is he breaking the fourth wall with "I can't tell you"? Also, I feel like you should take a more direct point. Sure, we know there's a kid in space... and, nothing else really. Once you get about 2-3 sentences in, you need something that really grabs the reader, like, if you said;
"I know I’m not supposed to be awake now because nobody else is, but inevitably I still pull out my lap desk from under my bunk and swipe my shaky finger across the screen. My whole body quivers as I hear the late-night patrol walk down the hallway; if they catch me, I don't know what punishments they're allowed to give out. The new laws enacted give them freedom to do anything they want around here."

Like that, maybe. Just my opinion, though, I have a certain writing style.

Avatar, yes. Edward Elric is one of my favorite anime characters.
Also. about the "why would you pull it out if you knew it was locked"
It's more of a hunch you have like "I really hope that the classroom door isn't locked so I can grab my lunch"

Btw, awesome thumbnail WritingIsFun

Thanks!

Squishy LemonI wake up and the only noise I hear is the humming that comes from the engine of the ship.
I know I’m not supposed to be awake now because nobody else is, but inevitably I still pull out my lap desk from under my bunk and swipe my shaky finger across the screen.
Nothing.
They must be locked, one of my first suspicions when I first arrived here.
They have strict policies upon being awake after curfew.
I set my lap desk back under my bunk and let my head rest in my pillow.
What time is it?
Late.
What is my family doing back home?
Probably sleeping.
Being here brings up many questions. I don’t know why, questions that are completely unnecessary like “How do you take a shower in space?” or “I wonder if this ship have a self-destruct button.”
As I said before, completely unnecessary.

My name is Arillius. I can’t tell you my last name because Commander Uuvig won’t let us.
‘For security measures’ He says.
On the bright side, at least we have privacy rights such as communicating with our families back home.
Before they didn’t even permit us to walk to the bathroom without a prefect on patrol.
And by now, from what I’ve said before, I hope you’ve concluded the place from where I’m taking note of all of this.
Space.

This is what I've got so far. Tips anyone? Good or bad? I'm not that great of a writer so hopefully it's not completely unremarkable horrible. Please give me some suggestions if you have any.

Nothing's really bad here, I like it.

xD "Hogwarts in Space" I could call it

tots do a harry potter sci-fi version

Great idea Also I made sure to change that "And by now, from what I’ve said before, I hope you’ve concluded the place from where I’m taking note of all of this.
Space."

its not bad however if you want it to be a lot better don't give away so much information in the story, you want to give hints to things going on that make the reader figure out information for themselves, and also I would change the fact that its locked for some reason that he wasn't awear of cuz it doesn't make much since for him to get up and check something he knows is locked, a more reasonable explanation imo is he woke up for some awkard reason and couldn't get to sleep so he went for his lap desk to write something in his diary and found out it was locked!! why? who was in his room and why would they lock his lapdesk then with a sudden chill moving slowly down his spine and shakey fingers he carefully placed the lapdesk back under his bed, being careful to place it in the same spot he removed it from,

Any ideas or comments?

Also, any plot ideas that DON'T sound like I'm ripping off Ender's Game?