I would like some feedback, I want to get into writing Minecraft stories and this is the first one.




Real-Life Day 1:

I wake up from my sleep I instantly get onto my computer and log into Minecraft, I start playing my single-player world. A few minutes go by and I realize I have made a noob mistake; I haven't lit up my house, I yell "#$@%" at the top of my lungs while I get attacked by 4 Creepers. I die then ragequit "Better go get something to eat," I said to myself. Right before my food gets done I pass out onto the floor.

Day 1:

I wake up wondering where am I, I feel sand between my toes and the smell of salt in the air. "Where am I" I though to myself, I finally realize that I was on a beach. I get up I realize my body is made out of squares and rectangles, "Uh Oh" I thought. I have always read stories and never believed them but now it has happened to me I have been imported into Minecraft. Once I figure this out I look into the sky it is noon. I quickly run to the nearest tree and start chopping as fast as I can, after a few minutes I have about 1 stack of wood by the time I am done it is almost sunset. I rush myself to make a pickaxe, axe, and find some stone. I couldn't find any coal to light up my house with torches, I start cooking the wood to make charcol, This should help me sustain myself until I found coal. It is finally night I am so tired and worn out that the grass feels so comforting, but I have trouble falling asleep because I hear the sounds of all the monsters but, eventually I dose of on the soft smooth grass.

Day 2:

I jolt awake from my sleep, I hoped it was just a dream but sadly it wasn't. I go out to collect wood, find food, and mine. Suddenly, about 5 pigs spawn right before my eyes "Sweet finding food will be easier," I thought to myself I swiftly slaughter the pigs and get rewarded with 20 pieces of uncooked pork, Good this should hold me for a bit. Now time to chop wood, I went to chop some wood after a few minutes I got about a 1 1/2 stacks of wooden planks. I start mining, after about 10-20 minutes of mining I found about 3 pockets of coal and 2 pockets of iron. Now I don't have to use these crappy stone tools, when it hits night time I have enough coal to last me a life time and about enough iron ore to make my self another sword, pickaxe, axe, and a full set of armor! This day was the best day so far in gathering resources but, I hope I can someday get out of this unforgiving game and live my normal life. When I get back to my excuse for a house (Made out of Wood deminsions are 5x6x5) I realize that I didnt get any sheep wool for a nice comfy bed, I guess this is on the To-Do List for tomorrow.

Day 3:

I start the day off by chopping my daily ammount of wood, which is about 2-3 stacks of wood it doesn't take me long till I finish and return back to my home. "I think I'm getting the hang of living in this unforgiving place," I say out loud. I run into the wild to find some sheep to make my bed, it takes me a while to find some and when I do I realize it is getting late so. I must make a makeshift house because I won't be able to make it back to my house in time. Once the house is half way done I see 2-3 lightning strikes in the distant but, it isn't raining. I run into the plains trying to find the source or where the lightning hit. I suddendly hear screaming, I briskly run over to the source of the screams I see three people standing next to each other. I run closer and start seeing playernames above each head they say "Mark, Jenny, and Natascha." Mark is a tall boy about the age of 13 he has brown hair and is wearing a yellow shirt and brown pants. Natascha is a average height girl with black hear down too her shoulders and she is wearing a red and black striped shirt with blue jeans. Jenny she is the most beautiful person I have ever seen, she has long flowing blonde hair that goes down to the middle of her upper arms, she is wearing a bright pink top and blue skirt. I run over and call out, "Hey over here come towards me!" They run as fast as possible towards me, I show them to my makeshift house and ask them how they got here. Mark said, "I was just playing my Minecraft until I attack by spiders, I suddently felt pressure on my chest and then blacked out."
Jenny said, "I was walking home, building my house in Minecraft PE until wind blew me down onto the sidewalk and I fell over the next thing I knew was that I appeared here and saw Mark and Natasha."
Natasha said, "I was just over at a friends house finding something to do until suddently I smell gas, I guess there was a gas leak some where. When the house exploded everone in about 2 feet radius got killed but I miraculously survive and then I pass out."
I ask, "If they knew one another they all say no in perfect unison." "Well you are safe if you stick with me!." I say. By morning we have to move back to my main house this is just a makeshift one because I wondered out too far. When they nod their heads I tell them to get some rest because we are going to make a big move tomorrow.

Day 4:

I stir awake then wake up the others. I tell them some of the many basic rules of Minecraft like, never dig directly up or down. We start traveling back to my house, I find out that Jenny is the more athletic one of the three keeping close to me while Mark and Natasha lag behind. Or maybe she just wants to stay close to me I'm not sure which one is it though. When we eventually get back to my home I command them to gather wood for our survival while I build more rooms for them. When everyone is done with their chores I make a table and everyone sits down to eat dinner. After dinner everyone retires to their respective rooms, every room has a chest, a furnace, a bed, and workbench. I start to hear everyone snoring, I slowly go to sleep but right before I close my eyes Jenny walks into the room and asked me about my life in the real world, will we be safe, and how long we will be stuck here. I tell her everything is going to be fine and just go back to bed. We all fall asleep.

Day 5:

I am the first one to awake from slumber, or so I though I see Mark awake bringing prokchops into the room. "Well someone is a morning person," I say to Mark. Mark responds, "Yeah I have kinda been a early bird." "Well thanks for getting more food for everyone," I say. "I'm going to go mining now, bye tell the others where I am ok?" I tell Mark. I reach my cave where I started mining originally, after a few minutes I am at about diamond level but this is about how far I shall mine today. I walk back into the house and I see what everyone has gotten today. Mark has about 20 pieces of leather and 10 pieces of steak, Jenny has 20 apples and about 32 logs, and Natasha has gotten.....Wait where is Natasha, I walk into Mark's room and asks him where she is. He responds with "I don't know," I walk into Jenny's room and ask her, I get the same response. "I tell everyone that we have to look for her," I screamed. We split up into 3 different directions, I hear humming I slowly walk towards it and I see Natasha I am about to yell out her name, a $*#&ing creeper appears and blows her into smitherines. "#$)*," I yell at the top of my lungs. It is night time now I start making my way back to the house, I have to slice up 2 skeletons and 5 zombies. Once I get back home both Mark and Jenny say' "We couldn't find her." I tell them, "I found her but, wasn't quick enough she died by one those green things called creepers." They both stare at me and I see Jenny start crying. I tell both of them go to bed I'm going to make a burial for Natascha. Once the grave is complete we have a burial service for her, when we are about to finish we hear Natascha's voice. We all turn around to look at her we stare in awe, We all say in unison, "How are you still alive?" Natascha responds, "I don't know after I died I reappeared in a different area but luckly I saw some torches and followed them, that's how I found my way back." We all go inside and go rest for the night we don't go to the table to sit down and eat. We all peacefully fall asleep.

Day 6:

I decide to sleep-in today but, it was a mistake I wake up with Jenny staring into my face (I think she likes me or somthing). I ask, "Why are you staring at me?" She responded, "I thought you were dead, you and Mark are always the first ones awake." "Well I am perfectly alive, just sleeping-in," I say. Jenny leaves my room so I can get dressed. When I exit my room I smell breakfast, seems like Natascha is a cook. I see Natascha cooking, Mark eating, and Jenny sitting down near an empty chair. She signals me to sit next to her, when I sit down Mark says, "There you are sleepy-head." "Yeah, I decided to sleep-in today because the last few days have been kinda of hectich.," I say. When I start to eat breakfast, Natascha sits down and starts talking to Mark. Jenny whipers, "I think Natascha likes Mark or something." "Yeah I'm pretty sure you are right," I respond. She scoots closer to me and her soft lips touch my ear, she softly whispers to me, "I kinda like you too." I back away and tell her, "Not now later meet me out on the roof after dinner." When breakfast is over we all walk outside and look into the valley, I break the scilence by saying, "We should build a mansion and move out of this house." Every shakes their head agreeing with me. Everyone gets to chopping wood but Mark and I. Mark go gets food while I go mining, after 30 long minutes I found about 20 diamonds! When I get back I hear skeletons firing arrows and hear Jenny and Natascha screaming. Rage shoots through my body I charge at the skeletons pull out my iron sword and crouch right as an arrow flies over my head and sweep one of the skeletons making him land on the ground. I jump up and shove my sword so far into his skull I have to wipe off dirt when I pull it up. The other skeleton turns around and shoots me in the arm, I run towards him blood starts pouring out of my body I don't fell any pain. I stab the skeleton repeatedly until it becomes dust, I drop and fall, in front of Jenny and Natascha. I see a glimpse of Jenny crying right as I pass out.

Real-Life Day 2:

I get up quickly, I'm in my bed. "I guess that was all a dream," I thought to myself. I try lifting my arm I wince in pain, I look at my forearm there is a big wound. I slowly get out of bed, walk to my older brother's room. It's just me and him ever since out parents died in a car crash that faithful day. Right as I enter the room he turns and looks at me, He says, "Thank goodness you are ok, I was worried you died." I said, "I've just had the weirdest dream, I thought I was imported into Minecraft and I met 3 people named Mark, Jenny, and Natascha." Right as I finish my sentence I drop and I hear my brother scream while he gets up from his chair and runs to my now limp body.

Day 7:

My eyes open, "Where am I." I thought. I feel dirt all around me, I start digging up, after a bit I finally get to the surface. I am in front of our house, I stand up and turn around. I am standing in a grave for me, I get out of the hole I am standing in and wipe of the hard crusted dirt. I walk inside our home, their is no one inside. Once I get closer to my room I start to hear crying, I walk straight into my room and I see Jenny laying on my beed holding my pillow in her arms. By the look of her face it seems she has been crying for more than 1 day. I slowly walk towards her, she is crying so loud she doesnt't her me sit down next to her. I gently wrap my arm around her, she turns to look at my face. She quickly hugs me, her head resting ontop of my chest. Jenny says inbetween tears, "I thought you would come back but you didn't, we had a burial service for you." I ask, "How long have I been, you know "dead"." Jenny looks at my face and says, "3 days." I hug her tightly, and whisper in her ear, "I will never leave this place without you." I help Jenny get up and calm herself down, she takes my hand and puts it in hers and we walk outside. Mark and Natascha are on a beach holding hands too, they are staring at the sunrise. Jenny and I walk quietly behind them and I surprise them, they both jump when they hear the sound of my voice. Mark and Natascha both get up and hug me, they both say, "I thought you were dead." I said, "I guess I was but, when I died I got back into the real world saw my brother then passed out." That day nothing gets done, I guess everyone is happy that I am still alive. The rest of the day we sit down and I ask them what they have been doing for the past three days. Jenny says, "The day you died I was mourning for you, I couldn't think of doing anything without seeing your face again." Mark says, "I took the role of leader when you left us but, Natascha and I were only gathering food and wood, we never left sight of your grave." Natascha shakes her head in agreement. We talk and talk for hours on end, when it hits nightfall we eat dinner made by Natascha and go to our rooms. When I am just about to fall asleep Jenny sneaks into my room and gets into my bed with me. I stay still so she doesn't find out I am still awake. We both go to bed with smiles on our faces.

Day 8:

I wake up before Jenny, I want to move but laying next to her feels to natural. I lay next to Jenny and wait till she wakes up. Once she wakes up, she turns her head and looks at me. I ask her, "Did you have a good sleep." She responds, "Yes, I don't ever want to leave your side." I ask her to close her eyes so I can get dressed, she follows my command without hesatation. Once we are both dressed we walk out of my room to get breakfast. Natascha is cooking again and Mark is helping her. Once Jenny and I sit we are joined by Mark and Natascha, for breakfast we have eggs, bacon, and apple juice. For our daily chores, Mark and Natascha go into the forest to chop some trees together. Jenny doesn't want to leave my side so I tell her more stuff about mining and how to be careful around lava, She understands and we both go mining. I guess Jenny has a sense for ores because she has 32 iron ore already. After we are done mining we both come out of the cave with 128 iron ore, 256 coal, and 10 gold ore. Once everyone gathers inside the house we all sit down for something to drink. Once we finish I tell Jenny to wait at the table while I do something, I walk into my room. I take some diamonds, iron, gold, and redstone. I start forging a necklace for Jenny. It uses iron for chain, gold for outline, diamond for the heart, and redstone to make it glow. Once I finish I walk out of my room and tell her to close her eyes, I open her hands and drop the necklace in them and tell her to open her eyes. She is surprised, she gets up hugs me and then her soft lips kiss mine. I look surprised, I tell her that I feel tired and I am going to go take a nap. Jenny and I both go into my room to rest. I wake up to the sound of screaming, I tell Jenny to wait inside my room. I walk outside into the main area of the house. I see Natascha in a Corner tending to Mark, I ask her what happend. "We were on our way back from chopping wood when a skeleton shot Mark in the back twice," She said. I walk outside I see 20 skeletons and 10 zombies, I charge at them with my newly crafted diamond sword. I slay about 5 skeletons and 9 zombies, then I hear the hissing of a creeper. I quickly turn around and stab it then kick it off my blade, this was a mistake it blew up the front of our house. I run back to the house to defend it from any other monsters, once I get there I start repairing the damaged wall while defending the house from the rest of the zombies and skeletons. When I think it is finally over and enderman appears and I see Jenny walk outside my room. The enderman teleports behind Jenny, I run at it. Right as the enderman is about to hurt Jenny I push her out of the way and I take blow. I quickly get up and stab it in the leg, it tries to teleport but it can't. I stab it the the heart and it becomes limp and lifeless, I cut of its head and mount it on the wall. I go over to Jenny to ask her if she is ok, she only has a scrape on her arm so she will be fine. I go over to Mark I tell him to stay with us, I get some mushrooms from my chest and make it into a soup he drinks it. He seems to have gotten stronger, I tell him you will feel a sharp pain. I quickly pull out both of the arrows, he yelps. I bandage him up and bring him to his room, I tell Natascha he will be ok he just needs some rest. Natascha walks into his room and lays next to him taking care of him. I tell Jenny we need to go to bed. The sooner we do the sooner we will forget what happend tonight. She agrees and we both go into my room, we all fall asleep fearing what might happen the next day.

Day 9:

I wake up, I am not in my room. I look around me it is an all white room, I see a person standing and reading a book I walk up to him. I see his face. I ask, "Who are you." The mysterous man responds, "I am your worst nightmare, you will see in the next few days I will approach you and your choices will be. Leave this game forever or let your friends leave and you stay." "But that doesn't answer my question," I say. "You will see who I am soon," He says. I wake up for real this time Jenny is not here, I walk outside my room I cant find her. I see a note left on the table, it reads,

"Dear, Jake I can't take it anymore all the killing, all the blood and pain. I decided I am going to leave, you can try and find me but only the smart and quick witted will. Love, Jenny
I am worried I walk outside and try to find Jenny she is nowhere to be found. I see another note, "If you want to look for me meet me by the first time where I layed my eyes on you my sweet love." I walk inside wake up Natascha, I tell her she will be alone for the next few days so stay inside while I go find Jenny. I leave Mark's room and get my gear ready and leave. I walk over to the make-shift house, it is completed and decorated. I walk inside I see a mysterous portal, it is surrounded by white blocks. I jump inside, where I appear is the most corrupted place I ever layed my eyes on. It is pitch black, destroyed and I hear the sounds of the screaming terrors that are forced to live in this dimension. I walk onto the main land area, I see a hole that has been dug down. I know I am getting closer to find my true love so I jump without hesitation. I fall for what feels like endless hours, then I finally hit the ground I break my ankle. I am wondering where am I, I look at the ground there is blood drops, I touch them with my finger it has dried meaning Jenny was here a while ago. After what seems like an eterinity I find Jenny she is laying down. I pick her up and find my way out of this dimension, I start to finally recognize this dimension, it is The End. I figure out what I must do to leave this place. I must kill the EnderDragon, I face the EnderDragon with no fear because if I do I have a chance to see Jenny's smiling face again. I will do anything to keep her alive. I see the dragon it is going to swoop at me right as it does I pull out my bow and shoot it in the eye. I see its health drop down to 75%, It flies at me again this time closer to the ground. I roll out of the way and pull Jenny's body to safety, when I know Jenny's body is safe I rip out my sword and cut its wing. The dragon screams so loud it feels like I am getting my ears pearced. It swoops one final time I kneel and it flies over me but, while my sword cuts it down the middle. The dead body starts decaying right away, when it finishes it spawns a portal. I jump in. When I get back Natascha goes to me and tends to my ankle. When she finishes I bring Jenny to my bed and she lays there motionless. I am worried she will die so I try everything I got. Soup, herbs, and medicine, nothing works. I have to sit there and watch as my the love of my live slowlies dies. I go to bed on the hard wooden floor so Jenny can take the bed and get the most comfort she needs. I hope she will come back to us if she dies I will be lifeless, I will feel that half my heart is gone. I will not function properly, I have used my whole life searching for the love of my life and she is right infront of me and I will not choose to let her go. I fall asleep thinking about a life where Jenny and I lived together and we met in a different time and a different place, everything in my dream is so happy and peaceful I just hope I can still have a chance to live that life.

3 Days Later...

Day 12:

I wake up, Jenny isn't in my bed I guess she is better I walk outside into the main room. Natascha and Mark say, "We are sorry for your lost." "What!!!!" I exclaim. Mark says, "When I got better we came into your room we saw Jenny so we checked on her, she wasn't breathing so we buried her, we didn't have a burial service for her because we were waiting for you to wake up from your sleep." We go outside, I tell them we are going to have the biggest battle of our lives so start building cobblestone walls right after we have a service for Jenny. I go diamond mining when it hits mid-day I hear that Natascha and Mark are done, when I get back to the surface I see magnificent castle walls with turrets, sniper towers, fuctioning gate, and a station where you pour hot lava on your enemies. I tell Natascha and Mark that I have enough diamonds to last us a life-time, we forge armor and swords and mark gets a box with arrows ready to fight. When night falls nothing happens but, when a few hours past we hear a rumble in the distance. We see the sky turn blood red and see a crack in the ground appear about 100 blocks away from us, we see a man rise out of the crack. Natascha and Mark ask me who that is, I respond, "That is Herobrine our enemy that we must fight if we want out of this world." I see hordes of zombies and skeletons run at us, Mark mixes arrows with tnt and extra flint making him shoot explosive and fire arrows. The first wave is pretty easy but it gets harder from here. After we start surviving pretty good Herobrine spawns spider-jockies, charged creepers, creeper segaways, and enderdragon with 10 creepers riding upon it. We all stare in awe as we see our walls getting breached, we run at a quick pace Natascha and I we jump in the air and knock spider-jockies back into the charged creepers make some explode and some not. We are quickly pushed back into the castle, Natascha is still fighting while I run into the house to get Mark a sword because he ran out of his arrows. When I get back Mark, Natascha and I stand in a line next to each other fending off the endless waves of creepers. Mark gets too cocky and runs into the crowd we hear multiple explosions and see Mark fly up and land on the roof of the house. While Natascha runs back I go and protect them from the monsters, I see 5 creepers run at me and charge into them head first I quickly uppercut a creeper and use his body to smash another creeper right in the face. I take the last 3 and sweep them onto their backs, I then shove me sword into the ground and make an arc killing all 3 creepers quickly. We last for what seems like an eternity finally Herobrine runs out of monsters to spawn at us, we see him explode into a ball of lighting diamond armor appears on his body and a sword in his hand, he swings it a few times and lighting hits the sword everytime he swings it. Natascha, Mark, and I get ready, He runs toward us right as he slashes at me I jump over him by doing a front flip and end up behind him. I try to stab him in the heart but he teleports right as I thrust my sword. Herobrine appears behind Natascha and punches her, she flies and lands right next to me. Mark runs over to us and we form a circle, Herobrine appears in the center and pushes us all apart. We try the same tactic again but this time I have a plan. Right as Herobrine teleports I quickly turn around and stab him in his leg before he can hit us apart. He screams I watch it quickly heals when he telports away, I tell Natascha and Mark, "We must call on the power of the all mighty Notch." We all stand in a open circle I draw symbols on the ground, for some reason this seams so natural to me. Right as I finish the symbols glow yellow and Notch rises from the ground He sees Herobrine and says, "Hello brother." Notch's body rises into the sky and his sould splits into 3 parts 1 going to each of us. We can fly and shoot lighting bolts now, Notch's body falls to the ground. We fly at Herobrine and Mark stays back shooting lighting bolts at him. Herobrine stops aruptly and I teleport infront of him and cut his leg off, he starts bleeding profoundly he drops to the ground. We all stand around him with our swords pressed against his skull, he says, "You have defeated me what do you want Jake to go home by yourself or stay here and let the others go?" I respond, "Let the others go I can stay here," Natascha and Mark hear this and give me a big hug. "Your wish is my command," Herobrine says. A bright flash of light and when I can see again Mark and Natascha were gone and a note took their place. I picked up the note and it read, "Bye, Jake we will never forget you adn we are sorry for you loss." I pick up the note and stuff it in my pocket, I walk into the ruins of the battlefield and start building a new home. I think to myself, "I wonder if new people will ever come, but as long as I'm here I will never leave Jenny's grave."

The End?