Hi, my name is hunter and I always start these things with "Hi, (insert other words here)"

I was hoping one of the fine members of the planet minecraft community could point me in the direction of a server with a few specifications. What I am looking for is a server WITHOUT factions (because I am so sick of it) but still holds some aspects of roleplay. I would like to talk to the people on the server as if that was all they were and all I was. I want to leave the stress of my day to day behind and not speak of it. I am also looking for something with a chat system where you cannot hear people who are a certain distance away. I find it annoying that all these servers have mailboxes and things but nobody needs to use them when they can just yell at each other from across continents. I would like to have to actually travel to see my neighbors. And while I hate getting killed pvp should be on, but punishable. I want their to be assassination attempts and intrigue! I don't want to be bum rushed with a sword just for the person to take my stuff and nobody cares! I want justice against those who can't kill me in a way that they aren't found out. Honestly I could go on and on and on. I would really appreciate a grief free environment but I don't want it to be protected by the server. In short, I want a server where the rules are dictated and enforced by the players, rather then everyone running to staff when their house is burned down. If anyone knows where I can find such a server please tell me. I have been dying for a unique online minecraft experience and I would be forever grateful!

P.S. Preferably a server with nice people. The griefing is only an issue when the buttholes come out to play.