when you try to connect, use [insert your ip here]:[port]. for example, my server is 173.78.30.168:25565. The firewall stuff is most likely the router you got from your isp. try going to 192.168.1.1 in your browser. most of those have default usernames and passwords, usually admin for name and serial number for password. (would be on the router) the custom launch command would be when you start your minecraft server it might say not enough memory, use java -Xmx1024M -Xms1024M -jar minecraft_server.jar nogui to launch it. just make a text file and call it server.bat (make sure that the end is .bat, not .txt) and then fill it with the code above. use that to launch the server. you can fall back on connecting to the server from the machine that is running it by typing localhost in the connection box. that will let you know if the server is at least working.

Thanks so much for your reply zaralith, ima try it out soon when my friend is online. what im wondering is, what do you mean by "Remember to use the custom launch command that the server tells you to (the one with the 1024 blah blah blah in the argument list)". what custom launch command? XD i dont know what your talking about. also, how do i forward the ports in my firewall? windows personnel firewall? or my antivirus (my antivirus is microsoft security essentials and i checked, and it doesnt seem like i can forward ports in it). would seriously help me out if you could tell me. thanks!

EDIT: i turned on minecraft server.exe and then i tried to connect to my IP, but it didnt work, and i get the error saying "failed to connect to the server. connection timed out: connect" =\ confused. help please

The Hamachi is probably what is causing so much lag. Most personal internet connections have very limited upload, and the Hamachi server would be taking some of that bandwidth to keep the other person connected. My suggestion is to lose the Hamachi, and use your personal ip address that you will have. Check out whatismyip.com to find out your ip address and make sure that you use that to connect to your server. Also make sure that you open up the port in your firewall (usually 25565) by forwarding it to the computer you are hosting from (you can see what ip address the network sees that as by typing ipconfig in command prompt). If you always connect using the ip address you found, you will know when it changes when you can't connect. Hope that helps, though I might be wrong. Remember to use the custom launch command that the server tells you to (the one with the 1024 blah blah blah in the argument list). If you have any more questions, I will see what i can do about answering them.