This is what I've been doing from the start:
in windows.msc I disabled windows firewall.
I port forwarded 25565 to my local ip (192.168.0.4)
I put a dmz on my local ip (192.168.0.4)
I give people my GLOBAL ip. (
http://www.whatismyip.com/)
They can't direct connect to it.
They tried [my ip]:25565 as well. No dice.
I go to
http://canyouseeme.org/ and it says it can't see my service on that port.
I appreciate all the help so far but so far nothing suggested is anything I didn't say I'd already done in the first post.
Also, it's my fault you guys think I actually would send someone outside my network to my local IP. I worded that poorly. I was just pointing out that I can connect to myself.