woop woop

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Here's basically this summed up in the most poetic way possible.

So, today, I've been thinking about my happiness. I'll spill some beans here; I'm not always as happy as I seem. A little over a week ago, I got discharged from a psychiatric hospital for suicidal ideation. It was my second time being hospitalized for that, but this go around went a whole lot smoother. I was suicidal for two main reason; one being latch (where you latch onto someone or something as a lifeline and hold them as more important than yourself--tends to be bad for everyone involved), another being bullying.

With this COVID-19, school's been out longer than I've been back home. I haven't had to deal with being called the other f word, the other d word, aa crackhead (started out friendly but slowly others began using it as an insult), and all those names.

"A rose by any other name would smell just as sweet" does not apply just to Romeo, I've realized. It applies to me too. People can try to make me something I'm not, but, in the end, I'm still unapologetically me. Others can try to call those people good names, but they still are just as sweet...not sweet at all, at least in my truth.

I'm...happy. I forgot what that felt like.

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LIFELINES/HELPLINES

The Trevor Project-For 25 and Under LGBTQ+ Individuals
National Lifeline-For those considering suicide/other form of self-injury
Samhsa-For Substance Abusers and Their Families