The Cookie Monster sat back as his great-grandchildren demanded a bedtime story. "Tell us about what happened after you left Sesame Street!" cried one. "What did you do after you became Emperor?" asked another. "Well," croaked Cookie Monster in his raspy voice. "If it will put you to sleep. Old fogies like me shouldn't be up this late, you know." The little monsters persisted "Tell us about the Siege of the Kookie Kastle! That's what everybody talks to us about, and we haven't the faintest idea about it!" they yelled. "Okay, okay, if you give me a moment, I'll tell you about it. Just keep quiet, because you don't want great-grandma to wake up, do you?" asked Cookie Monster. The little monsters looked as if they had just seen a ghost. "Good, well here we go. It was when I was about 33 years old, and in my physical peak. In my opinion, no treats should go unpunished for not being eaten by us monsters. So I gathered a mighty host and marched against the Kookie Kastle, brave as a liono ¦"




I lead a monstrous army against the defending bakery items. They sent out squad after squad of their own men, from eclair-pikemen to tart-knights. My men were shocked at the variety of these beasts. Our spies had reported the majority of the army were cookies and lollipops. Oh well, the disguises offered limited vision after all. We sent projectiles sailing toward this new threat, and fortunately, their variety did not extend to their armor. My troops wore plated steel and toughened leather. Kookie Kastle's defenders barely had more than the clothes on their bodies. However the fought like madmen, demolishing the troops they could make their way to. If this kept up, I would have to- "Make a tactical retreat for a lunch break?" asked a youngling."No," said Cookie Monster-I would have to throw some reserve forces at them sooner than I expected. I still had no idea how many were in the Kookie Kastle. If the spies had been wrong about about the troops themselveso ¦




At last I struck upon a marvelous plan. "Send the signal to ignore these men and run straight to the castle!" I said. The bugler looked at me curiously but sent the command rolling down the battlefield. Soon the men were running to the castle, pursued by a host of crazed defenders. My lieutenant looked at me like I was crazy. "Are you mad? Our men will be picked off easily now that their defense is lowered!" I ignored him. "Now send the signal to fall back on the chasing defenders." They did so, crushing the enemy with my quick turn. The defenders had not been prepared for a quick confrontation on all sides. My men easily wiped them out. Meanwhile, my archers had been picking off the defenders on the walls, and the way was clear. "Complete assault!" I yelled. The army poured in through the front gates, and the Kookie Kastle was ours.




"So that is how we captured Kookie Kastle, now called Krazee Kastle, which is the very castle we are in right now." But Cookie Monster lectured to a sleeping room, because kids, as always, really hate lectures. Cookie Monster chuckled and went to bed, but he lay awake for a while remembering the past.