The legend of the Sailphalopod.


Many years ago, there was a humble sailor by the name of Jonah. Jonah was a sailor who began to sail to the Bermuda Triangle on the ship "Very Punny", which was the fastest ship on the seven seas. The voyage began in Holland and began its journey to the Bermuda Triangle.

Sadly, there were two gods who were influencing the ship's fate. The first of these gods was Poseidon, the sea god. Poseidon was angry that the captain, Captain Rainbowbeard, was using the seas as his personal toilet, and because of this he had a great plan for their ship. The other god was Cthulhu, the god of the mollusks, who was simply bored and was in the mood to have some fun.

As the ship neared its destination, a massive, 200 foot tidal wave struck the side of the ship, tearing it into pieces of plank and nail in seconds. Most of the crew was dead, but some had managed to swim its way to a nearby island. Jonah saw most of his crew make it to the island... but suddenly, just as he was about to get on foot, a tentacle grabbed his legs with a brutal force and grabbed him into the water. He cried for help, but no one saw him. 

The tentacle surrounded his head with a bubble of air and dragged him into the depths of the ocean. Jonah was horrified as he stared into the eyes of the god Cthulhu. Cthulhu, with a chilling cackle, smothered Jonah with a tentacle, then whispered, "You serve me now." Jonah was scared. He then felt teeth enter into his scalp. It was frightening, but he came to embrace it after a few seconds. The teeth tickled his brain, and then suddenly, he had realized that his head had been eaten by a squid. Confused, he decided to go to the surface to see if he was dreaming. 

When Jonah reached the surface, he saw his fellow crew sitting around a makeshift bonfire. As he approached them, they let out a cry of fear. Some of them pulled out weapons. Others just freaked out. He tried to call out to them. "Guys!" he tried to say. All that came out of his beak was a eerie howl. He ran away as his friends turned on him. Feeling betrayal, he swore to himself that he would come after each and every one of them until they were dead. 

Today, every time a sailor goes missing out at sea, who knows? Perhaps the squids overpowered him and turned him into a sailphalopod!

Fun fact: His cousins are Dr. Zoidberg and Octodad. He HATES fishing rods and Captain Hook. He likes a good dish of calamari though.