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-Water Burns: PMC contest entry- [45th!]

Contest Finalist!
This Blog is in the LEGO Minecraft Cave Hanger Contest which is now Complete!
See the Final Leaderboard!

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avatar CroatiaTheMan
Level 53 : Grandmaster Meme
496
Hey guys what’s up this is my story for the cave hanger contest.

The zombie was just about to bite Steve when suddenly out of nowhere KA-POW the ninja from Ninjago suddenly kicked the zombie and but him and the spider put up a real fight though. They punched and kicked as much as they could but even though there were 7 Ninjas and Steve against only 1 zombie and 1 spider the Ninja were no match for the undead creatures. They finally thought they finished when they threw them in lava but they just came out even angrier .The spider bit one of the Ninja but he knew nothing was going to happen because they weren't poisonous spiders. They finally given up and ran away they were running for a very long time until they just gave up. Then just about as the zombie and spider were going to kill the Ninja and Steve the stone blocks broke beside them and suddenly water starts flowing. It was Alex, what luck. She helps them all up, while the zombie and spider start panicking frantically. “Thank you Alex” they all said . “Who knew water stops zombies and spiders?” Steve said. Alex and the ninja went away back to their house. “What did we do to deserve this? We only wanted to help Steve with a diamond pickaxe” the zombie and spider asked.

I hope I win guys!

Hope you enjoyed it, please Diamond, Favourite and Subscribe.
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Comments : 49

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1 - 49 of 49

  • Locis
  • Level 26
  • Expert Geek
  • April 29, 2016, 4:27 pm
The FitnessGram™ Pacer Test is a multistage aerobic capacity test that progressively gets more difficult as it continues. The 20 meter pacer test will begin in 30 seconds. Line up at the start. The running speed starts slowly, but gets faster each minute after you hear this signal. [beep] A single lap should be completed each time you hear this sound. [ding] Remember to run in a straight line, and run as long as possible. The second time you fail to complete a lap before the sound, your test is over. The test will begin on the word start. On your mark, get ready, start.
Wait what?
  • PhirePhoenix
  • Level 25
  • Expert Mountaineer
  • December 11, 2015, 4:00 pm
Needs commas. And a bit random and out of the blue. But I still like it and gratz on finalist
  • CroatiaTheMan
  • Level 53
  • Grandmaster Meme
  • December 18, 2015, 11:27 pm
Thanks :D
  • Ohana_girl08
  • Level 28
  • Expert Musician
  • November 22, 2015, 9:38 am
Awesome story!!
Thanks :D
  • Shquaz
  • Level 16
  • Journeyman Dragonborn
  • November 1, 2015, 8:19 am
Great Job for 45th Place. :)
Thanks :D
  • Apprentice K
  • Level 11
  • Journeyman Skinner
  • October 1, 2015, 9:20 am
THATS GOOD EXCEPT the ninja part
Grr Don't forget to Dia+Fav
why does every story i read have no form, rather just a bunch of sprawled text that is just one scentence?
If i entered the contest, which i won't, mine will have more structure.
  • CroatiaTheMan
  • Level 53
  • Grandmaster Meme
  • September 26, 2015, 12:51 am
That's because we had a word limit and then we tried to put every detail in the story with still making it short :P
  • Shia_LaPoof
  • Level 16
  • Journeyman Pig
  • October 4, 2015, 2:48 am
I think cyber means you should split it into paragraphs, rather than being all bunched up like that.
Oh right I Didn't feel the need for paragraphs because it was short anyway
  • Spectre
  • Level 49
  • Master Mage
  • September 20, 2015, 3:49 am
Ninjago fan: Clasified no more
  • CroatiaTheMan
  • Level 53
  • Grandmaster Meme
  • September 20, 2015, 3:52 am
XD
  • GrayRemnant
  • Level 56
  • Grandmaster Senpai
  • September 19, 2015, 12:55 pm
I'm going to use my incredible psychic powers to deduce that you are, in fact, a Ninjago fan.  :P
  • CroatiaTheMan
  • Level 53
  • Grandmaster Meme
  • September 20, 2015, 12:47 am
Yes I am A Ninjago Fan XD. So Is It Gonna Win? plz tell me it will be at least in the finalists
  • GrayRemnant
  • Level 56
  • Grandmaster Senpai
  • September 20, 2015, 11:56 am
It will definitely be a finalist.  ;)
  • CroatiaTheMan
  • Level 53
  • Grandmaster Meme
  • September 21, 2015, 7:47 am
Yay :D
  • Orbiter
  • Level 42
  • Master Fox
  • September 19, 2015, 7:13 am
You are soooo ripping off my style. xD
  • CroatiaTheMan
  • Level 53
  • Grandmaster Meme
  • September 20, 2015, 12:46 am
What do you mean? oh I know Water Burns/Heat Of The Moment right...........
  • Orbiter
  • Level 42
  • Master Fox
  • September 20, 2015, 6:58 am
nope, you use italics when writing. Also, the hyphens before and after the title. :P
  • CroatiaTheMan
  • Level 53
  • Grandmaster Meme
  • September 20, 2015, 6:59 am
Oh XD
  • Spectre
  • Level 49
  • Master Mage
  • September 19, 2015, 4:59 am
Lol, very messy but it's reasonable xD

Some mistakes:

"Because they weren't poisonous spider"

"The spider bit one of the Ninja but the"
  • CroatiaTheMan
  • Level 53
  • Grandmaster Meme
  • September 19, 2015, 5:03 am
It says this The spider bit one of the Ninja but he knew nothing was going to happen because they weren't poisonous spiders.
  • CroatiaTheMan
  • Level 53
  • Grandmaster Meme
  • September 19, 2015, 5:01 am
Oh Right Gonna have to fix that
  • ILGaming01
  • Level 13
  • Journeyman Toast
  • September 18, 2015, 5:15 pm
What's the resource pack in the thumbnail?
  • CroatiaTheMan
  • Level 53
  • Grandmaster Meme
  • September 19, 2015, 12:56 am
Defscape Why?
  • ILGaming01
  • Level 13
  • Journeyman Toast
  • September 19, 2015, 5:01 am
I just thought it looked good and wanted it. xD
  • CroatiaTheMan
  • Level 53
  • Grandmaster Meme
  • September 19, 2015, 5:03 am
Oh XD
  • MagicDoggo
  • Level 8
  • Apprentice Blacksmith
  • September 18, 2015, 9:04 am
If in the end they wanted to help steve, why would the zombie want to bite him in the first place?
Plus, better fix the grammar, some small parts are missing a letter or something, you can get disqualified, It's said in the rules.
  • CroatiaTheMan
  • Level 53
  • Grandmaster Meme
  • September 18, 2015, 9:22 am
hehe I know what you mean but it says your not going to get disqualified only if it's totally wrong.Plus I used word so I think it's all correct (I know what you mean though because English is different in different countries :P)
  • MagicDoggo
  • Level 8
  • Apprentice Blacksmith
  • September 18, 2015, 9:39 am
Oh, okay. But about the zombie, he was gonna bite steve in the start, but he then wants to help steve in the end
  • CroatiaTheMan
  • Level 53
  • Grandmaster Meme
  • September 18, 2015, 9:43 am
no-one will ever no.......... XD.Idk he was hungry at the time I guess XD
  • MagicDoggo
  • Level 8
  • Apprentice Blacksmith
  • September 18, 2015, 9:49 am
If I was there, and hungry, I would look for a village, or a McDonald's or something.
  • CroatiaTheMan
  • Level 53
  • Grandmaster Meme
  • September 18, 2015, 9:50 am
If you were stuck in a cave for 77yrs I think you'd be alright eating flesh XD
  • MagicDoggo
  • Level 8
  • Apprentice Blacksmith
  • September 18, 2015, 9:54 am
If I was stuck down In a cave, I'd hope to find an underground McDonald's, an exit or anything eatable.
  • CroatiaTheMan
  • Level 53
  • Grandmaster Meme
  • September 18, 2015, 9:57 am
Not that wouldn't be possible XD
  • MagicDoggo
  • Level 8
  • Apprentice Blacksmith
  • September 18, 2015, 10:00 am
what if suddenly a mineshaft is found with chests of bread, carrots, meat and stuff like that, I could make my own burger XD
  • CroatiaTheMan
  • Level 53
  • Grandmaster Meme
  • September 18, 2015, 10:09 am
that would be the day XD.what if you were in space would you take this?
  • MagicDoggo
  • Level 8
  • Apprentice Blacksmith
  • September 18, 2015, 10:16 am
Yeah, pizza is very tasty, but hopefully it doesn't cost much, but I would (probably) eat it.
  • CroatiaTheMan
  • Level 53
  • Grandmaster Meme
  • September 18, 2015, 10:17 am
Oh in space and underground it costs quadriple XD
  • MagicDoggo
  • Level 8
  • Apprentice Blacksmith
  • September 18, 2015, 10:22 am
How do you know? Have you been in a Pizza Hut in space or a McDonald's underground? XD
  • CroatiaTheMan
  • Level 53
  • Grandmaster Meme
  • September 19, 2015, 12:56 am
Yes.........
  • YTCereal
  • Level 16
  • Journeyman Network
  • September 18, 2015, 8:44 am
Char list.

Alex
steve 
Zombie and the spider
7 ninjas Z(-.-)z
  • CroatiaTheMan
  • Level 53
  • Grandmaster Meme
  • September 18, 2015, 8:53 am
XD
  • YTCereal
  • Level 16
  • Journeyman Network
  • September 18, 2015, 8:26 am
omg it sayd Words. omg so dumb. i thought it was letters. <-- stupid 1+ kicked out of contest
  • CroatiaTheMan
  • Level 53
  • Grandmaster Meme
  • September 18, 2015, 8:27 am
XD

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