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I came up with the idea for this story, and I thought it would be worth writing and posting here. It’s just intended to be funny, and (very obviously) has nothing to do with my other writings.
(Note: The aliens would not actually be speaking English – it’s just written that way since it’s fictional.)
A group of alien researchers were sitting together at a table. They were having a meeting to discuss their observations of Earth.
Zanaz: The leader of the observation project.
Krolaan: In charge of observing the planet with telescopes, cameras, etc.
Brenisk: Studies the humans’ communications, such as the Internet.
Leyra’a: A linguist in charge of deciphering the common human language found in the communications.
Rorilae: A researcher in training, mostly learning from Leyra’a.
Efri’ion: Also in training, but learning from Nalothr.
Nalothr: Another researcher, not present at the meeting. Focuses on studying plant and animal life on the human planet.
Zanaz: Let’s begin. What have you all been observing on the humans’ planet?
Krolaan: Well, they seem to be moving around on their planet less. In a lot of areas, they’re just staying in their homes.
Zanaz: Interesting. Brenisk, have you seen any information about why that would be?
Brenisk: Well, from analyzing their communications, it seems that certain words are being used that I haven’t seen before. He takes out a portable device and sets it on the table. Here they are.
All the aliens look at the screen. On it are listed the words: CORONAVIRUS, COVID-19, QUARANTINE.
Zanaz: Hmm. I wonder what they mean.
Krolaan: Maybe it’s some kind of once-in-a-lifetime holiday. That would explain why the humans aren’t working.
Brenisk: Doesn’t it seem kind of long for a holiday though? And if they were celebrating, why wouldn’t they travel like they often do around such times?
Zanaz: Well, we can always ask Leyra’a. He goes to another room, and returns quickly with Leyra’a, who had been busy with another human language project. Here are the words. Do you understand any of them?
Leyra’a: Well, not completely. But see this first one, “coronavirus”? I know the word “virus” is used by the humans to describe certain diseases.
Rorilae: I thought you told me they used that word for a problem with their computers.
Leyra’a: They use it for both.
Brenisk: It’s probably a disease here, though. If it was a problem with their communications, then why would their amount of communication actually increase instead of decrease? I think it must be a disease, and since they aren’t going from place to place, they’re using their major network even more than usual.
Zanaz: Well, that seems like a logical conclusion. Anything else to report?
Brenisk: I’ve found some images that seem to be associated with the words I showed earlier. He shows a picture of the coronavirus on the screen.
Efri’ion: Hmm… It looks like it could be a plant, or maybe even an animal. Nalothr might know. Too bad he isn’t here today.
Zanaz: Well, we’ll just have to wait and see. Is that everything?
The aliens nod their heads. (Except, why would they do that? Whatever. They indicate “Yes” in the way aliens would do that.)
Zanaz: All right then. The meeting is over.
If you liked this story, let me know – I’d be willing to write a sequel! (Although it might end up being about another topic, rather than the coronavirus – depends on what people want.)
(Note: The aliens would not actually be speaking English – it’s just written that way since it’s fictional.)
A group of alien researchers were sitting together at a table. They were having a meeting to discuss their observations of Earth.
Notes About Each Alien
Zanaz: The leader of the observation project.
Krolaan: In charge of observing the planet with telescopes, cameras, etc.
Brenisk: Studies the humans’ communications, such as the Internet.
Leyra’a: A linguist in charge of deciphering the common human language found in the communications.
Rorilae: A researcher in training, mostly learning from Leyra’a.
Efri’ion: Also in training, but learning from Nalothr.
Nalothr: Another researcher, not present at the meeting. Focuses on studying plant and animal life on the human planet.
Zanaz: Let’s begin. What have you all been observing on the humans’ planet?
Krolaan: Well, they seem to be moving around on their planet less. In a lot of areas, they’re just staying in their homes.
Zanaz: Interesting. Brenisk, have you seen any information about why that would be?
Brenisk: Well, from analyzing their communications, it seems that certain words are being used that I haven’t seen before. He takes out a portable device and sets it on the table. Here they are.
All the aliens look at the screen. On it are listed the words: CORONAVIRUS, COVID-19, QUARANTINE.
Zanaz: Hmm. I wonder what they mean.
Krolaan: Maybe it’s some kind of once-in-a-lifetime holiday. That would explain why the humans aren’t working.
Brenisk: Doesn’t it seem kind of long for a holiday though? And if they were celebrating, why wouldn’t they travel like they often do around such times?
Zanaz: Well, we can always ask Leyra’a. He goes to another room, and returns quickly with Leyra’a, who had been busy with another human language project. Here are the words. Do you understand any of them?
Leyra’a: Well, not completely. But see this first one, “coronavirus”? I know the word “virus” is used by the humans to describe certain diseases.
Rorilae: I thought you told me they used that word for a problem with their computers.
Leyra’a: They use it for both.
Brenisk: It’s probably a disease here, though. If it was a problem with their communications, then why would their amount of communication actually increase instead of decrease? I think it must be a disease, and since they aren’t going from place to place, they’re using their major network even more than usual.
Zanaz: Well, that seems like a logical conclusion. Anything else to report?
Brenisk: I’ve found some images that seem to be associated with the words I showed earlier. He shows a picture of the coronavirus on the screen.
Efri’ion: Hmm… It looks like it could be a plant, or maybe even an animal. Nalothr might know. Too bad he isn’t here today.
Zanaz: Well, we’ll just have to wait and see. Is that everything?
The aliens nod their heads. (Except, why would they do that? Whatever. They indicate “Yes” in the way aliens would do that.)
Zanaz: All right then. The meeting is over.
If you liked this story, let me know – I’d be willing to write a sequel! (Although it might end up being about another topic, rather than the coronavirus – depends on what people want.)
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