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HiM - A Horror minecraft story

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PastaPot's Avatar PastaPot
Level 38 : Artisan Cake
36
I Was up on minecraft all night last night. Yes, i think i may be a little bit addicted. I didn't used to stay up on this game all the time, honestly, before my friend told me about it. Whenever i walk into the classroom everyone would yelp: ''Look! Its minecraft boy! Go find us some diamonds!''. And i don't think its a rather nice greeting. I'm only 13, I Deserve to like what i want, don't I? But i cant blaim them. I Am always up on it, always blabbing on about mining techniques and how to easily build redstone complications. No, of course not, Im not blaiming this on the game. Im blaming this on me, Notch hasn't done this to me, nor Mojang or Jeb. I Cant help it that i have fallen in love with this game. Even though all you do is mine, craft and build, its quite entertaining somehow. While my mother is tucked up in bed, I'm curled up in my blankets playing Minecraft all night, I don't care, my homework is done and i have nothing else to do, so why not?

I fell asleep, i knew i would, i woke up with a flash and my Minecraft had obviously crashed because i was Idle for too long. But it wasn't the normal crash screen, it had no code, just some writing. It read ''cRaSh-eNtItY-h3r0bRiN3''. I Couldn't read it so i just slung my bag on me and jumped out the door. And being the stupid me I am, i left the computer on, not bothering to shut it down. I Arrived in the classroom and i got the typical insults thrown at me like i usually did. But when i sat down and the boring lesson started, i kept on getting images and flashes inside my head. I Would look out the window and I would see a pair of souless eyes - No pupils. I Couldn't understand this. When i tried to concentrate on the teacher, i would feel drafted and sick. He looked over at me and i was asleep, well, thats what he fault. When he yelled, ''wake up!'', i never woke up. So i was rushed home straight away, well, thats what he told me, anyway. Because i obviously was ''unconscious'' when all of this happend.

I Had a little nap - But I've still got a splitting headache. Its hurts so bad and I'm still getting those images of the eyes. The flashes, the bangs and all that. Despite my woozy eyesight and my pounding head, i decided to cheer me up by reading some stories. When i typed in ''Minecraft stories'' very slowly, the search turned into ''Minecraft creepypasta'', I didn't know what it was so i clicked on the first link. ''Herobrine'', i read the story back and fourth before i realised what was going on, My heart was pounding fast with fear and my mum was staring at me, pale. Then, i drifted off, the computer still on the herobrine creepypasta. My mother told me the ambulance soon came and trailed me off to hospital and they said i had something wrong with the lower part of my brain. Like something was corruping me. Of course, she was in tears. But i was soon ''healed'' and rested in a hospital bed. Althought it was quite comfy in the cold sheets, i couldn't get the eyes out of my head.

I Decided to get rid of this reality by having another sleep. But that just made it worse because i should've known i would have a nightmare. I Was slowly screaming while drowning in hot lava in my nightmare, he was walking towards me and smirking, axe behind his back. My body was slowly burning and turning into some rotten dust, my arms ripping off into the hot lava. But then i woke up, sweating and my heart pounding. I Know it was just a dream, but i also know this would soon be reality. He is after me, i swear to god he is. I Need help, seirous help, and it does not help that my mother was escorted out the room with the nurses to sign the sheet. He's walking towards me, covered in rotting blood, looking disgusted and realistic. His head twitched, and he was muttering ''Only god can save you now...'', blood dropping out of his mouth. I Tried to scream but nothing came out, the doors locked and my mother pounded on the glass, she yelled: ''My baby!'', and i held out my hand to her. I Said, ''Mother, don't let him do this to other players, tell them, warn them...'', then with a white flash, i blacked out.

This was the end for me...

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1
01/04/2014 7:31 am
Level 3 : Apprentice Explorer
Gamer_Girl2002
Gamer_Girl2002's Avatar
I believe too keep them up CarlyCurlz
1
01/03/2014 6:08 pm
Level 41 : Master Artist
Ender_Eely
Ender_Eely's Avatar
The story has alot of potental! I'd say perhaps work a little more on the transistion of scenes and description some of it seemed a bit jumpy but it was a good story, nice job!
1
01/03/2014 2:22 pm
Level 38 : Artisan Cake
PastaPot
PastaPot's Avatar
2 negative comments... 5 awesome comments... Might make a sequel!
1
01/03/2014 8:18 am
Level 29 : Expert Engineer
Haydenjames
Haydenjames's Avatar
Cool!
1
01/02/2014 10:30 pm
Level 43 : Master Sweetheart
DerpyKat
DerpyKat's Avatar
Okay, let's break this down.
We already have a lot of mistakes in the first paragraph, and from reading, it just doesn't sound.. realistic.

I Was up on minecraft all night last night. Yes, i think i may be a little bit addicted. I didn't used to stay up on this game all the time, honestly, before my friend told me about it. Whenever i walk into the classroom everyone would yelp: ''Look! Its minecraft boy! Go find us some diamonds!''. And i don't think its a rather nice greeting. I'm only 13, I Deserve to like what i want, don't I? But i cant blaim them. I Am always up on it, always blabbing on about mining techniques and how to easily build redstone complications. No, of course not, Im not blaiming this on the game. Im blaming this on me, Notch hasn't done this to me, nor Mojang or Jeb. I Cant help it that i have fallen in love with this game. Even though all you do is mine, craft and build, its quite entertaining somehow. While my mother is tucked up in bed, I'm curled up in my blankets playing Minecraft all night, I don't care, my homework is done and i have nothing else to do, so why not?

I know you can do much better, and I like the story!
1
01/03/2014 11:53 pm
Level 16 : Journeyman Taco
Derpy_Troll
Derpy_Troll's Avatar
not everyone cares about grammar perfection
1
01/03/2014 2:25 pm
Level 38 : Artisan Cake
PastaPot
PastaPot's Avatar
Okay, i understand. But its meant to be a like a diary entry. And i think its realistic, and i used vocabulary to make it more detailed. But i liked the end of your comment, thank you!
By the way, the spelling is okay... My spelling checker did not pop up. I Understand the things like ' because i sometimes forgot them. For e.g, I'm is correct and Im isn't.
1
01/05/2014 12:36 am
Level 43 : Master Sweetheart
DerpyKat
DerpyKat's Avatar
Yeah, I understand. u w u
I really liked this though! Keep it up!
1
01/12/2014 11:26 am
Level 38 : Artisan Cake
PastaPot
PastaPot's Avatar
Okay
1
01/02/2014 9:26 pm
Level 34 : Artisan Unicorn
SoarynTheEagle
SoarynTheEagle's Avatar
I honestly didn't think it was all that scary. Nothing really happens until the last paragraph and even then it's not real. The scariest part of this story was the picture you posted at the end. Which isn't a good thing. There's also the matter of you capitalizing random words for no apparent reason. Overall the idea of herobrine haunting your dreams is good, but this was too short and poorly done for me to enjoy it.
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