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I originally wrote this for a contest on another website, but I decided to put it on here as a blog. I hope you like it!
This is a story about Luke Skywalker:
Before episode VII and after episode VI:
“I’m gonna go to a far away planet that has an island surrounded by water so I can be all by myself and no one will bother me.” *flys away in x-wing…* “I didn’t know it only takes 10 seconds to get here. Everywhere my friends go takes at least 20 seconds or more to get to. They’ll never find me here.”
*2 months later*
“PLEASE SOMEONE FIND ME!!!!!! THIS IS TORTURE!!!! I’M SO BORED!!!! Too bad I didn’t leave the map with Leia. Oh, wait, I did. Good thing I didn’t forget everyone back home. Wait, who’s Leia? Oh, right. I wonder if she’ll get married anytime soon………….. Why are you looking at me like that? What, am I some sort of psycho?” *whispers under breath* “Weirdo.” “Anyway, back to the story. I hope the First Order didn’t find the map. I really should have told Leia where it was before I left. Whoops. Okay, Maybe that was a bad idea. Too late now. I just hope The First Order doesn’t have it.”
*Meanwhile, back at Starkiller Base:*
Kylo Ren: “The map is in the droid.”
“Why do I have the feeling something bad just happened? Whatever. Wanna know a secret? Can I trust you? Good. Okay, here it is. It’s called: IHTROTMIRD. (AKA I Hid The Rest Of The Map In R2-D2!) Don’t tell ANYONE!!!! It’s a HUGE secret. Not even Leia knows about it! (Like I said before, I didn’t tell her.)” *winkie face* “Which probably was a bad idea, so:” *UNwinkie face* “ I kinda wish I’d brought R2-D2 with me. No, then there would be no one to take care of the map. Good old Artoo. That’s his nickname. I’m the only one that calls him that. Well, Threepio does too. Man, that droid is annoying. I meant Threepio, not Artoo. DEFINETLY not Artoo. Threepio is just creepy. Wait!!! Something horrible just happened! Like someone died or something! I hope it wasn’t a friend. Like Han. I shouldn’t be ridiculous! Han isn’t dead! But I really feel---No! I refuse to believe it!” *Crosses shoulders* “Anyway, about Threepio. Why did my dad even make him? He was just gonna be a crazy psycho maniac of a father anyway. I wonder why he turned to the dark side. Probably because it has coffee. THEY get coffee, but WE have to stay caffeine-free. Stupid Light-side rules.” *tongue sticking out* “I’m bored. I usually am here. Oh, look, a ship! It looks like the Millennium Falcon! Isn’t that the ship Han used to fly? OH, now I get it! Leia and Han got married, and now they have a crazy psycho son named Rylo Ken or something. Anyway, It’s a ship!!! It’s come to save me!!! A girl is getting out. Looks about 19, 20 maybe? And look! It’s R2-D2!!! I want to run down and hug him, but the girl might be a spy for the First Order. She might have forced Artoo to bring her here! But Artoo looks happy? Maybe he’s a spy too!!!” *Mouth gaping* “The girl is coming this way! I should hide. No, I should turn around dramatically when she gets here! Cool! Good idea, Luke. Argh!! See! Now I’m talking to myself! Good thing the girl is here. Alright, I’ll turn around---Now!” *Rey gets there, Luke turns around* “She’s getting something out of her bag.” *Rey gets lightsaber out* “What is it? I recognize it from somewhere. Something about dad. I know! My father’s LIGHTSABER!!! I can’t believe it! How did she find it? That was the lightsaber I lost when dad cut off my hand! Wow, that’s a sentence I never thought I’d say before. Well, she’s here now. What should I do? Just stand here? It's too late to say anything. It would be too awkward. Dot dot dot.
The End!!!!
This is a story about Luke Skywalker:
Before episode VII and after episode VI:
“I’m gonna go to a far away planet that has an island surrounded by water so I can be all by myself and no one will bother me.” *flys away in x-wing…* “I didn’t know it only takes 10 seconds to get here. Everywhere my friends go takes at least 20 seconds or more to get to. They’ll never find me here.”
*2 months later*
“PLEASE SOMEONE FIND ME!!!!!! THIS IS TORTURE!!!! I’M SO BORED!!!! Too bad I didn’t leave the map with Leia. Oh, wait, I did. Good thing I didn’t forget everyone back home. Wait, who’s Leia? Oh, right. I wonder if she’ll get married anytime soon………….. Why are you looking at me like that? What, am I some sort of psycho?” *whispers under breath* “Weirdo.” “Anyway, back to the story. I hope the First Order didn’t find the map. I really should have told Leia where it was before I left. Whoops. Okay, Maybe that was a bad idea. Too late now. I just hope The First Order doesn’t have it.”
*Meanwhile, back at Starkiller Base:*
Kylo Ren: “The map is in the droid.”
“Why do I have the feeling something bad just happened? Whatever. Wanna know a secret? Can I trust you? Good. Okay, here it is. It’s called: IHTROTMIRD. (AKA I Hid The Rest Of The Map In R2-D2!) Don’t tell ANYONE!!!! It’s a HUGE secret. Not even Leia knows about it! (Like I said before, I didn’t tell her.)” *winkie face* “Which probably was a bad idea, so:” *UNwinkie face* “ I kinda wish I’d brought R2-D2 with me. No, then there would be no one to take care of the map. Good old Artoo. That’s his nickname. I’m the only one that calls him that. Well, Threepio does too. Man, that droid is annoying. I meant Threepio, not Artoo. DEFINETLY not Artoo. Threepio is just creepy. Wait!!! Something horrible just happened! Like someone died or something! I hope it wasn’t a friend. Like Han. I shouldn’t be ridiculous! Han isn’t dead! But I really feel---No! I refuse to believe it!” *Crosses shoulders* “Anyway, about Threepio. Why did my dad even make him? He was just gonna be a crazy psycho maniac of a father anyway. I wonder why he turned to the dark side. Probably because it has coffee. THEY get coffee, but WE have to stay caffeine-free. Stupid Light-side rules.” *tongue sticking out* “I’m bored. I usually am here. Oh, look, a ship! It looks like the Millennium Falcon! Isn’t that the ship Han used to fly? OH, now I get it! Leia and Han got married, and now they have a crazy psycho son named Rylo Ken or something. Anyway, It’s a ship!!! It’s come to save me!!! A girl is getting out. Looks about 19, 20 maybe? And look! It’s R2-D2!!! I want to run down and hug him, but the girl might be a spy for the First Order. She might have forced Artoo to bring her here! But Artoo looks happy? Maybe he’s a spy too!!!” *Mouth gaping* “The girl is coming this way! I should hide. No, I should turn around dramatically when she gets here! Cool! Good idea, Luke. Argh!! See! Now I’m talking to myself! Good thing the girl is here. Alright, I’ll turn around---Now!” *Rey gets there, Luke turns around* “She’s getting something out of her bag.” *Rey gets lightsaber out* “What is it? I recognize it from somewhere. Something about dad. I know! My father’s LIGHTSABER!!! I can’t believe it! How did she find it? That was the lightsaber I lost when dad cut off my hand! Wow, that’s a sentence I never thought I’d say before. Well, she’s here now. What should I do? Just stand here? It's too late to say anything. It would be too awkward. Dot dot dot.
The End!!!!
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