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(Heads up, this is satire. I have far more respect for the Minecraft community than what is displayed below)
Making a Minecrafter
Hey kid! Do you like:
Or if that doesn’t suit you, how about:
*Minecraft requires 3 easy payments of $8.98, and a computer for 60 easy payments also of $8.98.
In all seriousness, a huge thank you to the Minecraft community. I joined Minecraft in 2010 with a few buddies of mine. Here we are 6 years later, and although I no longer play minecraft, it definitely influenced me and led me to wanting to earn a degree in civil engineering (in which I got my bachelors degree this year, woot woot!).
Making a Minecrafter
Hey kid! Do you like:
- Defacing works of art?
- Chat spamming?
- Hacking until your opponents cry?
- Saying “You mad bro?”
Or if that doesn’t suit you, how about:
- Making a house of dirt to the laughter of your friends?
- Dying repeatedly at the hands of monsters?
- Searching endlessly through wikis in utter confusion?
- Having others ask you, “You mad bro?”
Well, today is your lucky day, because you might just have what it takes to become a Minecrafter ((TM.) Seriously, don’t even look at this word or we will sue.)
That’s right, becoming a Minecrafter might be everything you ever wanted and is practically free*! It all starts with punching wood, but in no time, you could be punching your friends over the d%@# they made in your base! But don’t worry, being at the mercy of others won’t last too long, as hacking mods are required after 2 months of play. This also marks the beginning of a monthly “You mad bro?” quota that will reward you with the title “Soulless” if met and the title “Pansy” if not completed. But it doesn’t end there! A true Minecrafter also gets the perks of being called “Nerd” and can also participate in discussions involving criticisms of Minecraft’s lack of graphics and objectives!
Although this sounds like a big commitment, I assure you that becoming a Minecrafter is easy and barely takes control of your life**. So come on down to Mojang Microsoft The Devil’s Superstore and become a Minecrafter today!
*Minecraft requires 3 easy payments of $8.98, and a computer for 60 easy payments also of $8.98.
** Becoming a Minecrafter requires total commitment including the purchase of Minecraft merchandise as well as joining Minecraft community sites and writing mediocre blogs. Not even your profile pictures are safe, as all Minecrafters are required to change all pictures of themselves to Minecraft avatars.
In all seriousness, a huge thank you to the Minecraft community. I joined Minecraft in 2010 with a few buddies of mine. Here we are 6 years later, and although I no longer play minecraft, it definitely influenced me and led me to wanting to earn a degree in civil engineering (in which I got my bachelors degree this year, woot woot!).
| Credit | Thanks Mom |
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