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The story of a Monster

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Wuufwuuf's Avatar Wuufwuuf
Level 8 : Apprentice Miner
3
"The Story of a Monster"


I ran into Steve on my way out of town. We happened to be heading the same way, so we opted to share the trail. He was pleasant company, well traveled, even having been some places I haven't, which was impressive considering how little I stayed in one place. It was a shame we'd be spending so little time together, good travelling buddies were hard to come by in this day and age.

We made camp along the road. Between the two of us we had enough torches to keep the mobs from spawning too close, so it would be a relaxing night. Steve was tending the cooking fire while I set up the cots, a pig we came across earlier would be dinner. I settled in to wait while it cooked.

"It's getting dark," Steve said, "how about a story?"

I considered for a moment before responding. "Why don't you start? I'll need some time to think of a good one."

Steve obliged, telling an old story about a mysterious being named Herobrine. A man with glowing white eyes that appeared when his victims least expected it, and disappearing just as swiftly. Eventually, his target would go mad, and that's when he would strike.

It was a story I'd heard many times, but Steve did it justice in a way that most storytellers can't manage, pacing it perfectly throughout and pausing for effect at all the right moments. I really would have liked to travel with him longer.

The story itself was a bit off the mark, but I couldn't hold it against him. After all, he had never met Herobrine before.

"Well?" Steve asked, startling me from my thoughts. "What story will you tell friend?"

After hearing his story, I knew which one I would tell. "How would you like to hear the true story of Herobrine? How he became what he is?"

Steve grinned as he responded. "Can't say I've heard that one before. I hope you don't mind if I add it to my collection."

I smiled, gesturing for him to settle in. I looked into the flames as I began to tell my story.

"It started the night I proposed. It's been so long I can't remember her name, but I had been mining for weeks to find the perfect Diamond, and the moment she said yes made it all worth it. Afterwards we had continued our picnic on the mountain side, sitting side by side as we watched the stars. I closed my eyes to savor the moment, but I was surprised at what I saw upon opening them.

The entire world had gone white. All I could see was bright light, with the occasional impression of shapes and washed out colors. Despite the lack of vision, I felt somehow peaceful, a sense of detached contentment. For a moment, I felt as though I could stay like this forever, and not have a single care.

Then the screaming started.

Never before had I heard a sound so LOUD. It came from everywhere, as though the entire world were howling in abject terror. Too loud, my head was ready to burst. I couldn't take it any more, it had to STOP. IT HAD TO STOP!

I could feel my body moving on its own, my vision became a kaleidoscope of colors, swirling in every direction and shade too swiftly for the mind to comprehend. Through the screaming I could dully make out the sounds of feet running, snapped twigs and the thump of a body hitting the ground. My grip closed on something I couldn't see, and as my hands tightened the screaming began to fade. Slowly, at first, then faster, dying away to a mere whimper until finally, blessedly, it stopped altogether.

I slumped down in relief, blinking as the white light began to fade. When my vision returned to normal, I saw what I had been holding so tightly.

It was her, choked to death. Realizing what I had done, I ran, unable to look upon the aftermath. I finally came to a stop miles later, crashing to the ground as my legs gave out, weeping silently as darkness closed in.

It's happened many times since then, as I wandered from village to village, never staying long. Occasionally I would meet another traveler. We'd share a story, perhaps a meal, and sometimes we'd head our separate ways. Other times we wouldn't. I don't cry when it happens any more, I've long since run out of tears, but that doesn't stop the regret, and it doesn't bury the memories."

I closed my eyes as I finished, they were dry from staring into the flames. After a moment, Steve began to laugh.

"That's a good one friend, I've never heard one like it. For a moment you almost had me convinced YOU were Herobrine!"

"It does sound crazy, doesn't it?" I responded, turning towards him as I opened my eyes.

The world went white, and the screaming began.


~~
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1
04/23/2018 12:09 pm
Level 13 : Journeyman Blacksmith
Com1cgam3r
Com1cgam3r's Avatar
please write my stories like dissa one, me likey very mooch
1
06/11/2016 2:00 am
Level 62 : High Grandmaster Cyborg
Knightsundere
Knightsundere's Avatar
Excellent twist, even if it is given a little early. You have some guts, to write in the choking segment. I can respect that.

I think your writing would greatly benefit from finding and fixing run-on sentences. For example; "It was a shame we'd be spending so little time together, good travelling buddies were hard to come by in this day and age." has some excellent material, but it's missing the break that makes it sound firm.

"It was a shame we'd be spending so little time together. Good travelling buddies were hard to come by, in this day and age."

There are a few instances like that throughout the story, but otherwise, I actually enjoyed this read. Nicely done.
1
06/25/2016 3:16 am
Level 8 : Apprentice Miner
Wuufwuuf
Wuufwuuf's Avatar
Thanks for the positive feedback! Run-ons are a thing that have been plaguing me for nearly forever. Every time I think I get them all *poof* there's another.
1
05/22/2016 4:13 am
Level 50 : Grandmaster Architect
GhostXavier
GhostXavier's Avatar
Damn. Take my upvote, bro
1
05/22/2016 4:16 am
Level 8 : Apprentice Miner
Wuufwuuf
Wuufwuuf's Avatar
Thank ye kindly fine sir!
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