I would like to preface this by stating exactly why I will speak in a foreign language. Firstly, the following language is Japanese, specifically romaji, which is basically Japanese words in English letters. I will provide constant translations in paragraphs with every phrase. For you expert Nippon readers out there, below the romaji lecture will be a full Japanese adaptation that fully conveys exactly how to become a ninja warrior. Lastly, I highly recommend you take RosettaStone Japanese courses. Arigatou gozaimasu for reading. (Thank you very much for reading.)

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Yahallo! Watashi wa Kekashi Hatake desu. ( [stylized form of saying "hello!"] My name is Kekashi Hatake.) Watashi wa anata no sensei o shite imasu. (I am your teacher for today.) Arigatou for taking the time to read my comprehensive guide to become a ninja.

Saisho (first), let us ask the question: Ninja to wa nanidesu ka? (What is a ninja?)

The answer is quite shinpuru, hontoni. (...is quite simple, really.) According to the multitude of anime I have watched this past half a year, a towering total of hachi (eight), to be a ninja is to be a hero. To be a ninja, you must be as swift as a coursing river, with all the force of a great typhoon; with all the strength of a raging fire; mysterious as the dark-aru (dank) side of the moon.

Okay. Watashitachiha, zokkō suru mae ni kono kotae o mokusō shite mimashou. (Let us meditate over this answer before continuing.)

. . .

Ninja no zokusei (attributes of a ninja)

A ninja, in essence, is swift. A ninja is swift with his dōsa, swift in kōgeki, and especially swift in the kokoro [connect]. (respectively: movements, attacks, mind) Don your hand-taylored skin-tight midnight black ninja outfit with equally dark trenchcoat and weild your Chinatown replica katana. Sharpen not only your skills but also your conciousness.Shiru ni wa, karera ga iu, hanbun no tatakaidesu. (Knowing is half the battle, they say.)

Gomenasai; Kore wa watashi ga kotoba o kaishite kyōyū suru koto ga deki, subete no chishikidearimasu. (I am sorry; this is all the knowledge I can share through words.)
[size=10pt]For the path to the ninja is [/size][size=10pt]31% sensei guidance and 69% self mastery. If you truly devote your life to [s]haruhiism[/s][/size] [size=10pt]ninjaism[/size], [size=10pt]then kami-sami [i](god/gaben (meaning varies from region to region))[/i] will surely grace his ancient oriental technique to you. [/size][size=10pt]Once again, arigatou gozaimasu[/size] [size=10pt]so much for taking the time out of your precious day to read my guide. You have no idea how much it means to me. If I get at least two views, I might get enough diamonds to finally buy a new Jump magazine! Yatta! [i](I did it!)[/i][/size]


Full Japanese Translation
Ano desu ne, Araragi-san desu desu desu desu desu desu desu desu desu desu desu desu desu desu desu desu desu desu desu desu desu desu desu desu desu desu desu desu desu desu desu desu desu desu desu desu desu desu desu desu desu desu desu desu desu desu desu desu desu desu desu desu desu desu desu desu desu desu desu desu desu desu desu desu desu desu desu desu desu desu desu desu desu desu desu desu desu desu desu desu desu desu desu desu desu desu desu desu desu desu desu desu desu desu desu desu desu desu desu desu desu desu desu desu desu desu desu desu desu desu desu desu desu desu desu desu desu desu desu desu desu desu desu desu desu desu desu desu desu desu desu desu desu desu desu desu desu desu desu desu desu desu desu desu desu desu desu desu uguu nyaa neko desu desu desu desu desu desu desu desu desu desu desu desu desu desu desu desu desu desu desu desu desu desu desu desu desu desu desu desu desu desu desu desu desu desu desu desu desu desu desu desu desu desu desu desu desu desu desu desu desu desu desu desu desu desu desu desu desu desu desu desu ブッシュは9 11をやりました

Further research on the subject of shokushu pātī (warriors of Asian origin)

• Naruto - a lesser-known Mongolian motion cave drawing (anime) that puts a kawaii (cute) and sugoi (amazing) fantasy twist on the life of ninjas and the International Revenue Service.
  
  
• Sleeping with Hinako - a fourty minute OVA (obscenely vicarious amalgamation) that takes on a very rare first person point of view where all you do is observe a sleeping teenaged girl. You are a ninja hired as a guard, but it does not specifically state that.
  
  
• Purin to Ohoro - a 3d FPS hand-to-hand combat game where you spar with your little sister for the reign of the bathtub.
  
  
• Wizards of Waverly Place - if you call yourself an otaku then this is a must-watch.
  
  

[size=14pt][color=rgb(51, 51, 51)]Anata no okāsan wa, kōkyō no ba de nūdo makikoma [i](Credits)[/i][/color][/size]
Sergeant Buttgasm7 - photo creds. He has informed me that he also runs a bakery in downtown Boston. He makes good shortcakes.
ThoondrShooks - pet wolf I found lying on the street yelping for water that modeled
Nippon/Japan/Taiwan - for being the best country ever!!11~~