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MC splash text ideas! (comedy, sarcasm, obscurity!)

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anonym_bulba avatar anonym_bulba
Level 26 : Expert Pokemon
boots with the fur!
that's what i meant by splash text, you know :)

anyways, some things would be nice to see when i open minecraft...
so i compiled them and made them into a list!

on the end of a stick!
(referencing carrots in 1.4)

the cheaters have sponges!
(in SSP no sponges can be obtained)

no binders necessary!
(this should be obvious if you keep up in american politics)

now with gordon freeman!
(steve's running mate in the IGN presidential campaign)

also try half-life!
(see above)

1/16 of a meter!
(the height of a layer of snow)

(one of notch's new projects)

absolutely no communists!
(a joke, because iconomy remains an ever-popular server plugin)

eye phones!
(in mineZ, ender eyes can be used to communicate)

shrunken blockheads!
(heads will be available in 1.4, all skins' heads are 8x8 squares)

both of the circles are squares!
(ender eyes and snowballs are stackable up to 16, which is a perfect square)

noteblock choirs!
(lyrics from 'fallen kingdom')

fancy hats!
(skins have hats layers, also a fledgling meme)

death by intelligence!
(primitive mob AI caused the mobs to walk into cactus, also the slogan of rampancy.net)

softwood lumber!
(tree farming can be a profitable enterprise in multiplayer,
also referencing the canadian-american trade dispute)

absolutely no crackerjack!
(certain players use cracked clients)

selective availability!
(see above)

sarcasm, wrapped in irony!
(inspired by Le Diamond Creeper's blog.

(asymmetrical, written with symmetry!
inspired by Piano_Creeper

all for half, told in two!
(a reference to 'A Feast for Crows' and 'A Dance with Dragons')

half for all, to be continued!
(see above, what would have happened)

meanwhile, back at the Wall...
(see above)

count the votes!
(josef stalin once said, "it's not who votes that counts, it's who
counts the votes that counts!)

winter is NOT COMING.
(the Stark family words, with a 'not' because in minecraft, snow
is determined by biome, not season)

Cake Day is coming!
(this is a Lie, for obvious reasons, inspired by ieatlego

try the sugar challenge!
(referencing the cinnamon challenge, but sugar cannot be consumed raw
in minecraft)

(those annoying ads, text can be colored in SMP and on signs)

(a halo antagonist, undead AI in mc)

random tangents!
(was thinking randomly, going off on a tangent...)

look them in the eyes!
(when encountering a bear, a good tactic.
with endermen, not so much.)

infinite digging machine!
(some players obsessively mine, infinite devil machine)

also see red vs. blue!
(popular halo machinima series, minecraft also has lots of

blinking contests!
(staring contests would be way too easy)

imbalanced balancing!
(seemingly impossible structurse can be built, defying our laws of physics)

cold beds!
(george r.r. martin quote, an empty bed is a cold one)

depleted-uranium arrowheads!
(mods can do anything)

$26.95 mode!
(the game, slender, has $20 mode, while $26.95 is the cost of minecraft,
no matter which mode)

suit off, eyes on, black dye!
(transformation from slenderman to enderman)

creepers in disguise!
(many players' usernames and skins involve creepers)

ghosts in the code!
(the myth of herobrine)

authors are cephalopodicidal!
(cephalopods are squid, which must be killed for ink)

no biodiversity!
(most animals have a single skin and identical traits)

endorsed by professional cartographers!
(minecraft's geography would be simple to make into a topographical

heretics and zealots!
(heretics enchant their own gear, zealots are guided by the gods, and
detest enchantment tables, which are immoral)

(this one is so obvious, i'm surprised mojang hasn't added it)

that's it, i guess... if there's anything you would like as splash text, feel free to discuss...
Creditrampancy.net, le diamond creeper, captain , ieatlego, Piano_Creeper

2 Update Logs

Update #2 : by anonym_bulba 10/24/2012 7:30:06 pmOct 24th, 2012

added a few more...

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08/12/2014 4:16 am
Level 1 : New Miner
miningdiamonds8 avatar
I don't know if you still check this, but i made a .txt file for you to put into minecraft to replace your normal ones, here!
07/01/2014 11:24 am
Level 42 : Master Engineer
zhbrzgx avatar
You know you can modify splash texts with rescource pack, right?
12/26/2012 9:40 pm
Level 46 : Master Turtle
dunkey4 avatar

very funny

the sugar challenge
12/27/2012 11:41 am
Level 26 : Expert Pokemon
anonym_bulba avatar
i eat waaaay too much sugar...
12/19/2012 12:04 am
Level 29 : Expert Scribe
_DioM_ avatar
I always come up with humorous, unimplemented splash screen texts. ^^

Wanna create a second edition of this blog post, together?
12/19/2012 7:56 pm
Level 26 : Expert Pokemon
anonym_bulba avatar
who would post it?
(doesn't apply if double posts are allowed)
i guess we could pm ideas to each other...
10/25/2012 8:39 am
Level 23 : Expert Modder
+RedSnivy14+ avatar
Hey bulba i just wanted to tell you that me and my friends just started a youtube channel! its RagersGamingUniverse if you want to check us out we have one video so far but are gonna make more soon.

10/25/2012 5:31 pm
Level 26 : Expert Pokemon
anonym_bulba avatar
hmm... what are the specifics, because i can't seem to find it...
11/03/2012 10:57 pm
Level 23 : Expert Modder
+RedSnivy14+ avatar
just goto this link here make sure to tell you fans and friends if you like it!
11/03/2012 11:17 pm
Level 26 : Expert Pokemon
anonym_bulba avatar
i don't have many fans ;)
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