‘Ohai MrFamousModeratorEpicAmazing2Cool4UGuy! How are you?’

‘I love your work, I’m such a big fan’

‘It’d mean everything to me if I could be as cool as you, you’re just so amazing at everything’

These examples may be slightly exaggerated, but we’ve all probably seen something like this. A regular conversation suddenly punctuated by someone who you’d been chatting to normally mere minutes before who is now generally pointing out how the admin who just joined is the best thing to happen since creative mode.

So I pose the question to you all, why do we suck up?


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To answer this question we are going to have to delve into deep human psychology. So what better way to do so than with a not so startling revelation?

Humans are selfish, we always want things and we always think of ourselves.

This could apply to even the smallest and most trivial of things. Why would you hold the door open for someone? You may tell yourself and truly believe that it’s because it’s the right thing to do, but is it actually because subconsciously you want to be seen as a good person to put yourself in better standing? Or even to receive that glimmer of gratitude that comes with someone just saying thank you?

This applies to most every one of us. We may not realise it but if you think about it could any action be seen as truly selfless? Even giving your life for another, you would be remembered as a hero and who wouldn’t want that? This is not a slight and it doesn’t undermine the positivity of doing what you think is right, but it’s the way humanity generally is.

“Why are you unhappy?
Because 99.9 per cent
Of everything you think,
And of everything you do,
Is for yourself”
– Wei Wu Wei

In addition to this, or perhaps due to it, there’s another aspect of humanity that I daresay most of us have experienced at some point. The urge to become popular – the desire to appear ‘cool’ to our peers.

Remember when you were in school? Or what happens in school now if you’re still there? When you have the cool kids and then that other group that isn’t cool in itself but just follows the cool group around and does as it does. Generally the second group is made up of the kids who aren’t deemed ‘cool’ enough for the main group, but follow it around anyway in order to look like they’re a part of it.

Because if you can’t become cool yourself, why not let those who are already cool do it for you?


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Let’s swing this around to become applicable to Minecraft. When you see all of those people who apply to be staff on a server without ever even having played on it or having any server experience of which to speak, ever wonder why they do that?

The answer isn’t usually because they want to help the server and gain staff experience. It’s usually something along the lines of that they want that power over others, to stand out because they have something that no-one else has. A big fish in a small pond; to become the ‘cool kid’ for a change.

So how do you go about obtaining these epic staff powers of amazingness? Befriend the owner and the other staff by telling them how amazing they are and demonstrate your amazing ‘yes man’ skillz. Then when the owner sees what a fantastic sycophant you are you will definitely get staff. But then what do you do?

Many proceed to then show others how cool they are and how much power they have by using their permissions whenever possible. “Did you just say something when I was about to?” */ban*

And thus we have the abusive staff member. Just trying to appear cool.

We can also observe this on PMC, it’s very much like the school example all over again with the high levels and moderators being the cool kids that everyone aspires to be like. When you can claim to be subscribed by Cyprezz then it’s the next best thing to being a moderator yourself. Who you’re associated with pulls you up, you’re looking cool because you can hang out with those who are cool.


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But this is not school. This is not where a cool kid can feel like God because they can snap their fingers and have ten people ready to do anything to earn their childlike image of ‘respect’. This is very much closer to the real world. And in the real world no-one likes a suck-up.

It’s expecting something for nothing. By making the object of your attention feel good about themselves and inflating their ego you will benefit yourself when others who actually try and independently succeed fall by the wayside. But this doesn’t work. Many have caught on by now, what will happen when you’re given what you want? I can almost guarantee that the behavior you were exhibiting to gain your boon will not continue for long once you have it. So of what benefit is it for the ‘cool kid’ to keep you around anymore?

So at the end of the day, all that sucking up does is show that you don’t have what it takes to make it yourself. And you just end up looking worse.

Thanks for reading

- Torm