A Note

Well, I wonder how long overdue this is.

I’ve written this note as an apology for most of what I’ve done on Planet Minecraft. After reading some stuff sent to me by a… friend, I realized what I had done. For how long, I wondered, have I been “trolling” this site? I’ve caused so many people to become angry, for what? For my own personal gain? What gain? Possibly simply for amusement. Really, I think it boils down to my want to be banned. I tried so hard, but it seems not hard enough. I could’ve been more concerned in my efforts.

Or maybe I could’ve put my efforts elsewhere. I now wonder to myself, with all of the effort put in to annoy everyone on Planet Minecraft, with all of the time spent irritating members, what could I have achieved? I could’ve built something the likes of which usually make it onto the popular reel. With all of my time spent writing blogs pointing out the problems on this site, I could’ve spent bettering the problems I pointed out. I could’ve learnt how to code. I could’ve learnt 3D model and texturing. But no, I decided to spend it annoying you all. And I apologize for that.

These past few weeks, I have been irritating PMC members. More often than not, I did not keep morality in mind, knowing that my actions didn’t have to harm others. Time and time again, I did not resist the urge to not abuse members, simply to gain some sort of sick pleasure out of it. In the past, I had to get my laughs out of members I thought lesser of me, but what if I didn’t have to annoy those members? What if this new ideal that I hope I will achieve will keep me from attacking any member?

Many internet users, like me, often believe we have the right to say whatever we want, do whatever we want, and perform whatever we want in order to reach our goals. But hasn’t this lead to conflicts with those who believe the exact same thing? How often in my desire to reach a goal did I put my needs first, ignoring others or causing senseless irritation to someone? Didn’t I often act coldly, losing what it means to be a human along the way? I got what I wanted, but to what cost to other members?

I understand that bronies were the blunt of my personal attacks. I attacked them for being different – not different in a way that people like, but in my mind, different in a negative way. I am not alone in my dislike for bronies, but where does dislike become bigotry? Where does bigotry become spite for any brony, no matter their level of love for MLP? I apologize to any brony I have insulted. I now see that bronies are my equals – they are human. I cannot change that.

To popular members whom I had insulted their creations and work, namely Snowylips, 1UpMiner, Antiqua, and many others, whom I can’t name for an obvious reason – I cannot count how many members I have attacked. I honestly apologize for what I have done. Your work was you work. I had no right to come in and attack it, and attempt to contradict it. I think the reason I did it was to get you and your friends to counter-attack, and for me to counter that counter attack. I truly, honestly apologize.

I just hope I stand by what I say when I say this. I’m trying to stop this. I’m trying to stop myself irritating other PMC members. I’m trying to stop myself causing flame between other PMC members. I may not have done the best thing, but I always got it done. At least I’m not the only one out there. And I don’t want to be one of those anymore. I am sick of that lifestyle.

Hopefully, I will never revert to those ways. If I am no longer accepted on PMC, I understand. If I am still accepted, well, thank you. Honestly. This site changed me for the worst – now I hope it’ll change me for the better.

-Nymus