I remember that when I was really little I never even got to the spanking part. The moment I heard 3.. I would be flailing around trying to fix or apologize for whatever I did wrong. XD

I don't think that ever really had that affect on me. My dad did use his hand because it was the easiest thing he had on him (at least that's what I believe). Whenever I become "defiant", he'll raise his hand to show that he "means business". After a while I knew what I should and shouldn't do, so spanking wasn't always used. I haven't had a spanking since I was.. 3?

But I can clearly see how little ones could associate the hands with something negative.

One thing my dad told me was that something you never want to do is spank your kid with your hand. You always want to use something like a paddle because you do not want your kid to associate your hand with punishment, but with love and kindness. Also, after a while, spanking is not really a viable punishment when your kids get old enough and that is when it is time to start with removal of privileges and long discussions of fun (grounding etc.)

Definitely! Nothing wrong with being the cool parent! That thar be a compliment!
(Not speaking from experience)

And it's cool that you're being an actual parent. Your parenting style is the best way to go.
A lot of parents are either parenting under the style of "Best friends" or "Dictator".
My parents were a slightly weird mix of both.. my dad being more strict, but my mom being more lenient.
My dad gladly gave me the spankings when I deserved it... and boy I did deserve them.

That is the way to go. Be the cool parent so all your kid's friends want to hang at your place, then you can make sure that nothing crazy is going on and still let them have space.

well, I don't wanna pat myself on the back TOOOOOO much, but I have been told (by my kids' friends) that I am the coolest Mom they know.

I don't know whether to take that as a compliment, or be scared by it. Heh!

Agreed. I am barely more than a teenager myself, and I recall that the majority of my generation shared the qualities that I mentioned before. The coming generation seems much the same to me as my generation does. I also agree with Carole that parenting makes for a lot of what a child is shaped to be, something that even my mother noticed in her time when she questioned her parents why other kids like her had turned out so badly near the end of high school and stuff.

Yeah that's cool. Didn't mean to make assumptions of your assumptions It's just a funny label that I've noticed come up a lot in these types of topics that probably turns some people off from reading further. Maybe some of that 90%?

Ah Cyprezz... I'm not assuming that people who are sheep don't care about the world... I'm assuming they're waiting for someone to tell them how to fix it, rather than looking for their own way to fix it.

Most people (I believe the stats are 90%?) prefer to be given instruction on how to go about their daily lives. The other 10% prefer to give the instruction.

In the animal world, for a hunter, sometimes the WRONG decision is preferable to no decision at all. And sometimes leaders have to make decisions that really suck. That's why it's easier (and safer) to let others make the choices.

However, I prefer to be a shepherd than a sheep. It's just my thing, you know?

I think it's really healthy to think about the bigger picture. Refreshing really. We tend to censor expressing thoughts that we don't fully understand. Most things worth thinking about are so complex you are going to be wrong about aspects of it. It's easier to go with the flow and never be wrong but it's not healthy to do it all the time.

I personally go through phases of researching and thinking about how and why things are. It's fun but depending on the subject, it can be enlightening and/or overwhelming. Phases work best for me. Even if I don't come to any conclusions, it affects smaller decisions in my life, my understanding of the world, myself and the people in it. My favorite topics to think about will never be fully understood. It would be a boring world if everything was explainable.

On a somewhat related note, I've never liked how some will refer to people as sheep assuming they never care about the what's happening in the world, good or bad. I understand the reference but everyone acts differently when put in different situations, you change the way you act when around a stranger, parent, friend, lover, boss, enemy, public forum, etc. You might "BAAAA" in front of a stranger but howl at the moon with friends

I think the internet is the most important freedom of expression that we have today.

rhys, how have you managed to start this disscussion. all it started off as was us having some fun in IT

phew, glad you like it, i am always worried that i say something stupid when i post my thoughts like this, thanks:)

nice post Danovich! and you're right. It's the differences between us that cause us to fear, and anger and hatred are simply fear in disguise.

As much as the Internet can be used for stupid things (LOLcats) and illegal things (drug dealing) and immoral things (child pornography) it has also let us meet and relate to people all over the world, instantly. And we're finding that most people really aren't all that different from us in the first place.

Evolution takes time. Nothing is harder to change than our way of thinking. But to do that, we have to keep taking the first step (over and over) and that is "question everything." Take nothing at face value, particularly when it comes from the mouths of salesmen, lawyers and politicians. Demand answers, and keep demanding them until you get a real answer, not a wishy-washy non-concrete politician answer.

Social change IS taking place. Keep watching, things are better than the media wants us to think.

Boomer

Surathani
Yes and people are free to make mistakes, unless you want to live the book 1984, its the way it needs to stay. Mistakes make up more of our wisdom through realization, than any book or ideologue.

Actually society would likely have less problems if it was like the book 1984. It would not be that cheerful or a society, but a better society it would be.

ok, about this, the government we live in is not much different than the government discribed in orwell's 1984. i may sound like a hippy or a conspiracy nut so i wont go in details, but there are many things that the government does to restrict the informationflow to the public. they do it in such a subtle way that most of the time we vote for the things that restrict us because we are blinded by fear. see the patriot law after 9/11, all of the IMO illigal invasions into other countries. WE are the bad guys not them. the amarican government is planning to filter the internet like what is being done in china and russia, they do it to ''protect'' their citizens from child pornography while, trust me, you never find it on the internet, it is just not there/unreachable.
same with the anti-terrorist invasions, some statistics here, in the year 2001 3000 people died from terrorist attacks, while over 600000 die from heart diseases who are preventable, while much much much much more money is spent on anti terrorism, and some crazy law is passed wich gives the goverment all right and power to neglect someone's privacy.

ok enough bitching on real problems, lets filosophise(dunno if that is a real word, im not english)about stuff

first of all, how bad one form of government or leadership or religion or even thought may seem, in the end it doesn't matter if the whole world only knows one kind of it.
for example, government. you have, communism, totalitarism, socialism, capitalism, etc.
if everyone were to live under the same totalitarian system, nobody would be complaining. even if the whole concept were to be horrible, if there is no other option, there is no option to complain. the world needs to act as a whole, a unity.
all of the friction between different types of people is understandable. it takes time to adjust to each other. with the breakthrough called internet the whole world is connected and in that way people with differences are connected. slowly groups of people are growing towards each other, people are adjusting their thoughts every minute, it is a wonderfull gift. but having to adjust to each other gives differences on how to adjust, that is what makes the problem so time-consuming. creating a world wide ''government'' or ''unity'' is a process that will take ages to complete.
you can see how it happened in the past. first there were small family's or groups of people. they started living in tribes, they had to adjust to eachother. after a while villages were created. as more and more people came together different cities became aware of eachother becouse of the awareness of other people. wars and differences late the cities began working together in city-states, multiple cities working together.
after more and more stuff like this you have the situation of around 2 ages ago. there were all different countries, each on their own. at first they hated each other, but slowly they grew towards each other, first opening their borders to each other, agreeing on trade agreements later, joining in an union with more countries and even adopting the same currency later on(talking about europe)

so while it may look like everyone hates each other, it is just part of the progress called social evolution

I have no doubt in my mind our generation is going down the toilet. I was homeschooled my entire life, and looking back I am so glad I was. Not only did I not have to deal with insane amounts of addiction and peer pressure I had the freedom of making my own choices, and being a leading factor in the direction of my own life. Personally I think drugs are a waste of time, money, and health risk, but...at the same time MC is. I guess my point is, even without my public school upbringing, I'm screwed. To each his own. =/

umm the UK is parliamentary, which I would rather see. When it was a Monarchy it was as terrible as the rest. No absolute rulers and no church should ever exist as a head of a country on this planet again. We have thousand of years of history to prove that to us.

If we were ruled by a dictator, most likely we would NOT be able to have these conversations in the first place.

Surathani

robotv56I wouldn't mind having a dictator rule our country as long as he (or she) was cleaning everything up!

That is a dual edged sword and would say to anyone, even under the age of 18, be careful what you wish for. Wow, just wow. I am not a Teabagger in fact I am the exact opposite, but your advocating no constitution at all. I am sure you have had some tough times, but haven't we all.

Why not switch over to a monarchy? I mean the UK had it for a while and they turned out all right....

And about that view from the cliff, is it a good scenic view, or is it rather bland, that would be the deciding factor on whether or not I would want to stand at the edge of the cliff in the first place

See that is the point to all this right here on the tip of a needle. Who defines a good view? you? Do you define it for everyone, or should you be allowed too? We are a world of different people, different interests and thresholds, what is good for you may not be good for another. If others have different priorities, are you allowed to define by measure on controls, what should be important to them?

robotv56I wouldn't mind having a dictator rule our country as long as he (or she) was cleaning everything up!

That is a dual edged sword and would say to anyone, even under the age of 18, be careful what you wish for. Wow, just wow. I am not a Teabagger in fact I am the exact opposite, but your advocating no constitution at all. I am sure you have had some tough times, but haven't we all.

80% of my school does pot. And being the drug and alcohol hater that I am school is hell. Our generation has a SERIOUS problem, and it starts with our parents, teachers, and pop culture. This is when some dictation should step in! Seriously! I wouldn't mind having a dictator rule our country as long as he (or she) was cleaning everything up! NO Ke$ha! NO Katy Perry! NO 50 cent! NO Little Wayne! NO Pot! NO abusive parents! NO abusive boyfriends/girlfriends! NO stupid school systems! Yes, after that then we would have a clean generation!

P.S. FYI, Those who are under the age of 18 have less rights than dogs, thats why bad parents are such a big problem, because children can't do anything about it! Bad parents raise children to be bad parents thus overwhelming the population with bad people.

Yes that is a byproduct of? An over reaction to a terrorism issue that the EU, has dealt with for decades. Fear mongering from leadership that also seems to want to fall into a christian vs Islamic precept of crusades, and avocation of xenophobia of everything not originating from America. Your message is exactly what i mean, when I posted..

"To make it illegal to stand on a cliff for our own safety, removes just another little thing that makes us uniquely human, the ability to enjoy that view."

You cant live in, or dictate fear while throwing a blanket over the trials and tribulations of life, it is how you deal with these life issues that allows for growth. We need more common sense and less rules, and a regression of what seems to be a theological movement brewing in this country currently. Take "god" out of government, and put is back where he only belongs, in our head's or with a close circle of believers.

Surathani
Um your talking about Iran, a Theocracy. Real freedom is having the ethical wherewithal to have temptation in front of you, but the personal integrity not to partake. What she is talking about is, yes rules are needed, but some things come down to a individual, and always have. Enforcement as a blanket is a police state. If standing on a cliff looking at a view, will cause some people to fall over, than so be it. To make it illegal to stand on a cliff for our own safety, removes just another little thing that makes us uniquely human, the ability to enjoy that view.

And the US nowadays has real freedom? We may have some of the most freedom, but after the patriot act, and 9/11 the US has upped its strictness on anything that could be terrorism be it actually or not, a little too much.

I would personally never do it, simply because I don't need it, but weed is fine. If anything, tobacco should be illegal.

Direct death from marijuana is extremely low.

Boomer

creeperCarole
You think you need MORE rules? How about, rather than rules, more like a code of ethics? Rather than being told what to do and what not to do, be taught to think through the consequences of your actions, and make the choice based on that?
Yes, I believe everyone needs a framework to work within, but rather than hard and fast rules, let's make our choices based on how those choices will affect us and people around us. It means we have to be responsible for our actions and accept the outcome of our choices, without trying to lay blame on other people.
As it harms none, do what ye will.

More rules if they are good enough will provide the structure and framework along with keeping ethics in check. If it doesn't do that then the rules are likely not good enough and need to be changed.

Um your talking about Iran, a Theocracy. Real freedom is having the ethical wherewithal to have temptation in front of you, but the personal integrity not to partake. What she is talking about is, yes rules are needed, but some things come down to a individual, and always have. Enforcement as a blanket is a police state. If standing on a cliff looking at a view, will cause some people to fall over, than so be it. To make it illegal to stand on a cliff for our own safety, removes just another little thing that makes us uniquely human, the ability to enjoy that view.

creeperCarole
You think you need MORE rules? How about, rather than rules, more like a code of ethics? Rather than being told what to do and what not to do, be taught to think through the consequences of your actions, and make the choice based on that?
Yes, I believe everyone needs a framework to work within, but rather than hard and fast rules, let's make our choices based on how those choices will affect us and people around us. It means we have to be responsible for our actions and accept the outcome of our choices, without trying to lay blame on other people.
As it harms none, do what ye will.

More rules if they are good enough will provide the structure and framework along with keeping ethics in check. If it doesn't do that then the rules are likely not good enough and need to be changed.

creeperCarole

Boomer

Nah, I believe we need some more structure in our lives, heck the government already does it in more subtle than direct ways. I don't believe we would lose the scale we use to rise, it would be more ordered of a scale than the open one that is used now.

You think you need MORE rules? How about, rather than rules, more like a code of ethics? Rather than being told what to do and what not to do, be taught to think through the consequences of your actions, and make the choice based on that?

If all you ever experienced was night time, you couldn't describe light. If all you ever experience is pain, how will you know what joy is? Life is a balance of light/dark, good/evil, joy/pain and positives/negatives.

(Yes, I sit around thinking about this stuff when I'm not playing minecraft.)

Yes, I believe everyone needs a framework to work within, but rather than hard and fast rules, let's make our choices based on how those choices will affect us and people around us. It means we have to be responsible for our actions and accept the outcome of our choices, without trying to lay blame on other people.

As it harms none, do what ye will.

Wise words, totally and completely agree.

Boomer

Surathani
Well I just suggested two structors for life in the post, Buddhism and Taoism, both very interesting and fit into daily life rather than an a over arching religion. Worth reading about if not done so already, Though prolly I should shut my mouth on religion here. I mean we are all here to create and have a good time doing it. Cheers for taking the time to talk.

Peace,
Surathani.

One overarching religion would be good, would have gotten rid of plenty of wars based on religion way back in the day. Even now, it would cut back on terrorism caused by extreme religious groups....

OMG, ok. I am really done now.

There is a quote, don't know who wrote it.... but it applies here. If you feel me, you will be able to see what it is really saying...Dont take it on the surface, something to ponder.

"What the world needs is less Buddha's and more Buddhist's, then we would have world peace"

Boomer

Nah, I believe we need some more structure in our lives, heck the government already does it in more subtle than direct ways. I don't believe we would lose the scale we use to rise, it would be more ordered of a scale than the open one that is used now.

You think you need MORE rules? How about, rather than rules, more like a code of ethics? Rather than being told what to do and what not to do, be taught to think through the consequences of your actions, and make the choice based on that?

If all you ever experienced was night time, you couldn't describe light. If all you ever experience is pain, how will you know what joy is? Life is a balance of light/dark, good/evil, joy/pain and positives/negatives.

(Yes, I sit around thinking about this stuff when I'm not playing minecraft.)

Yes, I believe everyone needs a framework to work within, but rather than hard and fast rules, let's make our choices based on how those choices will affect us and people around us. It means we have to be responsible for our actions and accept the outcome of our choices, without trying to lay blame on other people.

As it harms none, do what ye will.

Surathani
Well I just suggested two structors for life in the post, Buddhism and Taoism, both very interesting and fit into daily life rather than an a over arching religion. Worth reading about if not done so already, Though prolly I should shut my mouth on religion here. I mean we are all here to create and have a good time doing it. Cheers for taking the time to talk.

Peace,
Surathani.

One overarching religion would be good, would have gotten rid of plenty of wars based on religion way back in the day. Even now, it would cut back on terrorism caused by extreme religious groups....

Boomer

Surathani
Than I respectfully and totally disagree, at would suggest you read some Joseph Conrad about the duality of human nature, in a general Buddhist way, life is meant to be a struggle. Drugs represent a portion of that, might want to look into the Taoist Yin and Yang, the film Legend, yada yada. In other words, you cannot have light without dark, as soon as the dark is gone, we lose the scale we use to rise. And 1984 is the road we have been on, believe me, its the last road we want to continue to walk.

Sunshine is my quest. ~Winston Churchill

Nah, I believe we need some more structure in our lives, heck the government already does it in more subtle than direct ways. I don't believe we would lose the scale we use to rise, it would be more ordered of a scale than the open one that is used now.

Well I just suggested two structors for life in the post, Buddhism and Taoism, both very interesting and fit into daily life rather than an a over arching religion. Worth reading about if not done so already, Though prolly I should shut my mouth on religion here. I mean we are all here to create and have a good time doing it. Cheers for taking the time to talk.

Peace,
Surathani.

Surathani
Than I respectfully and totally disagree, at would suggest you read some Joseph Conrad about the duality of human nature, in a general Buddhist way, life is meant to be a struggle. Drugs represent a portion of that, might want to look into the Taoist Yin and Yang, the film Legend, yada yada. In other words, you cannot have light without dark, as soon as the dark is gone, we lose the scale we use to rise. And 1984 is the road we have been on, believe me, its the last road we want to continue to walk.

Sunshine is my quest. ~Winston Churchill

Nah, I believe we need some more structure in our lives, heck the government already does it in more subtle than direct ways. I don't believe we would lose the scale we use to rise, it would be more ordered of a scale than the open one that is used now.

Boomer

Surathani
Yes and people are free to make mistakes, unless you want to live the book 1984, its the way it needs to stay. Mistakes make up more of our wisdom through realization, than any book or ideologue.

Actually society would likely have less problems if it was like the book 1984. It would not be that cheerful or a society, but a better society it would be.

Than I respectfully and totally disagree, at would suggest you read some Joseph Conrad about the duality of human nature, in a general Buddhist way, life is meant to be a struggle. Drugs represent a portion of that, might want to look into the Taoist Yin and Yang, the film Legend, yada yada. In other words, you cannot have light without dark, as soon as the dark is gone, we lose the scale we use to rise. And 1984 is the road we have been on, believe me, its the last road we want to continue to walk. This also comes down to what you see as a societal problem, you may feel that the possibility of drug addiction warrants there removal, when I would argue that we have been corralled into thinking as one economic consumer buying into anything that claims the high road. How we deal with our issues is what defines us, and banishment is always a reactionary action when after the said compound is banished, along comes something new. i dislike guns but the argument holds water, guns dont kill people, people do. Man can feed himself with a fork or use it as a weapon, banish the fork?

Sunshine is my quest. ~Winston Churchill

Surathani
Yes and people are free to make mistakes, unless you want to live the book 1984, its the way it needs to stay. Mistakes make up more of our wisdom through realization, than any book or ideologue.

Actually society would likely have less problems if it was like the book 1984. It would not be that cheerful or a society, but a better society it would be.

Boomer

Surathani
Sorry, the federal government even concluded Marijuana use is no more addictive than sex, it has been proven non toxic over 5000 years of use. The only addiction associated with it truly is the want to partake of something pleasurable over and over again. It is personalities that carry addiction, and that is a personal issue, not societies

But personalities/personal issues make up societies which makes them go hand in hand. And even if the addiction is caused by the feeling of pleasure caused by the drug, it is still an addiction. And non-toxic wise, it may be non-toxic biological wise, but what about any stupid things people may do while high off of it?

Yes and people are free to make mistakes, unless you want to live the book 1984, its the way it needs to stay. Mistakes make up more of our wisdom through realization, than any book or ideologue.

creeperCarole I've done it. I've gone into their schools myself and taught classes on "how to think for themselves!

If you were to ask me what I feel is wrong with your generation, I would totally agree with creeperCarole. Your generation has been failed by many of us in our 40's, we have not thought you how to think for yourselves and as we celebrate groupthink, and push you into groups that what we deem "safe". This drug issue, plays into this, they laugh at you for not trying drugs, who cares, half of them are just saying it to look cool. But blanket demonization is something the US in particular has been very guilty as of late, and it is having terrible effects in schools and on our youth. Time to question the group, authority, and everything that has bearing in your life. You will find a healthy dose of skepticism is worth its weight in gold, when it comes to your quality of life experience.