Modded server

hey i am looking to start a let's play for minecraft but i want to do this via a server and with mods ..
mods like simpleores or any mod that adds ore's and items . (pretty mutch the only and main thing i want)
then i would like to add mods like backpack and momobs ands such .

you know just broaden the game experiance .
now i can get this working on singleplayer BUT with the latest forge the X-RAY mod does not work anymore .
and i use this mod for 3 things . 1 to use the light mode while recording to avoid dark footage . 2: for the coördinates in the top left corner 3: when using fraps my frame rate sometimes drops and then xray let's me quikely force my client to reload chunks.
if i turn the xray function or any other function of X-Ray on and off again .and then my fps goes from like 10 back up to 50 for a few minutes.

now i have been searching for a while now but i cannot get this to work . even when i install mods on the server i still get kicked off becouse i do not have fml . and then when i install FML and log in fml loads and then the game stays black screened .
if anyone knows how i can get
X-Ray
Simpleores
Backpack
and momobs or creatures
to work together i would be your slave for the rest of my life
also if this is possible for a server i am going to make an epic server

thanks in advance