]Sample -"P-please wake up, please I'll do anything just open your eyes, damn it open your eyes" My voice began to get hoarse from screaming for him to stay alive. My lungs ached and I could sense blood dripping from a painful gash on my forehead, except none of that mattered in that moment because I just wanted his eyes to open. I wanted his body to have any reaction anything would be better than him lying there oblivious to my screams telling him he couldn't leave everyone yet. All physical pain I felt at the moment could be considered nothing compared to the emotional turmoil I was experiencing.
I could hear the sirens of ambulances coming though they were the background noise to my screams and plea's saying nothing would ever be okay again if he didn't live to see another day. The heat still radiating off of my body was completely ironic to the ice cold stabbing I felt in my heart. My hands are still shaking and hitting his body in a last vain attempt to make him open his eyes when the first ambulance arrives, but what good will that do? How would it save him now?
"Honey , Can you hear me?" Her voice sounded kind as she tried to pull me away but I was stubborn in my attempts to stay at his side. I wasn't going to respond to her kind words until he could. She grabbed my arms in a feeble attempt to lift me up and away. I resisted as much as I was able to before I collapsed of exhaustion.
"Please let me stay with him, I'll do anything" I used every last ounce of my energy pleading with her. My once strong voice now reduced to hardly a squeak causing her to give me one of those pitied smiles I knew I would grow to hate. She and someone else lifted me up and despite my efforts to get out of their grip my body was becoming too weak to even move. I just wanted to give into the pain coursing every part of my body, but he was much more important.
"Listen, darling I can tell making sure your friend is okay seems like the most important thing right now, however we need to get you to a hospital" She spoke with a gentle tone that reminded me of my mother. My mind just couldn't grasp it. Why was life being so damn unfair? As much as I tried to fight it the next thing I knew I was on the bed in a hazy state with my eyes slowly closing.
The last thing I thought before succumbing to unconsciousness was that I was never going to see him again. I just couldn't seem to come to terms with the fact he was gone. All I would have left of him would be memories that could be considered of no value compared to his infectious laugh and a bright smile
-[Present]-
I could hear the music blasting before I was even on my floor of the apartment complex. To say I felt frustrated would be an understatement . I got soaked from the rain pouring down on my head , My dress ripped and now I had to come home to my obnoxious roommate throwing a party. I stomped my way up the stairs and stood in front of the door trying to regain any sense of calmness I ever held.
I swung open the door trying to make my voice loud and angry before screaming " Why the hell is there a party in my damn apartment" It was hard to be heard over the blasting sounds that I would be sure to have to listen about for the next week from our landlord. No eyes turned to face me as the horny teenagers continued grinding on each other with no sense of the word morals. When I agreed to letting him stay here I should have known this would be a common occurrence.
I pushed my way through the hot bodies trying not to get sick at the fact I had random people nasty sweaty bodies pushed up against mine. Rather, I decided to think of ideas to make it so that today is the last day Calum Hood would be alive. After escaping to the other side from the gag inducing hormone fest I yanked Calum around from where he was flirting up a blonde slut.
"Calum, what do you think you are doing?" All sense of patience I had ever acquired in my 19 years of life flew out the window as my face turned red from yelling. My voice even at the loudest octave I could go held hardly any sound over the loud music. I was so angry the only thing in my head was how to make him slowly die a painful, torturous death , or make sure his "little hood" never makes a move again.
"Chill buzz kill were just having a little bit of fun here" His mocking tone remained constantly in my ears. He never talked to me in any other tone and I felt so sick and tired of the way he treated me. Is it so hard to ask to have one calm night chilling on the couch with pizza and Netflix? I knew rooming with someone that had the total opposite personality of me would be a problem, but I didn't think he could be so immature that it would be this big of a problem.
"A buzz kill Calum are you seriously saying that right now?" I didn't know my voice could get so loud but this time more party goers began watching the scene between us unfolding. I must have looked so pathetic standing there with wet hair a ripped dress and a red face screaming at Calum.
His face held no expression other than humor , how dare he find this funny. "Don't be jealous that everyone hates you so you can't find anyone to come to a party" Damn he knows how to hit it right in your heart. He always does this,he fights with mean words and it never seems to hit him that words can hurt.
"Just , Just Get everyone the hell out and don't speak to me" My voice broke as I screamed one last time taking pity on my throat that was going to be sore for at least the next day. His face actually held emotion this time as he started moving to get the people to leave the apartment but I turned before he could see the tears falling out of my eyes.
I made my way to my bedroom before slamming my door and flopping down onto my bed screaming into my pillow. All my life I had tried to ignore the hurtful words of peers who taunted little rhyme songs like Smell Elle or Elle belongs in hell,. Yet for some reason every single one of his hurtful words sting more than all of those mean kids words did combined. I groaned at the mess of mascara and snot on my pillow as I tried to ignore his faint knocks on my door. I ended up crying myself to sleep with the feeling settling deep in the bottom of my stomach that I just couldn't shake.
That wouldn't be the last time I would cry myself to sleep because of Him
Sample 2 -
The door to our apartment shook with his loud bangs on the outside and I was genuinely afraid if I didn't let him in soon he would knock the door down. I sighed so tired from the constant nights of no sleep his behavior in a never ending repeat night after night always the same. I unraveled myself from the warm blankets I spent day after day hiding underneath. My feet padded on the shiver inducing floor of hallway towards the pounding noise that was very different to the music I once heard at this time of night instead.
I pulled open the door stepping aside as he drunkenly stumbled through. His were eyes glazed over and whether it was from tears or just the pure amount of alcohol he had consumed I would never be able to tell. I smelt it on him similarly to an air of stink suffocating me , making it so that my insides were more clenched than ever before. His hands reached me before I was able to back away. The next thing I knew I found myself pushed up against the wall.
"How could you ?" His voice was enraged holding so much anger I didn't know a single person had the capacity to withstand. It was so loud it echoed off the walls of our apartment much like his music used to. My shoulder ached from the pure amount of force he used to hold me against the wall. It's not only anger I could see in his face but I practically felt the pain radiating from him into the air around us.
"Please let me go I'm s-so so sorry" My voice at this point blocked from the substantial amount of air I was used to sounded meager and weak much like I felt everyday since. I felt so small and vulnerable like I was shrinking into myself and I was given no other choice but to close my eyes and prepare for the worst. I felt the blame of not only him but everyone who knew me weighing down on me and I didn't know how long I sustained the energy to survive.
He dropped me on the floor my words hadn't done anything to calm the storm that was brewing between us. His strong demeanor faltered for a second and I felt pity because it was my fault. He laughed like everything that had happened was so damn funny and it stunned me. "Sorry doesn't bring him back does it" Even saying that he was still bitterly laughing and I didn't know what to do.
"Please I-" That's all I got out before I felt a hot burning sensation across my cheek. Before I had the time to register what had happened the door had slammed and he was gone. He had left me on the floor a red hand print marking my face where he used to place gentle kisses. He left the emotions and sparks we had together. He left all of the anger and hurt that made the air in our apartment so thick it felt like trudging through quicksand. It's funny how a relationships by society's values was deemed perfect could change from love to bitter hate so quickly that it gave me whiplash. I can't blame him though , I know it's my fault.
-[Present]-
When I woke up I could still taste the bittersweet pain of Calum's words in my mouth. In a frustrating way I knew just because of one eventful night it wasn't right of me to kick Calum out so I was forced to face the problem. That was not going to be easy as confrontations are absolutely not my kind of thing. I slowly made up my mind to heave myself out of the comforts of my warm bed and into the freezing air.
Immediately upon the exit of my room I was ready to yell and scream. Cluttered around our home were empty or spilt red cups , random trash strewed across things and glass broken. Walking even two feet in my hallway it was difficult to avoid demolished objects on the floor. If you imagine the aftermath of a tornado that would be what would classify as my home.
As much as I could I avoided stepping on anything that could be harmful to my sensitive feet as I stomped my way over to his bedroom. I knocked on his door as loudly as possible because I wanted to be sure it would hurt his no doubt aching head. I heard a groan and some stomping as a likely grumpy Calum trudged through whatever mess his room was to stop my banging on the door.
"I am absolutely not cleaning this mess up alone, come on" I grabbed his arm and dragged him through piles of trash to where our living room was located. I tried not to laugh as he held his aching head. So long as he didn't throw up anywhere besides the bathroom nothing would be a problem.
As we started cleaning an uncomfortable silence settled upon us. I was still too angry to talk to him about anything other than him needing to clean and he probably was avoiding talking because of his hangover. He kept opening and closing his mouth like a gaping fish as if he was going to say something except nothing would come out so we settled back into tension.
"You know I'm sorry Elle" His voice was murmured and riddled with guilt like he was afraid to say sorry. I couldn't forgive him that easily because even when every emotion someone feels is guilt it doesn't take back the hurtful words that came out of their mouth. It does change the aching pain that still felt like him stabbing me. I didn't respond and instead tried to walk away but he was fast in catching my wrist. He was much more gentle then.
"Pleas Elle , You know how I get when I'm drunk" You know sometimes when you are angry with someone and they only say one thing but it leads to so many more things in your head that you can't help but blow up? That's how I felt when Calum stopped me to blame all his painful actions on the influence of alcohol. As I glared at him I was at my tipping point.
"Hey jackass drunken words are sober thoughts" My voice held so much venom that I didn't even know I was capable of. I proceeded to slap him leaving a burning red mark across his cheek before sauntering out of the apartment not even caring I was still in my pajamas and bunny slippers.
"The boys are coming over by the way" I groaned at him and his ways. Rather than a meaningful sorry come out of his mouth I got told I would have to deal with four messy , sweaty and rude grown men that acted like young children. Luck was not on my side.
That wouldn't be the last time I would slap him.
Age ; 15
Skype - nelly.rose01
