#1: A woman was horrified to find a fly in her tea. The waiter took her cup and went into the kitchen and returned with a fresh cup of tea. She shouted, "You brought me the same tea!" How did she know?: She couldn't see well?
#2:A petshop owner had a parrot with a sign on its cage that said "Parrot repeats everything it hears." A young man bought the parrot and for two weeks he spoke to it and it didn't say a word. He returned the parrot but the shopkeeper said he never lied about the parrot. How can this be?: The shopkeeper lied!
#3:Which word in the English language becomes shorter when it is lengthened?: hmmm uhhh the? yeah I am dumb
#4:You give someone a dollar. You are this person's brother, but the person is not your brother. How can that be? IT IS MY SISTER
#5:A psychologist goes to a village in Africa and decides to compare foot size to intelligence. He notes that in general, as foot size increases, so does intelligence. How can this be? he is very old and has lots of smartness
#6:A murderer is condemned to death. He has to choose between three rooms. The first is full of raging fires, the second is full of assassins with loaded guns, and the third is full of lions that haven't eaten in 3 years. Which room is safest for him? The lions
#7:He has married many women, but has never been married. Who is he? someone...a someone. (YES I AM TRYING I AM DUMB AREN'T I? xD)
#8:How many times can you subtract the number 5 from 25? ohhh Some Divition!
5 ÷ 25 = 5
#9: Alice is walking throught the forest of forgetfulness. She wants to know what day of the week it is. She stops and asks a lion and a unicorn. Now the lion lies all of the time on Monday, Tuesday, and Wednesday. The unicorn always lies on Thursday, Friday and Saturday. Alice asks the lion what day it is, he says, "Well, yesterday was one of my lying days." Alice can't figure it out just from the lion's answer so she asks the unicorn and the unicorn says, "Yesterday was also one of my lying days." What day is it?: hmmm well, I think the unicorn might be right, and lion? well, he is just making it CONFUSING! but WAIT Sunday wasn't added to the list. is it Sunday? must be...
#10: Alice is walking throught the forest of forgetfulness. She wants to know what day of the week it is. She stops and asks a lion and a unicorn. Now the lion lies all of the time on Monday, Tuesday, and Wednesday. The unicorn always lies on Thursday, Friday and Saturday. Alice asks the lion what day it is, he says, "Well, yesterday was one of my lying days." Alice can't figure it out just from the lion's answer so she asks the unicorn and the unicorn says, "Yesterday was also one of my lying days." What day is it? THIS IS THE SAME QUESTION!!!! Again, Sunday
#11:What has feet and legs, and nothing else? feet and legs? well, animals don't have arms!!!! Sooo it must be a animal. Correct?
#12: What is easy to get into, but hard to get out of?: Trouble
#13: You throw away the outside and cook the inside. Then you eat the outside and throw away the inside. What did you eat? umm I know this will be gross, but a bug?
#14: You throw away the outside and cook the inside. Then you eat the outside and throw away the inside. What did you eat? same question
#15: What can you catch but not throw? a cold. No not a "brrr it's cold" cold, a "oh I don't feel well *sneezes*" cold.
#16: What goes around the world but stays in a corner? umm HONESTLY i do not know. yeah my answers must be wrong -.-
#17: Give me food, and I will live; give me water, and I will die. What am I? A PERSON ALLERGIC TO WATER!!!!! Omg, It must not be that
Looks like meh job is DONE
