To put it more technically, when they wrote the Xbox version of Minecraft, they actually had to completely redo the entire game in a different programming language (MC is written in Java, MC4XB is written in C#) so each time a Minecraft update comes out, it's not as easy as just drag'n'drop some crap over, they actually have to redo the entire update in a different language. Just gotta be patient.
Never contact a programmer unless you've seen some of their work. Most "programmers" out there are what you describe, attention seeking kids who want to seem more techsavy or feel like ruining someone else's hard work. Sorry about your incident. Beware, everyone.
Please, everybody, RAM DOES NOT MEAN PERFORMANCE. There is a point in which RAM stops helping, it's not like just cramming your computer full of it will reduce lag.