(Picrew Link)

~

The words people use to describe me
Are like dichotomies that somehow coexist
I don't fit into any set group
I'm an archetypal misfit
My personality is atypical
Its askew from the norm

A childhood of trauma
An adolescence of more
Some people crack under the pressure
While others grow from the weight
For me I walked both paths
They never parted ways
Trauma after trauma left my heart in a frozen state
Trauma after trauma made my mind distort out of shape

Left in a room isolated and alone
Hours passing yet no one knows
A hole in my memories
A rift in my soul
A change in my perception
A darkness at my core

Accelerated maturity lacking natural development
A villain by age eight
A mastermind at eleven
Age fifteen
Seeking help through deception
Slipping my past under a hefty mattress
If I can't see it
Then it never happened

I'll be fine on my own
I don't need anyone
I can't let anyone in
But the years passed by
And regrettably I was mistaken

I'm a conglomeration of mismatched parts
What shouldn't naturally work together
Has somehow fused together as one
Making my inner person obnoxiously complex

I'm an onlooker of the world behind a thick pane of glass
I see people walk by
I see them interact
But whether they are the best of friends or have only just met
I realize they have something I lack

I try to make friends but it always ends the same
I don't know what that means
What does it mean to befriend
I can't comprehend

I cop out on the truth to escape reality
I try to say I have social anxiety
But in all actuality
I have nothing to offer the closer someone tries to get to me
Its an ugly truth I'm constantly hiding
What I would give to have what is missing inside me

~