Codpiece (DC Comics)

A short backstory of the greatest superhero to exist:

During high school, a young Codpiece (real name unknown) decided to ask a girl to go out with him. But he was rejected for being too short, he was 5’6 at most. As he was still a beta, he thought that she was talking about the size of his pork sword. His insecurity affected him on many more dates throughout college and adult life. At one point he starts cussing his date out and grabbing her by the arm. He turns into an incel, claiming all women are shallow. This results in him being dragged out by security. He goes to a therapist of sorts to see if he can extend his length, but that provides no results. He is pushed over the edge after a woman slightly teases him after a one-night stand. So he spends his time welding, creating a weapon of mass destruction, one might even say a weapon of ASS destruction. A red multi-purpose weapon placed near his crotch area. Finally, he has the size he’s always wanted… but this trouser snake can double as a machine gun, cannon and missile launcher. Now that he’s reached his ideal alpha male status, he decides to walk into a bank and rob it. He lights the bank up with his gargantuan Womb Raider. This grabs the attention of the Doom Patrol, who begin fighting him in the middle of a city. But he’s only stopped when Coagula (Kate Goodwin) takes him by surprise. She COMPLIMENTS him, boosts his ego. This has never happened before… Codpiece is confused, taken off guard. That is when his metal schlong is melted off by Coagula. And that is the end of Codpiece. Some rejoice at the death of this superhero; some are still waiting for the return of the king. But either way, Codpiece’s influence on comics is unmatched.