Vacation gone wrong

Have you ever wondered how to get to the nether without using a portal?
Well I decided lets make a little story about it.
You make a dash of bezel with some tomatoes. You outline it into a smiley face with horns and boom you have made a portal to the nether which only goes one way. but now do you get back? You must now collect 3 items which are gold nuggets, a gas tear and wither skull. The first moment you step into the fiery blazes of the nether you start to feel the heat. Your lucky you landed in a nether fortress, lucky for you its full of wither skeletons and blazes. after a day you finally collect a skull. Hungry you decide to beat a pig-men child, bad idea. The mob starts running out you beating you with a fiery rage, luckley you build up and get away. You ran off with some gold nuggets and some flesh from the child. you are hungry and exhausted, covered in tomatoes and burned. Deciding to eat the flesh before you sleep you tear into it, passing out afterwards with the sounds of the endless souls whaling. When you wake up you feel week, shocked and alarmed part of you has turned into a pig. You have caught what is known as Pig-mans disease. You stumble out to finally find a gast, with some of your last will you shoot the gas, having its tears fall down. you finally have collected the items, you must now shove the gold nuggets in the withers mouth, and douse it in tears to open a whaling portal home. But, it didn't work and now you are forever stuck in the Neather, because you decided to look at a book you friend wrote half drunk.