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A Heart of Snow (Contest 5th Place)

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Zatharel avatar Zatharel
Level 48 : Master Sweetheart
I'm uploading this in quite literally the last minute without even a single proofread. Yeah. Enjoy.

Ancient Text / Introduction

An ancient text, it spoke
Of one that had awoke

Traveling through the snow
Comfortable in the cold

Not by spell, nor by a charm
Could it do any harm

Not by will, nor by strange force
Could it end its remorse

Not by the Moon, nor the stars
Could it heal its scars

And on a Winter day
It begins to decay

And as snow is falling
It is now slowly dying


I knew I could not smell
Yet I smelled cold winter air

I knew I could not feel
Yet I was loyal like a dog

I knew I was no sheep
Yet I had a shepherd indeed

The snow rises
And it will protect

The snow rises
And there is no storm

The snow rises
And I am born


I remember a lost day,
A day so far, far away

We went out, casual stroll
To where he took his toll

As we walked upon our path
We had forgotten the way back

And it was then they came out
And it was then the Master’s shout

And there I stood and bravely fought
Yet it was his own safety Master sought

And it was when they saw me crack
They began a fierce attack

It was over when I finally came to
And there was no doubt it was true

There I stood alone as I had once been
For the Master was nowhere to be seen

The Walk

As my end slowly grew near,
I walked, absorbed my fear

Near the lonesome woods,
Two villagers with dark hoods

I approached them and greeted,
But into the woods they retreated

With a naive tempo I followed
Attempting to kill my sorrow

Surrounded by cold, lifeless ground
They were nowhere to be found

At once they came out to kill
For coin, or perhaps for thrill

As I was ready to face my demise
I saw an army of one shadow arise

When I finally looked around,

There was no life, nor sound

I continued along the void of my path
Walking boldly, not looking back

After a short distance I had once again
Reached the place where I had lost a friend

Perhaps there was a reason I circled around?
Perhaps there was something meant to be found?

A Heart of Snow / Conclusion

I stood on the fragments I held onto
Wondering if what I thought was true

And it was as the snow began to melt
And it was as I did not know what I felt

And in the ground that was below
That I saw a cave which was hollow

And it was in that very specific hollow cave
That I saw a decaying body of a man so great

I could not feel, but I felt a sense of relief
Something to finally soothe my grief

My master had never run the other way
He merely slept so he may fight another day

And it was then that I began to melt
And it was then I finally knew what I felt

And it was when I thought he had gone
That I realized he had been with me all along

Decided to include a jukebox for nostalgia sake. RIP Cohen.

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01/18/2017 10:01 am
Level 18 : Journeyman Taco
MicrowavedPlum avatar
What if you win first AGAIN??!!??
01/19/2017 10:30 am
Level 48 : Master Sweetheart
Zatharel avatar
nah that ain't happening, lots of better entries this time around.
01/03/2017 11:59 am
Level 19 : Journeyman Network
Aqil_Huseynov avatar
Good :D
12/28/2016 12:22 pm
Level 23 : Expert Blacksmith
LittleMonsterCore avatar
it smells like rotten cheese
12/28/2016 12:34 pm
Level 48 : Master Sweetheart
Zatharel avatar
12/27/2016 9:11 am
Level 13 : Journeyman Nerd
Strauss avatar
So good, too bad I can't diamond twice
12/24/2016 1:21 pm
Level 31 : Artisan Dragonborn
DragonLilly avatar
wow I was hoping to win the contest but I'm screwed this is to good XD
12/23/2016 2:59 pm
Level 7 : Apprentice Crafter
AugmentedBuilder avatar
Damn, tryna catch up to you :P
12/23/2016 10:10 am
Level 56 : Grandmaster Cyborg
Pepijn avatar
Nice entry. The story you told is way better than most other entries I've read.

The only thing I can think of that is sort of "negative" (just for the sake of complaining :P): I'm personally not a fan of AA BB CC rhyme schemes as I find them not "flow" as well as others, but that's just my taste of course.
12/23/2016 10:20 am
Level 48 : Master Sweetheart
Zatharel avatar
At the time of writing this I was studying about the Persian ghazal, which contains 6-26 stanzas (2 lines per stanza) and has a few other specific things in it. This isn't a ghazal because those things are damn hard to write, but definitely inspired by it.

I wasn't going to use rhymes at first but then it just became natural and I stuck with the AA/BB/CC. It's an interesting scheme for me but I can understand why some don't like it.

Thanks for the criticism though c:
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